Rage and Fire
by Blood Venom Tears0816
Summary: "You shouldn't be near me" I whispered in her ear as her body shivered,I could hear the painful whimper that escape her sweet lips as I squeezed her to my chest.  "It's too late...Bella, I have fallen" She whispered heartbroken... MEGA ANGST AND LEMON!
1. Chapter 1

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Summary: Bella has an illness called ****Intermittent explosive disorder…. (IED), all of her life she had been struggling with her anger and temper. She had no control over her actions.**

**I read about this disorder for a assignment for school and thought that it could become a good story plot, so I'm going to try this but I won't be as dedicated as I am to Choosey lovers.**

**Intermittent explosive disorder**: is a behavioral disorder characterized by extreme expressions of **anger**, often to the point of uncontrollable **rage**, that are disproportionate to the situation at hand.

the outbursts are brief (lasting less than an hour), with a variety of bodily symptoms (sweating, chest tightness, twitching, **palpitations**. The violent acts were frequently reported accompanied by a sensation of relief, and in some cases, **pleasure**, but accompanied by **remorse** after the fact.

**Hope you guys like it!**

**Enjoy!**

**Ch1**

**My name is Isabella Marie Swan and I have Intermittent explosive disorder.**

**The easier definition.**

**I have a very ugly Anger Disorder, which put everybody I love in danger, I have no control; I have no limits of where my anger will escalate. One minute, I can be sitting down talking to you and the next; I'm bashing your face in with a lunch tray. I never had a relationship, not because, I don't want to….because I can't.**

**That is off limits for me, my anger will destroy the relationship alone with her…believe me it happened already. It was horrible to watch but, pleasurable at the same time, watching her fall in love and when the perfect time came.**

**I watched as she fell into piece right at my feet, sometime I would pick her up and put her back together…..just to let go and watch her shattered all over again. **

**I'm a sick fuck…but I can't help who I am, it's better to embrace it then fight it…because every time you try to fight back, you will feel yourself being push back on your ass. **

**I still remember my first lash out, I was thirteen and the nanny was watching me….once again. She was yelling and screaming at about having girls in my room after seven, I felt this tingling sensation course from my feet all the way to my finger tips and before I knew it.**

**I pushed her….down a seven flight of stairs.**

**No one knew what happen to Miss. Bosky, they thought that she fell down the stairs and hit her head, I never shed a tear….I never felt that guilt murders say that feel after awhile of killing someone. I didn't beg forgiveness because, I didn't want it….if God made me this way; then who I to deny who I was. Throughout the years, it just got worse and my parents tried little to help me...nothing was working.**

**The medicine was a way for me to get high…so I wasn't complaining.**

**Sitting here, watching my father pack the trunk with my belonging, I was being shipped to an Uncle who lives somewhere in the fucking woods or something. I went ballistic and manage to break my Mother's wrist and that was the last straw and now I'm being thrown away.**

**Like trash.**

**I didn't like being touched, she knew that….he knew that but, still she insist on touching me and I flipped. I saw her arm reach and I attacked on full instinct, I grabbed her wrist so fast and turn it until I heard that sickening…..as well as pleasurable crack sound. Her screams fueled my anger as I was about to kick her but was pushed back by my Father, it took only seconds for the rage to completely disappear and all I was left feeling was remorse and regret. They couldn't handle me anymore, so they were sending to a doctor….I forgot the name but, I know that last name was Cullen. A loud bang brought me out of my thoughts as I saw that my Father was done loading the car, I moved from the window shield and walked over to my closet and bent down to receive a black box from the back. Pulling the heavy box to view, I sat down and gently rubbed the top as dust flew off and fell carelessly to the floor. **

"**Been a long time" I softly said to the box that held my innermost secretes and fears, I made this box after the death of Miss. Bosky. It was my only friend, my only companion…..my only reason for life. Slowly opening it like it was the box of Pandora, the first that caught my eyes was Miss. Bosky ear rings. She gave them to me when I turned twelve; she was a true Mother to me. **

"**Isabella!" I quickly put the top back on it and lock it, I stood up and dust myself off. This was it; I was no longer apart of this life anymore. **

**Not like I was in the first place.**

**They thought that money and nannies will fill that empty place where my heart use to be, they were the worse parents on the universe. Their jobs were more importantly to them than their struggling daughter who is a lesbian and on top of that…battling with an illness that could put people in danger or worse. **

"**Isa-**

"**I'm coming!" I yelled down the balcony of the hallway, one thing I will miss…..was this big ass house. My parents were stupid rich, they had so much money and spend it on stupid shit like trips and cruses that I never were invited on….ever. I wanted to take their money and put it to good use; like my fucking disorder, to try to get some information on the disease. I grabbed my book bag from the stripped bed, and held my box under my arms tight and walked down the stairs to the car. When I got to the front door, my Mother stop me.**

**She didn't touch…smart woman.**

"**You know I forgive you" she raised her left arm that was wrapped in a white case, I squeezed the box until my arm started to hurt by the ruff edges.**

"**I do not have it in my dead heart to apologize to you, if anything…you should be apologizing to me" I told her calmly as she gasped.**

"**What! You broke my fucking wrist, how do I own you an apology" **

"**For many wrongs but, I will forgive you because you forgave me. You are a sick excuse of a Mother, and I'm so happy that I'm finally being release from your heartless paws. But, one thing I can say….your smart; you got rid of me before I did something I wouldn't regret" I said turning on my heels and walked towards the black truck that was taking me far away from here. I got in and stared straight ahead with back straight, Father finally got in and sat there…I could tell he wanted to say something but, chose not to and turned the car on. I gave one last look at the house I spent seventeen years in, I was being freed….like a prisoner who has just finished their sentence.**

**I was a prisoner…..of my own mind and body.**

**I didn't have the feeling control and…**

**That made me very angry.**

**A/N: well there's the first chapter, I hope you like it….the Cullen's will be coming into the second Chapter.**

**Review…..tell me how you feel about it. :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Bella's feels like her life is a waste of time, she had this illness that she can't control and her parents don't love her. So at this point in her life she feels that things in life you suppose to care about…doesn't matter, the mentality she has in this story is; to care for herself and herself only. **

**No one else will.**

**This story will be in Bella's pov all the way and it's all human…..**

**Enjoy!**

The plan ride was long and dreadful; I got lucky and was place in my own section on the plane.

Parents took precautions I see.

The plane landed and now I'm here looking for a guy in a police uniform, scanning the place….I finally spotted him. He looked just like my Mother, from the eyes to the ugly ass nose we all inherited. I grabbed tightly to my bag handles and walked over to him, I wonder if he will notice me right away who I was…..probably not; no one seems to notice me. Just as I got closer, I tall woman with long black hair came up behind him and hugged him to her, he smiled and kissed her. That took me back, I never seen affections like that; my parents never showed affections like that…well not around me. I got closer and the woman saw me coming and patted him on the chest to get his attention, he looked at me and looked at him….he looked scary but, so was I.

"Isabella?" he said as I nodded.

"I prefer Bella" he quickly nodded and rubbed the back of his neck nervous, the woman stuck her hand out and spoke.

"I'm Sue, Charlie wife…..I have heard a lot about you, and Charlie here hasn't stop talking about you coming to live here with him"

"Sue!" he said as I looked between them in confusion as he reached out to grabbed my bag and I quickly took a step back and narrowed my eyes.

"Don't. Touch. Me" I said harshly as he pulled his hand back, I quickly took a needed breath and calm down.

"Um….let's get you home then" Sue said, she walked out of the Air port to the parking lot where the car was, Charlie was fetching my luggage …not even a minute later, Sue spoke.

"Umm….your Mother told us about the-

"About what….how I broke her wrist" Sue eyes went wide.

"No….the Disorder, she told us that we were to take you to see a doctor she hired to help you" I looked down at my hands.

"Oh"

"It's not your fault Bella, this ill-

"Sue?"

"Yes"

"You don't know shit, so please stop talking….your voice is making my ears bleed" she gasped and quickly turned back in her seat as Charlie finally came to the car and got in.

"We're ready to go" he said excited, I caught Sue's eyes in the mirror.

"Yes, everything is fine here" Sue said as he nodded and pressed the gas, I put my ear buds in my ears and blast the volume to max and zone out…

When we arrived to the house, I saw that it was the size of the fucking garage back home. Was this it?

"Where's the rest of your house?" I asked as Charlie scoffed.

"We don't live the rich life" he said as I got out the car and stood there looking at the ugly house, it had trees growing on it like some virus or something.

"Welcome to your new home" I fake smiled and we all went inside, I thought the outside was ugly…the inside was horror. I scanned the house and saw picture and flowers everywhere; the kitchen was the size of my closet as the bathroom was useless.

"Let me show you your room, Um…Leah, Seth and SuAnne aren't here so you won't see then until a couple of hours or so, you will be next to Leah. Give you a heads up…Leah is a little tempered and well, so are you too, so just stay out of each other way and we should be fine" he said as I step into the room, I saw that the walls were this dark red color and the carpet was red…..I like it.

"How did you know I liked my walls red?"

"Your Mother" Uh. That bitch actually knew something about me.

"Well, I'm going to let you go get settled in. If you need anything, we're down sta-

"I don't need shit" I said as he looked like someone slapped him in the face, he put his hands in his pockets.

"Um….okay" he quickly left and I signed in anger, why could they just put my ass in a crazy home or something, I didn't like it here…I felt the anger increasing as I bent down and grabbed my bag. Opening it, I pulled my box out and laid it across my lap and held it to my chest.

I could feel my chest tighten as sweat started to form on my forehead.

"Bella!" jumping, I squeezed the box tighter as I heard footsteps get closer and closer as the tightness in my chest rose.

"Bella" the voice was right their….right their in my ear.

"W…What!" I gritted out, holding on to whatever strength I had to not lash out on who ever that was calling me.

"Your mother is on the phone" I swung the door open and snatched the phone out of her hand and threw it against the wall as I watched it shattered on impact.

"Not anymore" slamming the door, I walked back to my box, and picked it up and walked to the extra small closet. There was a little shelf, so I closed the box and put it up there for safe keeping. It's been an hour and I was already ready to go back home, I didn't care about being along anymore….I wanted to go back to my safe place, where I was accepted. Back to my room. After unpacking all my things, I sat down legs cross and hand folded…I debated if I wanted to go down stairs or not. I've heard voices when I was unpacking, making my mind up, I got in the shower and went to sleep.

/

Today I was attending Forks High School, I had the pleasure of meeting Leah and…the girl was worse than I. I didn't like her; maybe because she wasn't Charlie or that she had the balls to step up to me but either way I was on thin ice with her. Now Seth and SuAnne was cool for the most part and Sue was too motherly…it was making me gag, Making my way down to the kitchen for breakfast; I saw them all sitting down and eating like a family.

The last time I sat down and ate with my Parents was when I was seven.

"Morning Bella!" SuAnne said jumping out of her booster seat at the table and ran to me, most people knew that I didn't like to be touched but, somehow this little girl got through my interior and I couldn't hurt her so….

"Hey" I said awkward as she wrapped her little arms around my legs, I grabbed her arm and we both walked to the table as Seth nodded at me; while Leah just ignored me.

"You're excited about going to new school and meeting new people" Charlie asked as I shrugged and sat down.

"As long as I don't kill anybody; we should be okay" and…queue the awkward silence, I laughed quietly and fixed me a plate of food. I was not excited, I was nervous because. I didn't want to hurt anybody; I just wanted to be normal. After everybody was done, we started to gather up to leave when Leah shoulder checked me.

"You're excused" I told her going to the car as this time she pushed me.

"Excused me" I shook my head and was about to pick my bag up that fell off my shoulders, she was really pissing me off. We got in the car and just when Leah was about to get in….I grabbed by the back of her neck.

"I'm not the one you want to piss off…so I suggest you leave me be before the woods starts to give out a bad odor" at every word, my hand tighten around her neck.

"O…Okay shit!" I let her go and got in the car, I quickly put my ear buds in when Sue started to talk. Finally we arrived at the school; it was fairly big….kids were everywhere, I slowly got out but was stopped by Charlie.

"Bella"

"Yeah?" he looked down and back up at me with a look of worry.

"Just be careful okay kid and a have good day at school" I didn't know how to respond to that, I never had anybody wish me a good day at school…..well except for Ms. Bosky but that didn't count; she wasn't my parents.

"Um…thanks" walking away from the car, Leah had already walked into the school as Seth was standing there waiting for me.

"Come on, I know you don't you're way around" I nodded and followed him into the school; we got our schedules and saw that we only had lunch and gym together.

"Well, you're that way….just keep straight and make a right turn and your history class is right there" I nodded and walked away. Walking into the room, all eyes were on me; I fucking hated it. Giving the teacher the paper, I walked to the back where I saw an empty seat….there was this spiky haired girl sitting there looking down at her nails, when I got closer she lifted her head and smiled.

Dear fucking God.

"Hello! I'm Alice" I stood there speechless, what the fuck! What was this I was feeling?

"You must be Isabella?" I nodded and finally got my legs to work, she was still smiling and shit. I sat down and pulled my notebook out and folded my arms, she was making me nervous.

"So…Where you from?" I wanted to tell her to mind her fucking business but, my mouth won't form the words.

"Sad Life City" I told her as her beautiful smile vanished, I wanted to coke myself for making it go away.

"I think everybody has visit Sad Life City once in their life" she said smiling at me, I actually smiled at that. I didn't talk after that, but it was a comfortable silence that surrounded us. I stole little glances at her, she was pretty…what the hell was talking about; she was fucking gorgeous, the bell broke me from my stalking. She quickly got up and gathered her things together and looked at me.

"Um…" I looked up at her.

"Yes"

"N…Nothing, I'll see you later" she smiled at me a disappeared through the door; I wanted to know what she was going to say.

It was bad to get involved…..but I couldn't stop myself from wanting to.

First day of school and already I'm fucked.

A/N: A little slow but things should pick up…..Bella's will have a huge lash out next chapter; read and see who calms her down.

Until next time.

Review.


	3. Chapter 3

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

Lunch time had arrived, and I was somewhat cool and calm; no incident…so I say that's a record for me. Students here were very nosy and couldn't mind their own business it seems, it's like everybody knew each other business and now that a new student has arrived they should know everything about them.

Not this student….their not.

Walking through the hallways, I made sure that any contact was avoided at all cost; I just didn't do well with physical since some years back but that was another story to tell. Arriving at my locker, I was having a little trouble trying to unlock it; when I saw Seth and his friends walking towards my way.

"Bella!" I wanted to ignore him but, I couldn't Seth was cool…..it's his sister that had me off the wall.

"Afternoon Seth" I said.

"Everybody this is my cousin Bella, she moved here last week. Bella these are my friends Emmett, Jasper, Edward and Mike" I nodded at them as a heard Seth quickly shoot them away, I got all my biology things I would need for next class and turned back to Seth; slamming the locker shut.

"I'm headed to Lunch; you can sit with us if you want" I nodded and followed him to the huge ass cafeteria, when we entered the doors; it was like all eyes was on me…it made me a little jumpy.

"Don't worry about it, they do that to all new students" Seth said and walked over to five table joined together and was full of students, when I got closer…..I spotted the spiky haired girl from history class.

"Where's Leah" didn't know why I asked, I saw her all hugged up with a guy across the room. It was very disgusting how his hands were all over her in a public place like this.

Disrespectful I thought.

"So you're Bella uh?" A red head asked, I saw Edward put his hands around the girl and kiss her on the forehead. It looked like they all were paired up..Except for Alice, I sat down and made sure I had an escape if needed.

"Bella?"

"Yes" I felt my knee smashing against the bottom of the table as I watched Leah and her boyfriend molest each other, I saw his hand move to her rear end as she pulled it back to her back but, he put it back to her end as she pulled back and they started to argue about something.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" I quickly turned around and glared at the boy who said it, Mike Newton. He was a sad excuse to the male population, he had nothing for him at all, he already rubbed me the wrong way; acting as if he was a player of some sort.

Insecurities can be a bitch.

"No I don't" he smirked.

"Want one" I wasn't even paying attention to him as I saw that the guy harshly grabbed Leah hands and pinning them to her chest as the other started to go to her pants, closing my eyes…..I tried to calm down but, it wasn't working as Mike kept fucking talking and talking until I fucking snapped.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I grabbed his back of his neck and slammed it to the table, I stalked over to Leah and grabbed her from the boy's grip.

"B-

I grabbed the bottom of his chair and flipped him over, and started to stomp his face in. Leah was trying to get me to stop but , I was too far gone already and pushed her as her head hit the edge of the table, I kept kicking and stomping is face. My vision was blurry and unfocused as I felt arms around and I started to punch and throw people off me.

"Fuck! She strong" I back head butted the person who said that and grabbed their shirt and pushed them into the table, my vision started to clear but it was too late.

I felt my foot hit something….hard.

Something soft.

"ALICE!" the anger disappears as I saw that I had Seth neck in my hands….pinned to the floor as I saw everybody surrounding someone. Seth pushed me off him and grabbed me by my sweater and we both ran, I could hear Leah behind us. When we got far away from the school, I fell to my knees, I felt like I was suffocating; I couldn't breathe as my chest tighten painfully.

"What the fuck was that!" Leah said crying as I saw her face was bloody from the table she hit her head on, I quickly got to my feet and grabbed her face in my hands, I feel my nails digging into her skin as I held her face in my hands.

"Why did you let the fucker touch you like that! Are you trying to be a fucking whore Leah…you fucking SLUT!"

"Holy Shit! Bella calm down!" Seth said but I couldn't this was her fault, Alice was hurt.

This was her fault that Alice was hurt….not mine.

"Let me go!"

I face muff her to the ground, she looked scared out of her mind as I grabbed her legs and pulled her to me as she started to scream. Seth tackles me to the ground and grabbed my arms.

"Bella please calm down!"

"NO! I need to punished her…..its her fault" I yelled as I got a grip on his ponytail and pulled it as he fell to side of me as I quickly got up and kicked him in his stomach and looked at Leah.

"You fucking whore, you made me hurt Alice" I ran to her as she stumbled up but, I kicked her in the back as her face smashed into the debris in the woods. I dropped to my knees and grabbed her hair in my hands tight…..making her neck stretch out as she whimpered.

"You want to be a whore um?" I yanked at her shirt as it ripped in my hands, in the back of mind was telling me to stop….your going fucking crazy; as another part was telling me to punished her for making me hurt Alice.

"You need discipline….." I was about to rip her bra off but, suddenly I was hit with something in the back of my head. It didn't knock me out but it did hurt like a bitch, I groaned in pain as I felt hands on me.

"Bella! Are you calm?" I blinked and tried to concentrate as my vision was back clear and the pain in my chest was gone and I was back to normal. I looked up and saw Seth looking at me, I sat up and touched the back of my head and felt the sticky wetness.

"W..What did you hit me with?" I sat looking at my bloody hand.

"I..I didn't mean to hit you that hard, fuck! I'm sorry but you were going to rape Leah….I couldn't let you do that" he was crying and scared as Leah was huddled far away by a tree sobbing.

What the hell have I done?

**A/N: Shit that was tense…..Alice tried to help and end up getting hurt in the process.**

**Until next time.**

**Review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

Never have I gotten so out of hand; well that's a lie….but to the point of raping somebody? I never had to; it was always thrown at me but, I wasn't trying to like rape her for pleasure.

She needed to be punished for making me hurt Alice and being a whore.

You should have seen how she let that mongrel touch her! It was disgusting and she didn't care. Pacing the floor down stairs, Sue and Charlie was upstairs with Seth and Leah talking as SuAnne was sitting on the floor playing with her blocks. The little girl looked just like Charlie, it was scary.

"Bella" I looked away from the child and watched Charlie come down the stairs, he looked pissed. He had the right to be…..I almost raped his daughter; so yeah that should piss off any Father.

Or I thought.

I wish my Father was…. NO! Bella! I don't even get into that, as Charlie guided us to the back porch.

"I'm sorry" he sat down on the steps, I copied and folded my hands in my lap and looked at him, he looked like he wanted to beat the shit of out me.

"I should throw your ass out after that stunt, what the fuck were you thinking Bella!" he yelled as I closed my eyes.

"Lower your voice, I don't do well with people screaming in my face Charlie" I told in a warning as he scoffed.

"What! You're going to do? Break my wrist next or how about snatching my shirt off and raping me…..uh!"

"I'm sorry"

"Sorry doesn't cut it, Bella I know your sick but…..and need help"

"I'm not sick!" balling my fist up as he saw and shook his head.

"See! We can even have a civilized conversation without you getting angry" I looked at my hand that was balled up as they were turning white form the pressure I was putting on it and released.

"This is who I am, I can't get rid of it…the medicine is not working anymore. I try and try but, seem like my lash outs are coming frequently and it's taking more to calm me than before. Seth had to hit me with something to get me to snap out of it, if it wasn't for Seth ….." I let the sentence hang because; I didn't want to think about what could have happen.

I just wished that somebody was there for me.

"Bella I get that but, this can't happen again. You and Leah will stay away from each other; I don't want to hear anything out of either of you" I nodded, I didn't want to socialized myself with her anyway….she doesn't respect herself so why should I. he got up and opened his arm to me, I felt my dead heart race…..what did he want?

"Give your Uncle a hug Bella, your still my niece and love you" he said, and for seven years….I felt a sting in my eyes.

"I…I don't do hugs" he pulled up and crushed me to him, my first instincts told me to knee him but something stopped me as I stood there stiff as a broad.

"One of these days, you will hug me back" he let go and walked back into the house but stopped at the door.

"Apologize to both Leah and Seth" I nodded, sitting back down on the steps. I didn't go ape shit when he touch me…..was I healing?

_Charlie doesn't scare you_

But he's still a man?

And he touched you; just like the nanny did…a hug.

It always started out with a hug.

**/**

I knew I needed to apologize, one thing I hated more than men….was apologizing.

I fuck hating being wrong.

Not like I was wrong in this situation in the first place but, it was not right for me to do what I did to Leah. I had Apologize to Seth and asked him to help me apologized to Leah, he told me all the things she like and she been salivating for an iPod since sophomore year.

And there's my apology.

She didn't know it was from me, she just thought Charlie finally broke and got her one. Her smile almost made me feel happy that I brought it.

Almost.

School was tense; I avoided Alice like the fucking plague. I felt my heart shattered when I saw her face, it was swollen and bruise from her forehead to her jaw line. Seth told me that she tried to get a grip on my leg and I kicked her…right in the face with a sized seven timberland boot, and now walking to the kitchen, I saw that Leah and Seth had some friends over. Everybody stayed away for me, even in school, not like I was complaining.

Me and lonely goes together like jelly and peanut butter.

"Bella" I looked up and saw Alice standing there.

In my fucking kitchen, I should've been happy but, I didn't take my medicine yet. I wanted to reach out and made her pain go away but, my soul wouldn't let me feel.

"Alice" I turned my back on her as she sat down on the stool, I opened one of the cabinets and saw all my pills lined up like fucking spices and seasonings. I quickly grabbed the main two I needed, what was she doing here? Did last week mean anything to her….I was dangerous but, here she was.

"Why are you here Alice?" she fidget with her fingers nervous…it was cute.

What the fuck!

"Honestly…..I don't know"

"There always a purpose Alice, no one does things without purpose….so I'm going to ask you again. Why are you here?" she looked so sad.

"Are you sick or something?" she eyed my pill bottle as I laughed.

"Some what"

"Does it have anything to do with what happen last week?" I quickly swallowed three pills without water as she grimace at the action.

"No water?"

"If you haven't notice…I'm fucked up in the head" I sat down.

"I want to apologize about the boot to the face" I said as she frowned.

"Is that suppose to be an apology?" I hiked an eyebrow and laid back against the chair….glaring at her.

"Yeah….that's how far my apologies will go; so if you don't like it, that's your problem" I said as she shook her head.

"I knew I shouldn't have came here…listening to my stupid heart" she jumped up and I didn't even think.

I grabbed her arm hard as she gasped out in pain.

"Let me go!"

"Get the fuck out my house!" I told her as she looked at me and ran out of the kitchen as her faggot ass Brother Edward came storming in.

"Hey! What's the fuck is your problem"

"Remember church boy…..you're in my house" Seth quickly came between us as Alice came running in with Leah on her heels.

"Edward let just go….I want to go home" I smiled.

"Yeah Edward go home, and count your blessing" Alice grabbed his hand as they walked away but Alice turned around.

"One of these days, you will need someone and no one will be there"

"No one was never there in the beginning so should they start now" I told her as she looked into my eye like she could see my deepest secretes, I held her stare and let her see the rage and fire that lies behind these brown eyes of mines…..

A/N: Alice is getting sucked into Bella's non-existing web….

Until next time.

Review.


	5. Chapter 5

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

**Warning! Rape.**

"_**Isabella!" I stop playing with my dolls and heard Henry coming up the stairs; I smiled and ran out of the room.**_

"_**Henry!" my seven year old self said, as Henry came around the corner.**_

"_**Time to eat kiddo" I ran to him and jumped into his arms, I liked Henry; he was a fun nanny than the rest that came here. He took me places and played game with me, Henry was everything to me, and he was my best friend.**_

"_**Henry! I'm not hungry" I pouted as he kissed my cheek.**_

"_**Well, that's too bad kiddo…..cause after you ate, I was going to take you to get some ice cream" my small eye widen.**_

"_**No! I want Ice cream"**_

"_**Then you have to eat something" I nodded, excited about ice cream. We made our way to the large kitchen and he had fixed me my favorite.**_

_**Peanut butter and jelly.**_

"_**Thank you" he sat down next to me and watched me eat. Halfway through my sandwich, he started to rub my back.**_

"_**Do you want to take bath" I shook my head, my mouth full.**_

"_**Noooo! I just had one" **_

"_**I know, but we're going to park"**_

"_**Park!" he nodded and smiled, kissing my on my forehead. After cleaning my dish, he picked me up and put me in his lap.**_

"_**You know I love you right?" he said I nodded and hugged him.**_

"_**I love you too Henry...You're my best friend" he smiled and I felt his hands rubbing my legs.**_

"_**You're my best friend too Isabella" I smiled and poke his nose as he laughed; his hands were touching my thighs.**_

"_**So how about that bath?" **_

"_**I get ice cream"**_

"_**As much as you want baby girl" he said kissing me on the lips, I jumped out of his lap and grabbed his hands and we walked up the stairs to the bathroom.**_

"_**Come here so I can take your clothes off" I looked at him confused.**_

"_**Mommy always let me take my clothes off" **_

"_**Mommy not here…..she's never here" I shrugged my shoulders and got undressed, I was so excited to get ice cream. He came back in after drawing a bath, he held his hand out for me and I jumped into his arms. I felt his hands rubbing my back, he walked us into the bathroom and saw all the bubbled and toys.**_

"_**Here we are bunny" I smiled and he put me in the warm water as I quickly started to play with the toys as he just sat there and watched.**_

"_**Bunny?" I looked up at him.**_

"_**Uh" **_

"_**Do you want me to get in there with you…..we can play anything you want" Mommy always got into the tub with me and played but, daddy never did it.**_

"_**Daddy never did that" I said as he bent down.**_

"_**If you don't want me to play with you, then we're not going to go get any ice cream" I quickly shook my head.**_

"_**No! I want ice cream" **_

"_**Okay then" he got undressed and got into the water, I was confused….**_

"_**Mommy doesn't look like that" I told him as he nodded.**_

"_**Because, Mommies and Daddies are different" he grabbed my arms and pulled me to his lap as he started to play with the little ducks.**_

"_**How?" I asked.**_

"_**Well, Mommies has pussies"**_

"_**What a pussies" he laughed and I felt his hand go between my legs and touch me.**_

"_**That's a pussy and Daddies has dicks" he grabbed my little hand and put it on his…..what did he say it was?**_

"_**And when people love one another they fuck" I moved my hand form him and started to play with the toys but, he harshly grabbed my hand and put it back on him.**_

"_**Do you know what fucking is?" I shook my head as he pulled me off him and to me to stand up…..so I did.**_

"_**Fucking is when, this….and this touch" he grabbed himself and touched me, I was still so confused.**_

"_**I want ice cream now Henry" I said as he nodded.**_

"_**After you do me a favor….then we can go get some ice cream" I nodded happily.**_

"_**Promise"**_

"_**Pinky promise bunny" he grabbed me and he grabbed himself, then before I could even relies what was happening I felt a sharp….excruciating pain.**_

_**And I screamed.**_

"BELLA! WAKE UP!" I let my eyes shoot open as I saw Sue and Charlie looking down at me in horror, I saw Seth and Leah at the door looking scared, I felt my sheets were soaking wet by my sweat and tears.

I never fucking shed tears.

"Bella baby! Are you alright?" I was shaking and sat up, the memory was so fresh in my mind as I grabbed my head and screamed.

I needed to forget.

"Bella! Come down please" I felt hands on me.

"_**Shhhh, its okay bunny" **_

"_**It's almost over"**_

I felt my chest tighten painfully as I heard Charlie yell something as I shook and screamed bloody murder, I needed my medicine.

I needed to forget.

"Bella….open your eyes"

"No! I can't"

"Yes you can…just relax and count to ten with me" Charlie said as he started to count, at first it wasn't working but when we got to counting…

"One…."

"Two….breathe"

"Three…." When we got to ten, I felt tighten in my chest disappear. Slowly opening my eye and I saw Charlie in front of me and went into protective mode.

Grabbing his collar, we both went flying into the door…..I couldn't give him an opening.

I can't trust anybody.

"Bella! Stop" Charlie grabbed my arms and pinned them to my back as I screamed.

"_**You feel so good bunny" **_

"Please Bella calm down"

"Call ! NOW!" I kicked and screamed, but nothing was working as the fucking tighten in my chest came back but it was too much.

"It hurts"

"_**It's hurts"**_

"_**I know Bunny" **_

I don't how long I was screaming and struggling until I felt a needle being inserted into my arm…and everything started to go black.

**A/N: I have nothing to say after that.**

**Until next time**

**Review.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

_**I have no values for this life.**_

_**I have no reasons to go on but, somehow I'm still here in sight.**_

_**As whom I thought of as best friend killed me like a bloody knife.**_

_**I look into the dark night.**_

_**My life will never be the same.**_

_**Nor will my heart be open for target.**_

_**Playing with my head was his game.**_

_**His name was Henry Monnet.**_

_**A face of an angel.**_

_**But a heart of the devil.**_

_**I didn't know his angle.**_

_**And got sucked into his evil.**_

_**I'm beyond fixable now.**_

_**My hands are deadly.**_

_**My mind had shut down and I don't know how.**_

_**If death comes knocking…I'm more than ready.**_

_**To rid myself of all the hurt I cause.**_

_**All the hurt he causes.**_

_**And more importantly.**_

_**Rid myself from this rage that seems to take control of my humanity. **_

I don't know how long I've been sitting here on the window shield but, night time was rolling in and the stars were coming out. Dr. Cullen had rushed over here and gave me and sedation, I was never keen on sedations all that much…..it made me more uncontrolled of my body than I am already. Charlie looked so scared for me when I finally opened my eyes, it was all just for show…but I wasn't going to give him an opening I couldn't.

Got burned last time.

I heard a knock on my door, jumping from the window….I made my way to the door and slowly opened as it revealed Seth and Leah.

"Bella are you alright" Seth asked, I didn't reply right away but, I did nod as Leah slowly walked in behind him.

"You scare the shits out of me…your screams were so painful"

"Screams of a broken soul" I said walking back to the window as Leah just stood there by the door…scared.

"Can I help you guy with anything" Seth shook his head.

"No, I just wanted to you to know that we're here for you if you need anything…..we are family"

"We are no where near family! We do not share the same blood so that's make you **not** family" I glared at them as Leah finally spoke.

"Why are you so fucking black hearted?" I shrugged.

"Life made me this way"

"You have the choice, a choice to stop being so damn heartless and live for a chance" I laughed bitterly.

"My choice was ripped away from me and I can't have it back, blinded by false love and care from a person I once called a friend. So please save that bullshit for someone else; because I don't want to hear it"

"Blood or not…your still family and you're hurting"

"Blood of hurt….I'm use to it, so if there's anything else you want to discuss; if not you can go and never enter again" Leah quickly walked out mumbling as Seth stood there, he was too young to know the evil this world has done to me and I didn't want to rob him of his innocence, he was only thirteen.

"Seth…I'm not a good person" he shrugged his shoulders.

"You can be, you just have to fight"

"I fought and still I have this rage, it will not go away until I take my last breath" I thought about, multiple times but never have I considered it. It would stop the hurt; it will stop the anger and nightmares.

"You can beat this; you just need a hand to hold" Alice immediately popped into my head when he said that, would Alice be the hand that carries all of my pain away? Or will it be the hand that will pull me farther down then I already am?

"You know, Alice can be that hand for you" I quickly looked up at him as he smirked.

"Yeah…..that girl has Bella goo goo eyes stamped all over her face, Emmett and Edward is getting tried of her talking about you all the time"

"The girl is blinded by her physical attraction, she's naïve"

"That might be but, the girl likes you" I looked at him.

"Yeah now, but just wait…..she'll be running just like the rest" he shook his head and walked away, I quickly locked the door behind him. Stripping down to my undergarments, I walked over to the bathroom and saw a glimpse of my back in the mirror; the red scars were angry and dangerous. They went form my shoulder blade to the middle of my back, just by looking at them…. I can still feel her nails tearing through my skin as her scream echoed through the room. Taking a quick shower to rid myself from the past and getting comfortable in the bed, I put my hands behind my back and looked up at the ceiling.

"She will just get hurt" I whispered through the silent room, I turned on my side and let my eyes close as sleep finally took over.

**/**

School was turning out just like school back home, students moving across the hallway to get away from me as I walked down. The only person who wasn't scare of me was Emmett and his girlfriend Rosalie, that bitch had some balls…..it was refreshing to know that I didn't put fear in everybody.

I think I finally found a friend.

She was like Leah but she was more bitchy and didn't give a fuck…it made me feel things.

Good things.

Walking into History class, I saw Alice was already there. Walking to my desk, I suddenly felt a hand grabbing my wrist.

"Your Bella right?" a blond girl asked as her friends all scooted in to hear my response, I licked my lips and grabbed the hand.

"Yes….I am Bella and you are?" she blushed.

"I'm Helen and these are my friends Jessica and Lauren, we were just wondering if it was true that you have an anger problem" she said as I smirked and squeezed her hand as she whimpered trying to get it out of my grasp.

"Why don't you bitches mind your own damn business….before someone get seriously hurt" she started to whimper louder as I let her hand go and walked over to my desk, Alice looked wide eyed. She closed her mouth and looked at her book but kept stealing glances at me, she wanted to say something so bad, and I finally got irritated at her fidgeting.

"Fuck! Can you stop with the fucking fidgeting" she blushed and quickly stopped as I opened my book.

"I know why you do what you do" she said as I looked up from my book and glared at her, what the fuck does she know?

"And what is that Allen" she narrowed her eyes at me.

"It's Alice"

"Whatever"

"You're an asshole" I smiled.

"And you're a bitch that has a fuck up way of attracting the wrong kind of people"

"Why are you so fucking negative about your self" the smiled vanished form my face, why was she pushing so fucking much.

"Why do you care?"

"That's not what I asked"

"Well I'm asking you….why do you care so much?" she quickly looking away from me and bit her lip.

"I asked you a question!" I grabbed her arm, as she looked at my hand that was at the moment cutting off her circulation in her arm.

"What….you're going hit me now"

"If it gets to that point" she cocked an eyebrow as my hand tighten.

"Bella, you're really hurting me" I felt the tighten in my chest creep as my grip gotten tighter as she started to cry out and just as it came…..it quickly vanished.

"Isabella let Miss. Cullen go NOW!" I quickly blinked and looked at a tear faced Alice and saw that the whole Class was silent and was watching the whole show, I saw Alice arm was turning the reddish and purplish color.

"A..

She didn't even throw a glance at me as she quickly gathered all her things up and ran from the room, a big apart of me wanted to chase her and apologized.

But that nagging voice in my head was telling me to let her go and forget about it…..she provoke you.

Yeah that's it.

Its her fault, not mines.

God! I'm so fucked up…where's my medicine?.

**A/N: Sorry for the wait, Bella is being an asshole…nothing new there but next chapter Alice will start to chip at Bella's ice wall that surrounds her dead heart.**

**Until next time**

**Review.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Bella/Alice **

**Rated M**

**Enjoy! **

A whole week went by, and still no sign of Alice. Not like I was worried or anything I just think that she was missing out her school work.

Who the hell was I kidding…..I was fucking going crazy.

Where the hell was she?

"Bella! Did you just hear what I said?" Rosalie said glaring at me as I hiked an eyebrow at her as she quickly looked down and at Emmett. She might be on my good side for now but, she knew who the fucking lion was and who the zebra in our little friendship.

"What do you want Ros" She hated that nickname and I fucking loved calling her that just to get a reaction out of her, Emmett told me that Alice was sick and she couldn't move out of the bed this morning but I knew that was fucking bullshit, and Edward was getting on my last nerves.

"How is Alice doing" I chose to ignore Rosalie and looked at Emmett as Edward glared at me and spoke.

"Why! So you can bruise her other arm up" he said, I looked at him.

"Watch it" I warned him as he scoffed but Seth quickly pushed him.

"Dude stop before she fucking flips" he told Edward but Edward thought that shit don't stank.

"So what's…..wrong with you anyway; except for being a fucking psycho?" Seth hissed as I felt my knee slam against the table.

"Edward chill dude" Emmett tried to tell him but he still kept flapping his mouth as Mike laughed with him.

"You take medicine don't you? I bet she can open her own pharmacy with all the bottles she got or are you just a pill popper?" he smirked evil as Mike bust up laughing and spoke.

"A Pill popping Psycho" Him and Edward laughed loudly as I balled my fist up and I got up and walked away, they all was so shocked that I didn't tear Edward a new face….I had other things on my mind.

Like Alice.

I grabbed my bag and went to my locker had grabbed my jacket and left, I didn't want to be here anymore. Walking down Forks streets, I knew I was going to get lost but, I didn't care…it's been awhile since I have been walking out here. Looking at my watch I saw that it was seven and the sky was getting darker and darker but I didn't care, I was more dangerous than any other drunk wandering around here. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about my parents…what was they doing right now? I bet they were sipping some old ass wine and having dinner with their friend and celebrating now that they didn't have to look after me anymore.

Not like they did anyway.

Their money was more of a parent then they were, it brought me my first bike, brought me medicine when I needed it. It brought me my first training bra and my first tampon, and it brought me my first friend.

The money was always there when I needed it.

It started to rain, so I started to back track back to the school, I saw that Seth was still there with Leah and Rosalie. I quickly turned around and ran to the woods, I didn't want to hurt anybody, and I can feel my medicine wearing off. My Chest tighten as my palms started to sweat as well as my forehead, laying my jacket down and laying down on the hard ground of the woods, I closed my eyes as a memory came crashing in.

"_**Bella! We're leaving" I heard my Mother say as I went flying down the stairs to stop her, I didn't want to be left alone here with Henry. I saw my Father talking to Henry as he saw me and smiled, I quickly went to my Mother, and hugged her from behind but she quickly pushed me off of her and dusted her clothes off.**_

"_**Don't do that! You know how much this silk shirt cost" she glared at me.**_

"_**Why can't I come with you guys?" I asked as Henry and Father came walking in, I felt my eyes sting.**_

"_**You know why Bella! Why are you being so stupid" I looked at Father and gave him a look that should've had him worried but nothing cross his face.**_

"_**Bunny? I though you want to play with me" Henry said as I looked up and saw him smiling at me, I didn't want to play with him…..it always hurt when ever we play.**_

"_**Daddy…..Please take me with you" I pled, I really didn't want to be here with Henry as Mother grabbed Father's hand and they both walked over to the door.**_

"_**Be a good girl for Henry and don't call us" she said as they disappeared behind the door, my heart shattered as the door slammed close. I slowly turned around and saw that Henry was still there smiling at me.**_

"_**Bunny?" he said walking slowly to me as I whimpered and slid down the door and let my eyes closed as big tear drop fell from my closed eyes.**_

"Bella! Please wake up…Please I need you" I could hear someone yelling my name but, I couldn't open my eyes.

"_**You use to love playing with me Bunny" I felt his hand slide inside my pants as I slammed my head against the door and cried harder, I felt my legs being pulled apart.**_

"_**Come on, let get you in bed" he stood my up and hoisted me up and grabbed my legs and put the around his waist. His hands were rubbing my rare end, when we got to the bedroom he laid me down and moved behind me.**_

"_**I love you bunny….do you love me?" I didn't respond quicker for him as he squeezed me to him hard as I spoke.**_

"_**Y…Yes Henry I love you"**_

"_**I'm your best friend?" he pulled my pants down and panties as I felt waterfalls of tears hitting my pillow.**_

"_**Yes….I will always be your best friend" my voice sounded so scratchy for a ten year old, he got on top of me and caressed my face.**_

"_**This is our little secret right?"**_

_**Our little secret.**_

I felt myself lying on a soft bed as the smell of strawberries and chocolate was assaulting my nose, I slowly opened my eyes and felt the pain in my chest and I screamed.

"Holy shit! Alice she awake" I heard Emmett say as I gripped at my chest trying to get the pain to stop but that only made it harder, I felt a dip in the bed as I felt arms around me.

"Bella Baby, it's me" I knew that voice.

"A…Alice" I didn't want to open my eyes because I knew that pain would get even worse if I did, I was still stuck in my memory and that's why the pain was so severe. I can still feel him on me, moving up and down; I was stuck.

"Bella! If you can hear me….squeeze my hand for me" I felt her hand and squeeze hard, I felt myself getting sucked back into another memory but it wasn't Henry's….

_**Walking through the dark house, I knew this house like the back of hand. I've been all through this house, trying to sneak away from her father or trying not to get caught when climbing the tree by her window. Her parents weren't home, that was good…not like something was going to happen, I didn't like physical contact in anyway and I knew that it was making hard for her to be with me without being with me like that but, I didn't care.**_

_**She was just a comfort for the nights and then when the sun came up she was dispose like last night trash and recycled when ever I needed her again.**_

_**Making my way up to her room, I heard something that made my heart beat faster and my hand ball in rage.**_

_**Moaning.**_

_**I quicken my steps up the stairs and bust through the door and saw her between a girl's legs that weren't mines. I didn't think and lunged, grabbing the girl who I didn't know hair and dragging her to the window of her room, I could feel Julia arms trying to stop me but, I was too strong and I let the anger and rage take over.**_

_**It was too late.**_

"_**Bella Please don't this!"**_

_**I quickly grabbed the girl legs and she fell more out the window, her scream were deafen as I let go of one leg and watched it break at the pressure from being hanged from a window. **_

"_**Got damn it Bella Please!" I grabbed her by her face and muffed her to the floor and...**_

_**Let go.**_

_**Her room was only a one story and half up so he wasn't that much of a fall but it still hurt like hell. I turned to Julia and watched as she coward away from me but I wasn't having that, I grabbed her legs and pulled up…..throwing her on the bed.**_

"Bella…I know you can hear me, I want you to know that I'm here come back.

"_**Bella, I'm sorry!" she tried to say as I let my elbow smash against her face, I grabbed her legs hard in my hands and let my nails dig until I felt the sticky of her blood on my hands, I felt my shirt being ripped apart by her pulling. I sat up and I saw myself as she cried and push at me to get off of her, I felt tears in my eyes.**_

_**I was just like him.**_

"_**Why?" I coked out.**_

"_**I'm so sorry!" I shook my head, that wasn't going to fix it as I closed my eyes and slammed my fist against her ribs. Her screams sounded identical to my own as Henry fist came slamming to my ribs as I struggled like she was now.**_

"Please wake up baby! I need you"

_**I grabbed her neck in my hand and squeezed, her nail were tearing through my skin on my back. The blood was oozing through as I closed my eyes at the pain, I tighten my grip and her nails were like knives to my skin, slicing right through like butter.**_

"_**WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE!" her father saw what I was doing and looked down at Julia and saw that her eyes were starting to roll behind her lids as her father yelled and lunged at me.**_

Hands were on me as I jumped up, and grabbed who ever it was touching me. I felt myself and who ever I had in my grasp fall against the floor.

"Bella! Stop!" I felt myself being flipped over as someone straddled my waist; my hand touched something soft and milky.

I felt the pain ease a little.

What the hell was I touching; it felt so soft and warm.

"Shit! Alice its working keep doing that" I heard voice say, as I felt her hand grab mines and it put on more soft and milky skin, the pain finally stopped and I slowly opened my eyes. My vision was blurry as I let my hands roam who ever soft skin I was touching, it was making me calm.

"Well At least we know what calms her down now!" Emmett laughed as I looked down at where my hands were and hissed, they were touching Alice upper thighs.

"GET OFF ME!" I roared and pushed her a few feet away as she went flying at the bathroom door, I saw that her head hit the door pretty hard as she laid there motionless and that's when I felt it.

Something that was worse than Rage and Anger.

Fear…

I quickly crawled over to her as tears welled in my eyes, I could hear Charlie and Seth gasping at my reaction.

Hell I would too… I never gave reaction like this before.

"Alice! Baby I'm sorry" I whispered as she moaned and grabbed her head, I put her head in my lap and looked up. I saw everybody was standing there looking shocked, I looked back down at Alice and pulled her to me.

"I'm sorry" I chanted to her as she moved out of my grasp and looked at me, them she started to touched me everywhere looking worried.

"Your okay?" I looked shocked at her, her head was probably bleeding and she was worrying about me?

"No! Are you okay…I didn't mean to push you like that but-

"God! I missed you" I felt her arms wrapped around me, first thing that came to my mind was to push her again and this time knock her out but…..something kept my arms to my side.

What was this girl doing to me?

**A/N: Wow! Is all I got to say about that…Alice is getting through but like always; take a step forward only to take two back.**

**Until next time.**

**Review :) **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I don't own shit.**

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

Lying here in her bed, with her arms around me protectively.

It was dark outside, I wonder how long I been out, lifting my head up to watch her small chest rise and fall at ever deep breaths she took. I felt so not myself, as her warm arms surrounded me like a blanket, my head was nuzzling in her breast as my hands were laced with her; lying carelessly on my stomach.

"Bella" I heard her angelic voice reach my ears, I felt my body just turn into goo at the sound. She ran her fingers through my hair, and squeezed my hand that was laced with hers.

Henry use to love my hair.

NO! Abort!

"Bella are you alright?" I looked up at her and quickly untangled myself from her, this was wrong.

"This is wrong" she sat up looking heartbroken.

"What?" I stood up and put some distance between us, I shouldn't of had let this get so far like this.

"This…..you"

"Me" she squeaked as tears welled in her eyes.

"Yes you, I'm not a god person Alice…..you deserved someone who will love you; not put bruises on you"

"Bella I don't care about that, I care about you so much…I know your sick or some-

"I'm not sick" I yelled at her as she flinched and moved away from me and I laughed.

"See that right there, you just moved like three feet away from me when I yelled at you" she bit her lip.

"Your eyes"

"What"

"Your eyes, there so black…..they looked so angry, why are you so angry all the time" I signed and fell back on the bed.

"It courses through my veins like blood; I have no way of getting rid of it" I looked her right in her eyes.

"It's who I am" before I could back away, she grabbed my face in her hands.

"Then why are trying to punished yourself for being yourself"

"Because, that's what the world has taught me do to" I whispered as her fingers danced against the skin on my neck.

Why am I not freaking out!

"How are you doing that?" I asked her, her eyes looked confused.

"How I'm doing what"

"I don't like physical contact but here you are touching me" she blushed and rubbed my neck harder, shit! That felt good.

"Well, looks like the rage inside of you likes me" I smiled at her.

"Guess so"

"Will you tell me what that was in the woods…..and who is Henry?"

"No one you should know about, don't ask again" I warned her as she quickly nodded, I wanted to tell someone…anyone just to get it off my chest. I have been carrying this secret for so long that it was destroying me from the inside out.

"What ever it is, I want to help you"

"Why?"

"Because, I have never felt this way for anybody and I can't seems to stay away from you even when my head keeps screaming at me too run and run fast" I looked at her with a serious face and grabbed her arms.

"You should listen to your head"

"I'll keep to my heart…..it haven't lead me a stray yet" she smiled; her smiled was so genuine and pure.

I was just going to break her like I did Julia.

"I'm still dangerous"

"I so happen to like dangerous" I closed my eyes and gave a harsh breath.

"You don't get it! This is not a fucking game…I can hurt you"

"You did already…twice and still I stand here" I back away from her, I could myself getting angry again.

"Why are you making this so damn hard?" I spat at her

"Why are you fighting it?"

"Your threading on thin ice little girl" I warned her as she signed and put he head in her hand and started to cry.

"Now what?" I said

"You don't feel the same way?" She asked as I bent down and looked her right in the eyes; this was my change to save from myself.

"No I don't…..you are below me, and I will end up hurting you" she glared at me.

"Get out"

"Gladly" I stood up and walked over to the door as she screamed out in panic.

"NO! I didn't mean that, please Bella"

"I'm trying to save you from a world of hurt" I said to her as she quickly walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me.

"I don't need saving….you do and that's what I'm going to do; with or without you" she said squeezing me tightly. This girl was so fucking stubborn but, sweet as hell.

"You shouldn't be near me" I whispered in ear as she shivered, I could hear the painful whimper that escape her sweet lips as I squeezed her to my chest.

"It's too late Bella…..I have fallen" she whispered back.

"You say you have fallen….and I say that I will not be there to catch you"

"All I need to soften my fall is your heart"

"I have no heart" she put her head on my chest.

"Your heartbeats are so strong and you say you don't have no heart" I closed my eyes.

"I have no heart to give you; it has been ripped away from me long time ago"

"Then we get it back" I looked at her.

"How?" she gently moved some hair from my eyes and out it behind my ear, I leaned into her touch.

"By letting my bring it back to life"

"It will be difficult"

"I live for difficult"

"I can't promise you forever" I told her.

"I don't want forever….I just want Bella"

"There's so many different Bella that's swirling through me" she pulled me back to the bed as I laid my head on her chest listening to her heartbeats.

"I want to know the real Bella" she said as I felt tears well.

"And that's why I'm so scared" I whispered as she kissed my forehead.

"Why?"

"Because, even I don't know the real Bella" the room went silent….

**/**

School has been a little more relaxing than normal, I don't know if it's because Alice or I'm just not feeling angry all the time anymore.

But whatever it was….I like it.

Alice was coming to pick me up from school; Leah and I manage to came an agreement with each other after I saved her from her stupid ass boyfriend last week. The fucker tried to force himself on her…I know I shouldn't talk but, I couldn't let him do that to her, we were the only people in the house and I heard her scream my name. I went too far as usual but he deserved it, Charlie manage to get the piece of shit to the hospital and Carlisle manage to save his dick after I cut half of it off with a pair of scissors I saw on her computer desk. He hasn't been back to school since, and I gave Leah a mouth full afterward for letting it get that far.

See what being a tease do to you.

Walking to the kitchen I saw SuAnne and Sue.

"Bella!" I smiled when SuAnne started to run full speed at me; I caught her when she jumps at me. Sue was never keen on SuAnne being in close range with me, I didn't blame her.

"So what's up….Annie" it was my nick name for her and she always blushed when I called her that, it made me so happy that I did feel something other than rage and anger all the time.

"Well…." She dragged out.

"I was wondering of you could take to the par-

"I don't think that's a good idea baby girl, why don't I take you to the park" Sue said as SuAnne pouted and hugged me.

"No! I want Bella to take me"

"But-

"It's okay Sue" I put the little girl down and smiled at her.

"Why don't you let your mom take you to the park and when you get back….I'll play tea party with you" her whole face lit up.

"Leah don't even play tea party with me…cool!" She ran out of the kitchen as I stood back up and looked at Sue.

"Look I'm so-

"Don't bother, I would have did the same….but I want you to know that I wish I had someone to take me to park" I heard a honk and grabbed an apple from the bowl.

"I know I'm fuck up but, I still have feelings" I told her and left, I didn't know why her saying I couldn't be alone with her daughter made me hurt inside…she made me feel like I was some fucking child molester.

Like Henry.

"Bella!" I snapped out of my thoughts and saw Alice smiling at me from her car, with Rosalie and Tanya in the back.

"Hey" I said getting in and we drove off, Tanya quickly broke the silence…..nothing new there.

"So…Bella"

"Yes Tanya"

"You and Alice uh" She smirked as Alice blushed and took a turn.

"What's it too you" I glared at her from the mirror as Alice put her hand on my thigh to try and calm me down as Rosalie laughed at Tanya face.

"Nothing I was just wondering"

"Wondering if I gotten my face between her legs yet" the car swerved and Alice coked on air as I smirked.

"Uh…"

"Just fucking with you Tanya" I smiled as she gave a scared laughed as Alice finally got us too the school, I got out and walked over and opened the door for Alice as Rosalie and Tanya rolled their eyes.

"Don't hate" Alice said grabbing my hand; I took her bag and mines as we all made our way inside. We met up with Emmet, Jasper, Maria and Pussy ass Edward and his butt buddy Mike, I almost cry with laughter when Edward saw Alice and my hand laced together.

"Alice what the fuck" Alice rolled her eyes at him as mike glared at me.

"Alice, why can't you date a normal person like Mike here" Edward said as I growled at him.

"Shut the fuck up Edward….I'm having a some what decent day so far; don't push me" Mike came up to us and put his hand on Alice shoulders.

"Come on Alice, your not serious with this psycho, I'll make you feel good" Alice shrugged his hand off her shoulders and squeezed my hand.

"For the million time Mike…..no and hell no!" I smiled at Edward who had his hand around Tanya waist.

"I bet she don't even know what a pussy is"

"_**What a pussies" he laughed and I felt his hand go between my legs and touch me.**_

"_**That's a pussy" **_

"_**And when people love one another they fuck"**_

"_**Do you know what fucking is?" **_

"Bella"

"_**Fucking is when this and… this touch" he grabbed himself and touched me.**_

"_**I love you bunny"**_

"_**I love you too Henry you're my best friend" **_

"I told you….she fucking crazy" all I saw was Edward and I lunged, his back hit the lockers so hard that it raddled the rest.

"Listen here you fucking red hair bitch" I grabbed his shirt and slammed him again against the lockers.

"I will so advise you and your butt buddy to fuck off because, I had enough. I trying so hard but, you two bitches are making hard for me to not cut your little dicks off and shove in both of your mouths" I let Edward and swung my fist to his face hard, he cried out a little bitch…..it only fuel my anger when they scream.

"Leave me alone…do I make myself clear?" I grabbed his shirt and slammed him the third time against the lockers.

"Y…Yeah" I let him go and walked over to Alice, Mike didn't even see it coming as I swirled around and crashed my fist to his nose.

"Call me a pill popping psycho again and I will show a psycho for real" he went down hard as I smiled at Alice and spoke.

"Ready to go?" her jaw was to the floor as well as everybody else's, Emmett and Seth was on the rolling on the floor laughing to death.

"Well I don't feel bad….it's their own fault" Rosalie said as kicked Emmett to get up as Tanya went to Edward.

"Bella" I heard Edward say.

"What do you want now dick sucker"

"I know something about you" I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah and what's that ass fucker" he smiled.

"The school really needs to keep students flies locked up more secured so others like me won't find out your history" he smirked

"Edward" I warned as he smiled getting up.

"What! You don't' want Alice to know what you really are"

"Shut the fuck up"

"Does Henry Monnet rings a bell" Alice gasped and looked up at me, I was shaking with rage and walked towards Edward who back up and laughed.

"So disgusting, I though was going to hurl"

"Edward I'm begging you to shut the fuck up!" my chest was on fire, I couldn't breath because I was so angry.

"Why…you don't won't everybody to know that you let your nanny pop your cherry" A war cry escape my lips as I tackled Edward to the floor and grabbed his face in my hands.

"I warned you"

"How did he do it, for the back or front?" I pulled his head up to my chest and slammed down hard to the floor, I repeated the action until blood started to form on my hands. I could hear screams but I was too gone to stop now.

He needs to be erase.

"Bella your killing him!" I heard someone scream as I smiled…..that's was the plan, arms were around me and pulled off of an unconscious bloody Edward, I pushed who ever it was away from me and my eyes caught Alice's.

"Bella" her voice was so soft and scared, I glared at her and looked at my bloody hands.

"Now you see who the real Bella is" my voice was nothing compared to my normal voice, this voice was so low and dangerous that it even scared me. Police officers started to swarm in and pulled out their guns, I wiped the blood from my hands on my shirt and watched Charlie come running into the school.

"Bella Put your hand on your head for me" he said as I smiled.

"Are you going to arrest your niece Charlie?"

"Do as I say Bella…please" I shook my head.

"Fuck you"

"Bella"

"I bet that's what you want to do uh…fuck me right! Your no different than they were, a innocent little girl I was" I shook my head at the memories.

"Bella I love you, I would nev-

"He said the same thing, and yet he still did it….out of fucking love" I punch the locker making a rather large dent, Charlie yelled for his men to hold as he walked over to me.

"Don't come near me Charlie" I warned him.

"Bella….let me help you"

"I don't' need help, I'm so far away" I told him as he took another step closer as I punched the lockers again.

"You are my family and I love family" I quickly kicked him in his knee as he buckled and I grabbed his gun from it hoister and aimed it at my head.

Alice screamed.

"Where were you when he hurt me" I looked down at Charlie who was crying.

"I didn't know Bella; if I did I would have saved you"

"Your lying!" I cocked the gun as he flinched, I saw Alice fall to the ground and I dropped the gun ran to her, but before I could get to her I felt a surge of electricity grip my body in a hug, as I felt my body shake as the pussy ass police officer turned it up another notch trying to get me to fall but I was still standing shaking as I finally felt my eyes roll.

_Alice._

_You said you wanted to save me….well this is your chance._

**A/N: That was unexplainable…..far the most intense chapter I have ever written.**

**Will Alice finally save Bella?**

**Until next time.**

**Review.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

"She's waking up!" now what the fuck did I do? All I remembered was kicking the shit of out Edward's ass, letting my tired eyes open and getting accustom to the bright ass lights that was beaming down on me from the ceiling, I could see that I was in a hospital and was laying in one of those hard ass beds they thought was comfortable.

"Bella" her voice was right in my ear as I clear my vision and saw Alice face, her eyes were puffy and red….she been crying.

"Alice" my voice sounded so horse, I tried to reach up and touch my sore neck but, I felt my wrist was in constraints. I quickly look down and saw thick black straps around my wrist as the chain connected with the bed bars; I quickly felt rage well inside me.

They fucking strapped me down like some fucking experiment monkey.

"Get me out of these fucking chains!" I yelled as Charlie came running into the room as Emmett pulled Alice away from me, Carlisle and Charlie both held my shoulders down as I trashed against the bed.

"Let me out!"

"I can't do that Bella….it's too dangerous"

"Please! Let me out…I'll do anything you wants just please not the chains" I felt myself being sucked into another awful memory when Henry put me in chains.

I felt my chest tighten and my breath becoming short.

Is this what having a panic attack feels like?

"Dad! Please get her out of the chains…she having flashbacks!" Alice yelled as Charlie cursed, and quickly started to turn me loose when Carlisle stops him.

"She's too dangerous; she will hurt someone if we let her loose"

"You making it sound like she's some fucking wild dog" Charlie snapped as totally agree with him, I was a dog…..a very viscous dog who didn't care who it bit. My strength was draining as I fought against the chains, I wanted out.

I'm sorry.

"Please Charlie" I let tears fall from my eyes.

"I will be good girl…..please just get me out of the chains" my voice was so soft and broken, one thing that scared the shit out of Bella Swan was fucking being tied up and bound from protecting myself.

"Alice" I cried out as she pushes from Emmett who tried to grab her again and ran to me, only to be stopped by her Father.

"Alice don't"

"Move Daddy! She needs me" she struggled in Carlisle arms as I felt my rage rise as I saw his arms tighten around her.

"Let her go!" I roared at Carlisle, and pulled at the leather belts around my wrist….every time I pulled; it tightens but, I was not worried about that at the moment.

"Emmett get her out of here" When I saw Emmett pick her up by her waist and threw her on his shoulders I fucking flipped.

"Stupid mother fucker!" I could feel the belt slicing through my skin, as Alice screamed for Emmett to put her down….three nurses and another doctor came running into the room.

"Bella if you don't calm down, I will have to sedate you"

"Go head…..I don't get a fuck! All you want is to get me weak and helpless like they did" I spat at him.

"No one here wants to hurt you" he spoke calm and loving as I conquered up enough spit and chucked it right into is eye as Charlie gasp.

"Fuck you" he calmly wiped the spit from his face off with a little handkerchief that was in breast pocket and looked at me.

"That was uncalled for Bella" Charlie said glaring at me as Carlisle spoke.

"That's alright….are you done with your tantrum yet?"

"Get me out of these fucking chains!"

"Not until you are calm" I took two short breaths and smiled.

"Look calm…..NOW GET ME OUT!" The nurse came over with one huge ass needle as I quickly closed my mouth.

"Okay…Okay! I'm clam" I told them looking at the needle, Carlisle gave the needle back to the nurse and smiled at me, fucker!

"Bella have you been taking your medicine?"

"Yes"

"Not just every other day" I rolled my eyes at him.

"Yes"

"I want to know what happen today" he asked sitting down with Charlie, I didn't want to get into this with Alice by my side when I told this.

"Before you get anything out of me…I want Alice in here with me" Carlisle was quickly to say no but he saw my and Charlie face and signed.

"Look…I know my daughter has fallen for you and I'm not to trill about it but, if she can see some good in you then I can to. But I won't just sit here and let you hurt her, do you understand me" I looked him right into his eye.

"I tried telling her that, but she's is stubborn and I can't change her mind…and don't want to, I found myself fallen for her as well and I will try not to hurt her but I can't make any promises. She's in too deep and you or anyone else can 't tell her other wise when it concerns me, she see me as some type of broken angel that need their wings fix and she wants to be my savior…who am I to deny her that" Carlisle knew I was right and went out to get Alice as Charlie cleared his throat.

"I called your parents"

"I already guess that…but I don't know why thou, they don't' give a shit about me"

"That's not true, my Si-

"Your Sister is a fucking black hearted cunt that only care about is her husband's dick and money" he glared at me.

"Don't speak about your Mother that way" I scoffed.

"Trust me, she called me worse"

"Do they know?"

"On some level I know my Mother knew and didn't say anything about it but who knows…..her and Henry might have been working together to hurt me. All those long trips leaving me with him for days on end, she's capable of doing something like that. Before he could respond Alice came as a blur through the door and crush herself to me, her cries were like daggers to my chest.

"Alice stop crying"

"I can't" Charlie and Carlisle knew they were intruding on my intimate moment and walked out, I wanted to put my arms around but I couldn't because of these stupid ass leather belts.

"Alice untied me" I looked at her as she sniffed and looked me wide eyed.

"I….I can't do that Bella, I'll get in-

"Don't worry about it, I'll protect you" she was still hesitant as I gave a breath of irritation.

"I don't know Bella" I glared at her.

"You're just like the rest of them!" I spat at her as she shook her head and hugged me.

"No! I'm not….I want to help you" she cried into my shoulders as I shook her off of me with all the strength I had.

"Then get me the fuck out of here, we can run away some where" she looked so heartbroken.

"Bella that's the medicine talking, you don't' mean that" I let my eye go soft as I leaned closer to her as she closed her eyes when my lips touch hers, her body started to shiver as a whimper escape her lips.

"Alice…please baby get me out of these chains, I want to put my arms around you" I was the most biggest manipulating dick in the whole fucking universe as she nodded still dazed from the kiss and reached for the chains.

"You really meant what you said" she asked.

"Yes…now get me out of these straps before they come back" she got my right arm out but Carlisle came storming in and yelled.

"ALICE!" She flinched away as I quickly unstrapped the left one, and jumped off the bed pushing pass both Alice and Carlisle. I ran as fast I could when I felt myself slammed into Leah, we both fell backwards to the floor…..I quickly stepped over her and ran, I could hear them yelling my name but I needed to get away from here.

"Bella please stop…..We want to help you!" Carlisle yelled as I stopped and turned around.

"I manage to get by all these years now without your help….I don't need it and I don't want it" I pushed the doors open and I heard Alice yelled my name but Carlisle held her back.

"What I said in the room was completely bullshit, go find someone who loves you and will protect you from beings like me"

"No! I want you" I step out of the door and looked her in her eyes.

_You have to do it….for her own safety._

"Well I don't' want you…..I never did" her broken face was the last thing saw when I turned around and ran away from the hospital.

Away from my past.

But like always…the past has it's way of rearing its ugly head.

**A/N: Alice's head is so fucked up…..I feel bad for her.**

**Until next time.**

**Review.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

When I was growing up, I always thought that Parents were suppose love and protect their offspring, to give their life for their flesh and blood and do anything to make sure they were full with love and care.

It must have skipped my family.

Throughout my seventeen years of living, I've only heard my parents tell me they love me like twice. No! I not joking…..only twice, at school I would see Parents huddled around congratulation their little six years olds after receiving their kindergarten diplomas. My Parents were gone on another trip to Europe as Henry was there smiling and holding a camera, those were the times I miss that Henry…the Henry that would stay up with me when I scared of the thunder storm.

But it only took a year for that Henry to disappear as devil Henry replace my Best friend.

I still don't why he did it, I might not never know why.

"Miss" I was laying across the park bench, when I suddenly heard someone speaking. I let my eyes slowly open as I saw a homeless women standing there.

"Your in my bed" her voice was scratchy and sick, it was a little chilly out here but nothing I could handle but, it look like she was about to fall over and die. Her face was dirty as well as her clothes, I never wondered much about homeless people….I always thought that every homeless person was an addict or was drunk.

But she looks like either.

"I'm sorry…I'll get up" I quickly got up but she put her hand up stopping me.

"No, I just wanted some company…not that I was lying because, that is my bed but, you can sleep on it if you want, I will just lay on the ground" I quickly got up and put my hands in my pocket.

"No….it's yours, you am I to take something that doesn't belong to me" she looked at me as I nodded as she laid down and sign coughing badly, she was sick.

"Are you sick?" she so as hell look sick, her clothes barely fit her as her cheeks were sunk in from not eating.

"Don't worry about old me; we need to worry about why a young person like you is out here along" she asked coughing as I sat down by the bench, I don't know why but I felt a pull that was telling me that I thrust this person.

"Loneliness I do not fear" I told her as she cracked an eye open and looked down at me.

"You sound like you been through a lot" I signed and lean back against the bench and folded my legs, I was really about to tell a complete stranger the evils the world has giving me.

"Yes I have, but I'm still here so that's said a lot"

"Are you homeless?" I shook my head as she nodded.

"So you have a place to go but, here you are…talking to a homeless woman"

"I feel safer here with you than where I'm from at the moment"

"Your too young for the burdens that you carry" I looked up at her confused…..how would she know?

"It's written all over face…..including the winkles in your forehead" I gave chuckle as she smiled.

"See there's a smile" I smiled wider, it felt good to smile…..even with everything that has happen; I still find a way to smile.

"You know I haven't smiled in years…I shed tears for the first time since I was thirteen" I told her as she smiled.

"I shed tears everyday…give the pain an escape route you know, grief and sorrow of a happy life"

"I never had one of those"

"One of what?

"A happy life…my life have been an a stairway from hell since I been born, it just started to get better but, I'm so scared to let anyone in that, I'm letting the person who hurt me win by being scared and helpless"

"Scared to love and be loved" I snicker bitterly.

"You sound like you know what I'm talking about" I said as she shrugged her shoulders.

"How do you think I became homeless, I never touched drugs or alcohol. I witness my Mother and four years old Brother be killed by my Father when I was fifteen, I barely got away but not away some scars and a forever present….a baby" I quickly looked down at the concrete I was sitting on and felt the tears well, it happen to her as well.

I wasn't alone.

"I didn't know what to do, I couldn't go back home…..he was still there, so I just started to sleep on benches outside or train stations"

"What happen with the baby?" I asked as she wiped her eyes, I felt bad for even bringing it up.

"She was beautiful, seven pounds and five ounces. She had brown curly hair….like yours and these big brown eyes that would sunk anybody in and the cutest nose I ever seen. I had her March; she should be turning twenty-three this year. I miss her dearly"

"I wish I had a Mother that miss me dearly" I told her as she looked at in sadness.

"Mother wasn't around uh?"

"Try both Parents never around; they thought that their money was enough love and care I needed"

"That's awful"

"I haven't gotten to awful yet….the person they trusted with their daughter was the person to hurt her deepest" I felt a tear slide down my face.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want" she quickly cough out as I shook my head, she moved over and patted the seat next to her. I quickly got up and sat down next to her, from close up I could see that she was a beautiful woman….just was fuck over by life like I was.

"You told me your story, I want to share mine…..I have been keeping this in for too long now and its starting to spill over" I gave a deep breath.

"I was rape by my male Nanny for five years" I felt my chest explode.

There it was….out in the open.

"I was seven years old when it first happen, I didn't know what was happing until it was too late, he was my best friend and I loved him with everything my little heart could. He was the ultimate Nanny; he did everything from playing tea parties with me to watching Cinderella at one in the morning. I never in a million years would have thought he would hurt me like that, years started to go by and he got comfortable and did it regularly and not once did my Parents see a change in me. It got worse when they let him move in, I thought I was going to die when I heard that…it was like a nail to my coffin" I felt her head on my shoulders as I continued to spill my deepest secretes.

"He brought other people in sometime, his friends from his other job. I was being thrown around like a fucking rag doll at the age of eleven. Eleven was the turning point, so many things happen at eleven. I manage to be diagnose with a illness call IED"

"What's that" she asked

"It's an anger disorder" she flinched and moved her head from my shoulder as I bit my lip.

I was accustom to people reaction when they find out my disorder…I wasn't disappointed when I saw her moved farther down the bench.

"I don't blame you…I have a very ugly temper and I can't control it, the medicine had help a little but, that's not really helping anymore" she looked at me closely and scooted back just a little.

"You would've hurt me long time ago" she said as I nodded.

"Back to the story?" she nodded

"Okay…where was I, ah! Yeah after I was diagnosed, I was put on twenty-four surveillance after I put Henry in a coma.

"What did you do?"

"I was more older and more wise, he thought that he could keep brain washing me but I fool his ass, I seduce him and when I had him naked and helpless I poured gas on his dick and balls and lit a match….you should've seen it, it was heaven as I watched the thing that had hurt all these year burn to crisp. After that, I never saw him again and not any a week later I had a new Nanny and thank god! It was a woman.

"Ms. Bosky was everything I wanted in a Mom, she helped me with my homework, and she sat down and actually talked to me. She did things my Mother never did, like coming to one of my school plays"

"She sounds lovely" I felt a lump in my throat.

"Yeah she was"

"What happen to her?" before I could stop myself, I harshly pulled away from her and glared down at her with deadly eyes.

"None of your fucking business!" I stood up about to walk away when I heard call out to me.

"You can't keep hiding behind your anger all the time" I turned around and yelled.

"How would you know…your fucking homeless bitch who let life kick her ass, I fought my whole life and look where that got me, here talking to a fucking homeless person" she looked like I had punch her in the stomach.

"I don't even know why I bother, your not ready to let go of the past…no one will get through to your heart if you keep holding on to the ones that broke it" that broke the camel back as the sob bust through my lungs in a angst filled sob that racked my whole body.

"I don't know how to let go….pain is all I know"

"Then learn that when pain, comes love and I know that there's some one right now that's trying to get into that brick heart of your am I right?" I couldn't help but nod.

"I might have pushed her away, I said some awful things"

"If she's serious about getting to your heart, she will take you back" she said.

"I'm too dangerous for a relationship"

"Or is a relationship is too dangerous for you? You're scared that she will open your heart and find all your darkest secrets that you tried hard to keep hidden" I looked up at her, this woman was unbelievable! She was hitting on all my fear head on, I was so scared what Alice would find when she finally get through the brick wall that surrounds my brick heart.

"The only thing I could give to you is….shed some tears; it will make you feel better"

"Tears are weakness" I quickly wiped my face as she smiled.

"Being lonely and not getting the chance to love or be love is weakness" I ran to her as she quickly put her hands up to protect her face as I wrapped my arms around her, she quickly hugged back. I didn't care if she smelled…she help me breakthrough some of my whole bricks that I put up from myself.

"Thank you" I whispered as she patted my back.

"Any time, I'm always here….I mean it" she smiled at me as I dug into my pocket and pulled out a fifty and push it at her as she gasped.

"No...No I ca-

"Please, it will make me feel better that you had money to get something to eat" I said as she slowly took it and let some tears go.

"God bless you kid"

"You too…see you later" I said as she fell back into her bench with a smiled on her face, I walked out of the park and made my way down the dark streets.

Could I really open my heart to Alice and let her see the good and bad?

_I will have to take that chance._

**A/N: It took a homeless person to get through Bella thick head. Alice will not stop until she has Bella's heart in her hands.**

**That's if Bella wants it in her hands?**

**Until next time**

**Review…**

_No one will get through to your heart if you keep holding on to the ones that broke it…._

_BloodVenomTear0816_


	11. Chapter 11

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

When I finally arrived back at the house, I knew what was going to happen when I walked through the door. It was six thirty and SuAnne was still up, Charlie must have heard the door because, he flew up and ran straight to me, I quickly got into a protective stand….in case he went ape shits.

But he did the totally opposite…..he crashed me to him in a bone crushing hug.

"Thank god! You're alright" he said worried, I didn't know what to do in this situation, was I suppose hug back? Or push him off like my head is screaming for me to do?

"Where were you all this time, I was about to get the whole police force involved to find you" he said as we walked into the living room, as I was about to sit down, I felt a little body slam into me. I looked down and saw a crying SuAnne trying to wrap her little arms around me, it hit home when I figured out why she was crying.

Because, I promise her a tea party and I wasn't here to keep that promise.

"SuAnne" she sniffed.

"I thought you weren't coming back, I thought the bad people captured you" I felt a huge hole being drill into the brick wall that was surrounding my heart at her voice.

"They might have captured me, but I fought my way out to come back to play tea party with you" I saw Sue in the kitchen watching us, as Charlie sat down in his chair with a smile on his lips at the interaction in front of him.

"Really! Did you use magic?" the three of us laughed as I nodded and picked her up.

"Yup"

"So how about that tea party?" I asked as she quickly jumped off my lap and waved her little arms in the air.

"I have to get everything in place, Teddy and Melody have been bad today so their not going to play tea party with us" she ran pass Leah and Seth as I shook my head and looked at Charlie.

"Who's Teddy and Melody?" I asked as Seth laughed.

"Her stuff animals" he replied, I looked up at him, she shrugged his shoulders…blushing a little.

"She did the puppy dog eyes on me once or twice" Sue had come from the kitchen and they all sat down around me, I knew what was coming.

"Be-

"I know"

"You know what?" I signed.

"I know that I messed up, I know that I'm not getting better…only worse and I can't keep it in control anymore" Charlie looked at me with anger.

"You took my gun and pointed it at yourself"

"I know and I-

"Sorry is not going to cut it Bella, you could have killed yourself!" he bellowed as I scoffed.

"That would have solved a lot of things" I said low but Sue heard it and gasps as Charlie stood up and walked to me.

"You are sick Bella and you need help" I looked up at him….I hate being called sick.

"I'm not fucking sick!" I yelled balling my fist; I could feel it returning again as he shook his head.

"You need help, the medicine is just making it worse…..you need to be watched over" I suddenly pushed him, as he fell back against the glass table….it shattered on impact.

"Your not having me committed, you can fucking forget about it!" I spat at him as Sue quickly ran over to him. I saw the blood before I smelled it, when he sat up and touched his stomach; I saw the blood coating his lower shirt.

Fuck!

"Shit! Charlie, I'm sorry" I tried to go to him but, he put his hands out stopping me from coming closer.

"Just go to your room" he said as Sue ran to the kitchen to get a wet towel as Seth helped him up on the couch, I took another step to try and help but was push back by Leah. It only took a spit second.

A split second to have a reflex and grab her wrist in my hand, I was about to twist the fucker until it ripped off her arm but, a cry reached my ears.

_SuAnne._

"Daddy!" she wailed as I froze.

Never have I froze right in the act of rage, her cry triggered something in me to freeze and let Leah's wrist go.

Watching her run to her Charlie, I felt horrible.

"I…" I couldn't even get any words out as I ran up the stairs to my room, I was gasping for breaths as I inhaled and out.

In and out.

I felt my lungs burn, as I quickly walked over to my closet and moved everything that was in my way of finding my box.

My black box…that held all my secrets.

I grabbed it and fell to the ground holding it tightly to my aching chest, and that's when I felt it. The box wasn't keeping the panic away like it use to, I still felt the panic creep as I squeezed tightly while tears fell out of my eyes.

Tears can be an outlet for pain.

Was that what the homeless person said to me?

Let your pain shed.

I quickly dropped the box in anger, it wasn't helping me at all as I started to stomp it until all the things fell out.

Destruction was the lover for anger.

Pacing my room floor, I didn't know what to do anymore. Was Charlie right? Should I be committed into a mental hospital? I knew I was sick but, I hate it with everything in my heart when others said it out loud.

It made it real when others notice.

"My mind is corrupt"

_**Then let me take over**_

"I have no more strength to fight anymore"

_**Then let me fight for you, they can't get through us both **_

Grabbing my hair and pulling, I was fucking talking to myself now…not like it haven't happened, I always found myself talking with no one there. The anger and rage wanted control, I fought for seven years to keep them at bay but, it was getting to the point that I didn't care anymore.

But suddenly I saw Alice's face cross my mind when I thought that.

If I do let them take over, I know that they will hurt anybody to get what they wanted….including Alice.

"Believe or not I care deeply for her"

_**You did for Julia too, and look where that got you?**_

"That was different" I rebuttable

_**Was it? There all the same, vulnerable….they wear their hearts on there sleeves**_

"I should start doing that" I thought

_**I will not stand here and watch us get our hearts broken again; I will make sure that will never happen again….even if I have to erase every person you know**_

I felt my chest tighten after that thought, would I eventually hurt everybody I know, just to keep my heart in tact? The tears started to fall again as my thoughts shouted at me.

_**Tears are for pussies. **_

_**Destruction is what we are. **_

_**And soon or later, I will get out and when I do…..everybody will pay for the pain this world had caused.**_

I crawled inside my closet and let the door slide close; my back hit the wall as I closed my eyes.

_Everybody will pay for the pain this world has caused._

_I could feel the grip loosen as the Fire in my veins lit up as the pain in my chest cease, the anger grows double as the rage just smiled in anticipation._

**A/N: No! Bella ring that shit in…..will she let the anger and rage that has been building up since the age of eleven finally out to play? I really would feel worried for Edward and Mike's lives at this point and I hope the feeling she has for Alice helps her clear her mind of revenge and let love fix everything.**

**Until next time.**

**Review.**

**Just some words that came to me when writing this chapter, this story is really emotional some times.**

_I have no worries in life, I have no limits to my love, to reach the sky, I have to dream, to dream of a better world, to dreams of love._

_Hate is a virus, which only the three simple words of __**I love you**__ can cure, many people in the world never say that often, but when that person is no longer hereon earth, they wish that they said those three letters. _

_If your heart has been broken, find someone that will take the time to stitch it back together, if you feel like there's no where else to go, run around outside in the grass with no shoes and watch as all your fears go away._

_When a woman gives her heart, it should be held with care and treated like the most fragile piece of glass known to man. _

_When a woman gives herself for the first time, she should be caressed with fingertips of softness, making her know that you are fortunate that she is giving herself to you, mold her body with yours, protect it. _

_Her body is her temple; her center is her jewel, a precious jewel that should be admired. A Woman's body should be cherish and not treated like nothing but an object for sexual activity._

_Words does hurt, hurt like a knife to the heart, people are emotional creatures and words like __**Fat or Queer or Dyke **__hurts, bullying is a crime, and can destroy a home, a family._

_Think about what you say, and learn from actions, you never know if you're going to need that person in the near future, Self-esteem is delicate, like a flower, pick at, eventually the petals will start to fall._

_At one point every person will fall down, but it's those around that should pick you back up and dust you off._

_To rise back up again, everybody needs that one person, to be there, to keep holding on, to be determine, doesn't matter how many times you fall, what matters is the many times you get back up._

_Too many people get sucked into the world's evil so quickly, suck into the negativity, sucked into the cruelty, if you reach out for help, I guarantee there will be a hand there waiting._

_Help each other, love each other._

_BloodVenomTear0816_


	12. Chapter 12

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

Two days I've been barricaded inside my room, the only thing that was on my mind was a spiky hair beauty; who's heart I crushed.

Her broken face haunted my mind along with Julia's eyes as I squeezed the air from her lungs.

I will never hurt Alice like that, but I did say that about Julia as well and looked where she is, after her Father tackled me off her, she had fallen into a coma and I haven't been to see her since. I wanted to but, my heart and head wouldn't let me, once you hurt me' it was over for you…..there was no going back.

You were dead to me.

Alice wouldn't hurt me; she was so sweet and had eyes of an Angel. I didn't want to hurt her at all but I have already done that, the boot to the face was the fist time and at the hospital. I got up and made my way to the bathroom and stripped down to take a shower, after a long hot shower I got dressed and opened the door. Cool air hit my face hard; as I walked out and looked around to if anybody was in the hallway. I made my way to SuAnne room and saw her playing with her stuff animals, what if she was angry with me that I had hurt her Father? What if she didn't want to play with me anymore?

I wouldn't blame her…I was dangerous.

"SuAnne" I called as she turned around and looked at me.

"Bella!" she jumped out of her seat and hugged me, I picked her up and hugged her close to me. It was something about this girl that had my anger turning into goo.

"I missed you" she said as I kissed her forehead.

"Me too kid" I put her down and she grabbed my hand dragging me to the small table; I was trying to figure out how I was going to sit and decided to just sit on the floor. I looked at her with a smiled as her face was lit up like a Christmas tree, I finally figured out why SuAnne made me so confused inside.

She reminded me of myself before the world dumped its cruelty on me.

She was so carefree and didn't have any worries, I was the same way. Happy that someone wanted to play tea party with me, watched my favorite cartoons, and eats jelly and peanut better sandwiches.

"Bella, this is Teddy….he like you" She said laughing as I smiled.

"Well hello Teddy" I said and we played Tea party for hours, I didn't know how much I like it as we colored almost of her coloring books and watched Cinderella like three times, when I finally looked down at my watch…it was six thirty.

"SuAnne, I have to go" she pause the movie and looked at me with broken features, I felt my heart shattered.

"No! I want to watch snow white with you please!" she said as I smiled at her.

"When I come back I will watch it with you and eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches" she stuck her pinky out and I felt the tears well in my eyes.

"_**Will you always be my best friend?" I stuck my pinky out as he smiled and hooked our pinkies together.**_

"_**Always Best friends" he said kissing my forehead.**_

I looked at SuAnne and smiled, I didn't want to cry in front of her.

"Pinky promise" I hooked my pinky with hers as she smiled and jumped up from the bed.

"Okay!" I got up and made my way to the door but stopped when she spoke.

"Bella!"

"Yes Annie?" she ran to me as I bent down and looked at her as she bit her bottom lip.

"Will you be my best friend?" I felt the rage yell as the pain consumes my body, almost paralyzing me.

"A….A" I couldn't speak, as she walked closer to me as I moved back and closed my eyes, I quickly turned around and flew down the stairs and out the door.

_I couldn't be her best friend._

_I didn't want to be like him, I couldn't do what he did to me to SuAnne._

Running to the only place I knew that could calm me down, I manage to run myself to Alice doorstep.

How the hell did I get here?

Alice could help me…she always helps me.

I knocked on the door and waited, I was so nervous to see her and see the broken look again but I needed her.

"B….Bella" Esme said letting me in as I saw they every Cullen minus Alice was sitting in the living room, Rosalie and Japer was here as well.

"What are you doing here" Edward said, he looked like road kill…his head was bandage up; I saw that I really did almost kill him.

As much as I wanted to…I couldn't hurt Alice like that.

"I'm here to se-

"Bella" I turned around and there she was, she had on some pants and a tank top that stopped at her belly button, her milky skin was making things inside me awaken.

"A…Alice" she took like two steps at a time and crashed her self to me, I held to me and buried my face in her hair, and she was shaking in my arms.

"I….thought you had ran away without me" she cried as I held her to me.

"I would never" she pulled back and grabbed my hand pulling me up the stairs; I looked back seeing her family watching us. When we got to her room, she closed the door a locked it, I sat down as she crawled into my lap and laid her head on my shoulder.

"I missed you" I signed and ran my hands in her hair.

"I missed you too, I'm so sorry for what had happen in the hospital"

"You didn't mean what you said did you?" she asked all vulnerable and shit, this girl was too sensitive and knew I had to watch what I say to her and do, because she looked like the type to go a wall.

"I was angry and didn't mean to take it out on you, but I did mean what I said about finding someone else that will love you and won't hurt you like I have been doing since I met you"

"Bella I don't' care about you hurting me, I want you" does this girl hear what was coming out of mouth?

"Alice do you hear your self! You want me so badly that you will let me hit you, just to have me near you" she jumped off my lap.

"I don't know! I'm so fucked up…" I grabbed her.

"We both are fucked up" I said as she looked up at me.

"I will endure anything just to be with you Bella" I can't believe what I was hearing, this girl was seriously fucked up in the head, but I couldn't judge.

"I don't want you to be a dangerous relationship like Alice!" I scold her; what if she had came across another girl who had a temper problem like me.

That made my blood boils in rage.

"Just with you Bella" she said and kissed me, I pulled away and step back.

"Alice…I don't do well with physical contact like that" I told her as she hugged me to her as I relaxed.

"Bella, I want you and only you"

"Why?"

"Because, I know you and you won't hurt me" we made it to the bed and laid down, she laid her head down on my chest as I ran my hand up and down her arms.

"I was so scared for you when you ran away"

"There's nothing to be scared about, I can take care of my self"

"That still doesn't stop me from worrying" I kissed her forehead, as she lend up and kiss my throat.

"Alice" I warned her but, she kept kissing my neck and jaw….and that's when I felt it.

Something different than pain.

It was so pleasurable that I sign and let my eyes closed, she moved up my body and I felt her hand on my stomach. This wasn't bad I thought as she kiss up to my lips as I flinched but quickly relaxed and let her kiss me.

"Bella" she said breathless as her hand went under my shirt and as quickly as the pleasure came it was washed away with the utter fear and pain.

"Alice!" I tried to get her to stop but, she wasn't listening as her hand made it to my breast and I freaked.

"Alice Stop!" her hand squeezed as I grabbed a hand full of her hair and yanked her backwards as I quickly glared down at her.

"You stupid Bitch! I told you to stop!" I yelled as Alice eyes shot open, they looked like they were trying to clear themselves from lust cloud around her vision.

"B…Bella! I'm so-

"Don't! I told you to stop" my voice sounded broken as I tighten my grip on her hair, as she closed I eyes in pain, I felt my chest beat in fear.

"I'm….sorry, it won't happen again" she said as I shook my head, letting her eye open I saw tears fallen.

Don't cry.

"I'm sorry" she cried as I let her hair go and hugged her me.

"'No, I'm sorry I should've grabbed your hair like that" I said as she snuggled into me as I spooned her.

"I'm sorry" I said again and felt my eyes droop; I felt her hands grabbing mines and lacing our fingers together and laying it on her stomach.

"_**I'm sorry" he whispered in my ear as I felt him pulled me to his bare chest, I cried so much that I didn't have any tears left to cry.**_

"_**I will always be sorry" he kissed my neck.**_

Kissing her neck.

"I will always be sorry" I whispered in her ear as she squeezed my hand.

**A/N: Bella is confused…she's thinks she's turning into Henry with both SuAnne and Alice but will Alice get to her before she does something stupid.**

**Until next time**

**Review.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Bella/Alice **

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

_**Opening my eyes, I saw that I was back into my old room, feeling the fear rising in my chest as tears well in my eyes, how the hell did I get back here to this hellhole? Sitting up, I notice that my hands were tied and I had tape over my mouth.**_

"_**Ah! She's awake" I knew that voice, that same voice that haunted my nightmares for the last six years.**_

"_**Bella…..look what I have!" he said with giddiness, I didn't want to look but, I suddenly heard a muffled scream and shot my head up. **_

_**Alice!**_

_**W…What the hell was she doing here?**_

"_**She's a looker Bella, I'm going to have a good time with her….we're best friends right Bella? And best friends share everything together" he said smiling as his hand disappeared in her shirt.**_

_**NO!**_

"NO! Please Not Alice!" I felt someone shaking me, as I struggled to get out of the tides, I had to save my Alice before she was tainted as well, she couldn't bare that kind of pain…I wouldn't let her.

I would bare any pain that came to her if I could.

"Bella Baby wake up" Alice!

"Alice" I call out as I felt her hand on my face and neck, I found myself slipping through the nightmare that tried to suck me into.

"I'm right here baby" I opened my eyes and saw her face hovering over mines, he didn't have her….she was mines.

All mines.

"Alice" I looked into her eyes as she smiled at me worried, I looked over her shoulder and saw her family standing there worried; well excluding Edward.

"Are you okay?" she asked as I grabbed her and cried in her neck, I fucking didn't care if I was embarrassing myself, that damn nightmare shared the shit out me.

Alice was the only thing I had to sanity.

"He can't have you" I told her as she pulled back confused as I held her in my arms tight.

"Who?" I squeezed her too hard as she whimpered and quickly spoke.

"Bella, Sweetie please loosen up a little…..your hurting me" my mind was so far gone that I didn't hear her pleas for me to let her go as I found myself being ripped away from her.

"Got Damn it Bella! Control yourself" Emmett yelled, I flinched back in fear and jumped off the bed.

"Bella you need to calm down" Carlisle said as I scanned the room for Alice, but I didn't see her anywhere.

NO!

"Alice!" I yelled on the top of my lungs, I flew over the bed and ran down the stairs screaming her name. He couldn't touch her! She was pure and innocent.

As I was.

Please God if you love me…

"Bella! What-

I push pass whoever was blocking my way from my Alice who sitting on the counter in the kitchen attending to her bruise I've cause.

Once again.

"Alice" I gave a broken wail, running to her and thrust myself between her legs and hugged her to me.

"Bella Sweetie whatever your in, please come out of it…I'm right here, Alice is right here in your arms" why was she lying to me, I've seen him touch her….he had her tied to a chair.

He had her.

"No! He had you, and I couldn't get you out…he….he-

"Shh, Bella open your eyes for me" I shook my head scared, that I was going to still be in the room tied as he touch her.

"Bella, can you feel this?" about two seconds later I felt something warm and soft hit my face, it felt so soft. I lean into it and felt my fears starting to vanish; I felt my lungs fill with air as my heart slowed down its fast beating.

"That's it Bella, come back to me" I held her to me, and finally I opened my eyes and saw a belly button.

What th-

"Bella" I looked up and saw Alice smiling down sadly at me, I buried my face back into her stomach as she sign.

"I hurt you" I said into her stomach as she ran her fingers through my hair, it was actually making me calm down.

"Doesn't matter, your okay and that's all that's matters" she said as I looked up and looked into her eyes.

"No! I've bruised your flawless skin, you are my diamond and I've bruised it" why the fuck can't I stop hurting her! Every time I turn around I'm hurting her or yelling at her.

"Bella" she push me off her and jumped down, taking my hand we made it back up to her room. We both fell on the bed and she pulled me on top of her.

"You say that your scare of physical and scared of hurting me?" I nodded as she put her hands to her sides and looked up at me.

"Then, I will not touch you….but, you have my permission to touch me. You have control of the physical, you say stop; we stop…..simple as that" I thought about it, I would be in control of everything that happens. If I didn't want her to touch me; she wouldn't but that doesn't mean I couldn't touch her….

"I don't know…"

"Bella, I want you to know that I'm yours and always will be, no one else can touch me other than you" her words made things tingle inside, I felt very sensitive between my thighs at her words.

Where the hell did that come from?

"Alice, if I do this, you can not…..I repeat you can not touch me, I don't want to hurt you but I will if you don't obey my rules. I don't like physical but, I am willing to try for you" she smiled and poke her lips out.

"What" I smiled at the little actions.

"Can I still kiss you" I laughed and leaned down capturing her lips with mines, she moaned as I sucked her bottom lip into my mouth. Her lips were like two plump melons that were devouring my lips; I pulled back and smiled at her dazed look.

"Does that answer your question?" she smirked.

"I don't know, I think I need more convincing" and for two hours, we just locked lips. I was scared to do other things, because first I didn't know what the fuck to do and two I was still fear struck about being physical with someone after what Henry did, I just couldn't see myself being that way with anybody like that…even Alice. After I finally made it back to the house, I was quickly jumped.

"Where the hell have you been?" Charlie said as I put my hands in my pockets, I knew I should've called but, I wasn't thinking.

"I'm sorry; I know I should've called"

"Where you?" I didn't want him to know that but, it came out before I could stop it.

"Alice's" his face broke into a smile but quickly turned back into a frown.

"SuAnne had been crying ever since….know anything about that?" he narrowed his eyes at me, I felt my heart break…damn that little girl had some type of power over me.

"I told her that I couldn't be her best friend"

"Why the hell would you say that!" he yelled as Sue came running from the kitchen.

"Because, the last time I was someone best friend, my innocents was taking away from me….so sorry if I'm a little hesitant" I turn on my heels as he spoke.

"Shit! Bella I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that"

"I'll accept your apology, if you accept mine…I so sorry for the table things and pushing you. I never should have done that" he came over to me and put his hand on my shoulder, but I quickly step back as it fell back to his side.

"Sorry, get forgetting"

"Look! I don't have to be the girl best friend…just be a friend, she is crushed" I looked up the stairs.

"I didn't mean to make her cry, I just froze up when she asked me…it brought back so many memories"

"Will you ever be comfortable telling me?" he asked as I shook my head.

"I don't think I'll ever be ready to tell people what happen to me" he nodded and left me on my way, I took the steps quite fast and knocked on her door.

"Mommy, the door is open" her little voice came through all scratchy.

"No…Annie it's me" I said as the door suddenly opens and I was dragged into the room, she let go of my arm and glared at me.

Seriously….she glared at me.

"Why won't you be my best friend?" she asked folded her arms to her chest and I couldn't stop the smile that came across my face.

"It's complicated"

"Well….uncomplicated" I looked at her in shocked, she was just like Leah in and out, I bent down to the floor and sat down as she copied.

"Well, I had a best friend and my best friend hurt me pretty badly"

"What did she do?"

"It was he"

"You can have a boy best friend?" how was I suppose to answer that? I never believe that a girl and boy could be friends; at one point someone was going to catch feelings.

"Yes, but not like girls can"

"How did he hurt you?"

"He broke the number one rule in all rules of being best friends"

"And that is"

"Thrust"

"What's thrust?" God this girl had questions.

"Thrust is something that is very hard to come by but, when you do give it away, you tell that person everything"

"Everything?"

"Everything…and my best friend took my thrust and use it to his advantage, he use it against me"

"That's bad" she said

"Yes it is, SuAnne…please promise me that you will be carful who you let in your heart" I told the little girl, I knew she didn't know what I was talking about but, I just needed to her to tell me from her lips.

"Okay"

"You promise" she smiled huge and stuck her pinky out.

"Pinky Promise" I hugged her to me and kissed her forehead.

"Okay, if we're not Best friends…..then what are we?"

"We're family…..that's more than a best friend could ever be" she smiled as we quickly fell into watching Snow white about four times until Sue called for dinner.

"Your ready Annie?" she jumped on my back and laughed.

"Yup!" I was about to fly down the stairs when I felt her hug me.

"I love you Bella" I felt my throat catch; she was the third person to tell me that.

"I love you too SuAnne" as we made our way down for dinner….

**A/N: Sweet….but the story is about to get crazy! Bella and Alice are going to get better but, Bella will fuck it up sooner or later.**

**Until next time.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Bella/Alice **

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

After the little episode at Alice's place, Alice started to come over more often than I would go to her house. It became our routine, our physical didn't go anywhere and I was happy but Alice was a little pushy but, stops when I told her that I would hit her if she's didn't.

These weeks that went pass, it seems like my anger was making it presents more frequently than normal. I had broke Edward fingers for touching me and I pushed Rosalie in resulting in her to hit her hit on the kitchen counter.

I was banned from coming to the Cullen's.

I didn't really care, because Alice was always at my house, playing with SuAnne and I. she felt so at home at my place and Sue and Charlie loved her to pieces, we were having steak and potatoes for dinner and Alice was coming over. I never felt so giddy before, she been here so many time but here I was freaking out. Seth voice came through the door telling me that she was here and my heart jumped in my chest.

"Alright Bella, don't fuck this up"

_**Better hope the girl don't anything stupid **_

Shaking my head, I opening the door and walked down the stairs and saw her standing there; she had on a pretty blouse and some skin tight jeans.

"Bella" her voice when she says my name made me all tingly inside, I jumped the last step and walked into her open arms, crushing my lips to hers…I heard her sign into the kiss, I pushed her closer to me as she ran her fingers through my hair pulling me even closer.

"Um….guys" I broke away from Alice who eyes were still closed and looked at Seth who was smirking standing by the kitchen door.

"Seth"

"Dinner is ready, we've been waiting for you two stop lip locking and get in here" Alice smiled and grabbed my hand, pulling us to the dinning room table, I pulled her seat out for her as she smiled and I sat down.

"So how is school you two?" Sue asked as I felt my smile fade from my face.

"Why must you bring that up, she doesn't want to talk about that…Fuck!" I said as Alice quickly started to rub my hand and kissing my jaw as I felt my anger slowly go down.

"Apologize" I looked at Alice like she had three heads.

"What?"

"Apologize, she only asked a simple question and you went all angry Bella on her"

"I'm not apologizing, if you haven't notice….I don't apologize for shit" she hiked an eye brow.

"So what you been saying to me when you hit me, are not apologies" my eyes quickly went wide as Charlie suddenly stood up angry.

"Bella! You hit the girl!" he yelled furiously as I looked up at him.

"No…I don't mean too" I stuttered.

"I should go" Alice said standing up but I grabbed her arm painfully and yanked her back to the seat.

"Your not going anywhere and you…it's none of your damn business!" I yelled at Charlie, I grabbed Alice hand and dragged her up the stairs to my room. Why that fuck did she tell them that, it was supposed to be our secret.

"Why the fuck did you do that!" I asked moving myself from her so I wouldn't do anything I would regret.

"I didn't mean for it to come out, I just wanted you to apologize" my fire eye connected with her scared ones, I wanted to punish her for ruin a perfectly dinner; but I couldn't do it. I walked over to her and raise my hand to touch her cheek as she flinched.

"I'm not going to hit you" I told her as she opened her eyes, I caressed her cheek and hugged her to me.

"I don't like hurt you for no reasons Alice, but sometimes you make me so angry and I can't stop it, I don't want you to be scared of me" I said as she nodded but I wanted to hear it.

"From your lips to my ears Alice, tell me that you are not scared of me" I let her go and looked into her eyes, I can see that fear as light as day in her eyes but she says she's not afraid of me.

Lies already.

"You're lying to me Alice" I said letting her go, as she quickly grabbed my arm, but I swiftly grabbed her wrist.

"I'm not Bella! I love you" I quickly cover my ears at the foul words that came out of her mouth; I fucking hated those words with a passion.

Too many people told me that, and hurt me.

"Don't fucking say that again" I warned her as she started to cry.

"Bella I do, I lo-

Grabbing her face in my hands, I slammed her down on the bed and squeezed her jaw tightly in my hand as she struggled to loosen the grip I had on her face, she was crying harder as I looked into her eyes.

Her scared eyes.

"And you say your not afraid, well you should be….I'm not capable of being loved, love is poison and I don't want it, so if I hear it again coming out of your mouth; I will hit you with no regrets" I threaten as she nodded, I let go of her face while the redness started to spread across her face as she touched the it and whimpered.

"I'm sorry" like a switch, I bent down and laid my head on her lap and felt the disgusted.

"No! Baby I'm sorry!" I told her as I pushed her to her back on the bed; I pushed her shirt up and planted small kisses on her stomach as she ran her fingers in my hair. I let my tongue swirl around her belly button as she moaned.

"Does that feel good?" I asked as she whimpered as I started to suck the small skin by the waist band of her jeans.

"B…Bella" I pushed my boundaries a little and went farther, pulling her shirt up some more, I saw her red bra picking out from the bottom.

"I like red" I told her as she smiled, I saw that her jaw was bruising badly….fuck! That was noticeable.

"Bella please!" I exposed her full bra and let my hand run over the cup as she arched her back; I felt my fear creep but, I quickly pushed it down.

This was her apologize.

She lift up and let me take her shirt off, she grabbed my head and crashed her lips to me, it was so quick that I had a reflex and slammed my fist against her chest.

"Alice" I warned her as she quickly cried out at the pain from her chest, I quickly started to kissed it and rub it. I looked down and saw that her stomach was littered with black and yellow bruises that I caused.

_**Well she should learn what no means**_

I know but fuck look at her!

_**She knew what she was getting into when she gave herself to us**_

I shook my head and leaned down to take her skin into my mouth and suck her collar bone, she was the sweetest nectar I have ever tasted. Her skin was so soft and creamy; I licked down to the valley of her breast and kissed between her breasts.

"I'm sorry" I whispered in her skin, as I felt my tears fall between them and I finally pulled her bra down as her nipples grace me with their attention and harness. I let my index finger an thumb touch her left nipple and start to roll them with my fingers.

"Ohh Bella!" I felt her legs wrapped around me as I stiffed as she quickly moved her legs, I let my whole hand squeeze the soft flesh. I watched as she let her self go, and let the feeling of my hand bring her to ecstasy.

"Bella please….I want your mouth on me" her voice was so lust filled that I felt my own desire erupt. I moved my hands and saw that her nipples was so hard and waiting, she arched her back when I gave the a swipe and her voice gave a loud vocal moan.

"You taste very good" I told her as I finally put the girl out of her misery and took a nipple into my mouth and twirl it around my tongue. I didn't even notice that my hips were grinding into hers as I felt my self getting lost in the feeling.

"Fuck" she said moving her hips harder against me, I moved my leg and put one between hers and grind into her as she really moaned as I covered her mouth.

"That does feel good" I whispered in her ear as I took her left nipple in my mouth and sucked while my hand squeezed and pulled at the right one.

"I c…c

"You can't what?" I asked against her breast.

"I can't hold it any longer" hold what?

"Hold what?" I asked grinding harder into her as I felt something trigger a pull in my stomach, I grabbed her hips and sucked as much breast I could in my mouth as she thrashed back and gave as many curse words that she could think of.

"Bella! I'm coming!" What?

I felt her start to shake, as she wrapped her outer leg around me and grabbed her ass in her hands, I was too enthralled in what her face looked like as she squeezed my ass tight against her.

"UHHHH" I kept sucking and bit down on it as she screamed and just like that she fell in a heap under me, her breaths was in pants as I quickly stopped my movements and pulled away from her breast.

"Are you alright! What the fuck was that" I asked as she looked up at me, her face was pure bliss and happy.

"T…That was me having an hell of a orgasm" I let my eyes wide.

"Uh?" she nodded and shifted under me and made a face, I quickly got up and saw that my leg was fucking soaked and wet.

"Sorry" I looked up at Alice.

"You peed on me?" I asked as she laughed, I wasn't fucking laughing...I was getting angry.

"No, I didn't pee on you….I just-

The door came flying open and I quickly threw myself over Alice to cover up as Leah looked at us with disgust and spoke.

"Your Mother on the phone Alice" she quickly turned back around and left, I looked own at Alice and glared.

"If you didn't pee on me, than what did you do?" I asked as she blushed.

"When a girl is aroused, she accumulates juices and well….." she let her sentence hang as I shook my head.

"I don't even want to know anymore, just get clean up I'll have some pants for you when you get out" she nodded and ran to the bathroom.

Do I do that? I never felt it before…. being aroused.

"_**God you're so wet and tight"**_

"_**Henry your hurting me!" I cried as he pushed even harder.**_

"_**Shhhh it will be over, just close your eyes and feel"**_

Closing my eyes never made the pain stop, I felt hands on me as I turned around and saw Alice hugging me from behind.

"Thank you" she said to me as I turned in her arms and kissed her.

"No….you don't have to thank me, I was just showing you how sorry I was for hurting you" I told her and kissed her bruised jaw.

"Bella, so if I can't say those words, can I say I heart you?" I felt my rage turn into goo at hearing that.

"You are so damn cute" I said as she blushed and kissed me.

"Better get to the phone before they send a search party over here" I joked as she smiled and walked away from me but stop and smiled at me.

"I heart you Bella" I gave a small smile and she walked out the room.

"_**I love you Bella" **_

**A/N: Bella is using touching and other thing you have witness in the story to apologize to Alice for hurting her, Alice so blinded by Bella and her touch that she will forgive her every time just to feel her close now that Bella made her feel what she felt. **

**They both are drowning…..**

**Until next time**

**Review.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

"Bella will you ever tell me your story one day?" Alice asked snuggling into me. Would I? I didn't really know that answer, was I ready to throw my horrific past on her shoulder to carry?

"I don't want to run you away, I kinda like you" I joked, as she sat up and looked at me.

"I want to know everything about you Bella, I want to know your favorite color and what makes you cry and makes you laugh" I looked at her.

"Want to know what makes me angry?" I asked her as she signed and shook her head lying back down, I know I was being a dick but, I really didn't want to get into that right now. All I wanted to do was lay here with her in my arms.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that"

"It's okay" I closed my eyes and cursed myself, why must this girl be so damn forgiving! She couldn't she yell or scream at me for being so mean to her.

"Why do you let me get away with so much shit?" I wanted to know

"Because, I heart you and you're the first person ever to take notice of me…well other than Mike" I sat up.

"But that still doesn't answer my question though" she sign and sat up, grabbing my hands in hers. She put our laced hands on her chest over her heart.

"Because, I never felt this way for anybody ever, you may hurt me, you may say things that make me cry but, I know that you heart me as much as I heart you. And I know you don't mean to most of the times" watching the single tear fall from her eye, I slowly reached over and caught it with my thumb before it fell to the covers.

"I do not know how to love someone" I whisper to her, she hugged me to her and kissed my forehead.

"I'll teach you" her voice was so comforting that I felt myself floating; I looked up at her and saw that the bruise on her jaw was finally disappearing. All hell broke loose when Alice went home and her family saw her face, I'm still stumped that they allow me to still be in contact with their daughter after all the things I have did to her. But I knew they couldn't change the girl mind for shit…..when Alice wanted something; she got it.

"I want to take you on a date" I said as she gasped and jumped up in excitement, it felt good to see a smile on her face rather than tears all the damn time.

"Really!" I smiled and pulled her on top of me.

"Yes, since we been together I haven't taking you anywhere"

"Being here in your arms is the best place I will ever be" she leans down and pushes her sweet lips against mines, it seems that I have gotten addicted to her lips, I couldn't stop kissing them. They were like my lifeline somehow.

"Smooth talker you are" I said smiling and flipped her over, her laugh made my heart jump in my chest.

"You have a beautiful laugh, and I'm so sorry that I haven't heard it much" she ran her fingers through my hair.

"I forgive you Bella"

"I wish you didn't" I whispered against her neck as I let my tongue make a path down her neck to her shoulder. Looking at the clock, I signed heavily.

"What's wrong?"

"I have therapy in an hour" I looked down at her as she smiled wickedly.

"A hour uh"

"Yeah" I was catching on, and raised her shirt up.

"We could do a lot of things in an hour" kissing her stomach up to the swell of her breast. After I left Alice sleeping, Charlie, Sue and I made our way to Mr. Morrison, he was my newest therapist that I agreed to see after losing my temper with SuAnne last week.

The pain I felt when I realized what I did to SuAnne was indescribable.

Alice and I had gotten into a fight and I lost it a little bit, after being escorted from the school for my behavior and assault on a student. I came home already heated and angry, SuAnne had greeted me at the door and asked to play tea party but, I wasn't feeling up to it but, she kept nagging me and before I could stop myself.

I hit her.

It only took a second for Seth to come running in and tackling me into the front door, I didn't even fight back because, I knew I deserve it and much more.

"I still don't know why I have to sit here and spill my guts to some fucker I don't know" Sue scoffed.

"You need help"

"You need a life" I shot back as Charlie clapped his hands.

"Hey…none of that, we are here to get you cure of what ever it is that's inside of you" he said as I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever you do, will not cure this…..it's apart of who I am"

'It doesn't have to be" I quickly turned around to the deep voice.

"And who are you?" he walked over to us and stuck his hand out for me shake.

"Mr. Morrison, your therapist" I cocked an eyebrow and looked at his hand.

"I advise you to put your hand down because I ain't shaking it"

"Fair enough, come! Let's get you talking" he said as I scoffed.

"Like hell you are!" I said walking into the room; it made me want to throw up. The room was this ugly ass peach color.

"So let's get to the sole of her problem" he said pulling out a pad and a pen, I walked over to the couch and laid down as Sue shook her head at me.

"So what do you want to talk about Doc?"

"Let's talk about where this rage and anger steam from and then we can take it from there" I licked my lips and closed my eyes; he wasn't getting shit from me so this hour and half was going to be boring as hell.

"Sorry can't help you there Doc, what's inside my head will stay…..inside my head"

"Is that how he brain washed you? To keep what he did to you a secret?" I lunged but, was stopped by Charlie arms around me.

"Shut the fuck up!" I yelled and pushed off Charlie.

"He made you trust him and he took that trust and use to his advantage" I could feel my self losing my cool as I felt my hand shaking.

"You don't know shit!" smacking the vase that was on the table by the couch against the wall, I watched it shattered in pieces.

"I know that he tricked not only you but your parents as well, you feel that it's their fault as well. Their fault for leaving you with him everyday…..leaving you unprotected" fuck!

That's why I hated fucking therapists; that all ways find a way to get inside your head and put your fears on blaze.

"They did leave me unprotected, I was only fucking seven years old" I said as the guy nods.

"I know, can you tell me what happen"

"Hell no! I can't reopen those cans of worms" I said standing up.

"I'm ready to go now" Sue stood up and tried to grab my hand but, I smacked it away.

"I don't need this shit! I want to go….I want Alice" my voice broke at the end as the Doc quickly started to write in the pad.

"Who is Alice?"

"Her girlfriend" I glared at Charlie.

"He didn't ask you but, yes she's my girlfriend…..the only thing that keeping from losing my fucking mind"

"How long have you guys been together?"

"Three months now"

"Wow! Do she know about-

"No"

"Why not, she seems like the type to get you through this if you put your trust in her" I flinched at the word trust.

"I stop trusting people the day my trust was use against me" I looked at him with betrayed eyes.

"So you don't trust Alice?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying….she might be my girlfriend but, that's all she is"

"Do you love her?"

"No" I felt a sharp pain erupt from my chest at the answer.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, I don't love" as Charlie spoke up.

"You told SuAnne you loved her" I rolled my eyes.

"That's different"

"How?"

"I…." I didn't know that answer, what was the difference? Yes I love SuAnne but, I knew I didn't love Alice.

I care about her but I wouldn't say I love her.

"Because, SuAnne is different"

"How so?"

"I know that she wouldn't hurt me, like Alice could or anybody else"

"So you're using SuAnne as a protective shied"

"I guess"

"Does she make you think about yourself at her age, the things that happened to you at her age?"

"Yes"

"What happen to young Bella?" he asked softly as I looked at him.

"She was force to grow up" I finally let the tear that was sitting in the corner of left eye fall down my cheek.

Young Bella was forever stuck at the age of seven.

**A/N: Awe. Poor Bella**

**Next chapter we will finally be pulling her layers back as Doc and Alice get through to her heart.**

**Until next time.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

"CHARLIE!" I screamed as loud and angry as I could, I looked everywhere and I couldn't fucking find it, I looked up and down everywhere for it but nothing.

_I couldn't fucking find my box._

Footsteps came running up the stairs as I picked up my computer desk and threw it over the bed in pure rage.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS MY BOX!" I yelled, grabbing the TV and threw it against the wall and watched it shattered right through the drywall.

"BELLA! You need to calm the hell down!" Charlie said, as I looked at him with rage in my eyes.

"GIVE ME MY FUCKING BOX BACK!" I grabbed the bed and flipped it over; I quickly looked at Leah and lung at her.

_She fucking had my box._

When I fell on top of her, I cocked my fist back and quickly crashed it to her face; her screams just fuel me more as I kept sending blows after blows to her until I felt myself being ripping off her.

"BELLA! Please calm down, I have your box!" everything stopped as I pushed myself from Charlie grip and glared at him with death.

"What?" my chest was raging, I could the sweat dripping from my face….I feel my hands twitching painfully.

"I have your Box, the Doctor sa-

He didn't have the chance to finish his sentence, as I grabbed the computer PC and gripped it in my hands….ready to throw it.

"Bella….Put the computer down" he said scared backing away out the room as I took a step toward him as Sue was tending to a crying bleeding Leah.

"Give me my fucking BOX! Before I crush this bitch face in" I pointed the PC at Sue who froze in fear and shock. I heard voices downstairs but, all I wanted was my fucking box.

_That's all._

"B...

"I'm going to count to ten, if my box does not appear in front of me I will bash her face in with this twenty pound hunk of metal" I said threaten as Charlie put his hands up, I could see Carlisle, Alice and Edward behind him.

_Alice._

"Bella what the hell are you doing?" she yelled coming closer to me as I lift the PC higher and glared at her.

"Don't come closer or I will hit you with it, tell dick over there to give me my fucking box"

"Charlie what is she talking about?" Carlisle asked as Charlie told him about what the Doctor said, I knew I should've never fucking told that Doctor Dick sucker about my box.

"Baby" I felt my eyes close at the nickname, she was trying to distract me but, it wasn't going to work.

"ONE!" I yelled as Charlie quickly took a step forward as I shook my head.

"TWO!"

"Bella come on put the damn thing down!" Carlisle said as I looked at Charlie.

"THREE!" I saw Sue try to run, but kicked her in the back as she fell on her stomach; I walked over to her and raise the PC over her head as I looked at Charlie again.

"FOUR! COME ON CHARLIE!" I yelled as Sue started to cry, Alice took another step towards me as I yelled at her.

"Get the fuck back Alice!" I warned.

"NO! You need to calm your ass down" I quickly grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and slammed her down to her knees and glared down at her.

"Stay….if you move, I will fucking beat you like you stole something" I told her and yelled.

"FIVE! CHARLIE YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO FUCK WITH ME!" I said, why was he doing this…..I just wanted my box back.

"OKAY! I will get the box…just please put the damn computer down" I shook my head.

"NO! Not until I see my box"

"SETH!" he yelled as Seth came in with my box and almost dropped the PC, then I felt a body crashed into me as we both went flying to the floor.

I looked and saw the black hair of Alice on top of me.

"You lost your damn mine!" I grabbed her neck and slammed her to her back and punched her in the stomach, her painfully cries hit my ear like a bell as I halted.

But before I could try to move…Edward's foot came crashing into my face and I felt my eyes roll in the back of my head.

/

"She is too dangerous!"

"She needs to go back to where ever she came from, she's fucking possessed with the devil" I heard Leah cry.

_None of this would have happened, if they just gave me my box._

"We need to call her parents"

"NO!" I yelled jumping from the couch I was laying on as they all jumped back, Edward jumped in front of Alice as Seth did the same for Leah.

"You need Jesus" Sue spat at me as I took a step as Alice pushed Edward out of her way and ran to me, I quickly took a step back from her and glared at her in betrayal.

"You betrayed me" I told her as she shook her head.

"N….No, I was just scared that you were going to drop the PC and hurt Sue….I couldn't let you do that Bella"

"Shut the fuck up! You were suppose to be on my side!" I yelled at her as she started to cry heavily.

"Bella Please!"

"Get the fuck out my house! NOW" I took a step towards her as Edward stepped to me.

"Do it…..I want you to and watch me beat like a man" he threaten as I laughed and pushed him.

"Don't make me laugh you fucking pussy" I spat back as I grabbed Alice arm but he quickly grabbed it and twisted it until I felt it started to crack at the pressure.

"NO! Edward STOP!" Alice yelled distracting him, as I grabbed his nuts and squeezed with all my strength. He quickly fell to his knees.

"Now its only fair if I gave you kick to the face back" I smirked as I quickly step to the side and lifted my foot until it crashed into his jaw and before he could fall I quickly kicked him with the sole of my shoe into the side of his face.

"BELLA!" I felt a body crashed into mine and then some thing cold and steel on my wrists, I looked down and saw handcuffs on my wrist.

"Nice, Charlie…handcuffs?" I said as he dug his knee into my back as I hissed in pain, I looked up and saw Alice standing there looking scared and crying.

"Ali Baby" she flinched badly at my voice as I looked at her.

"Alice let's go" Carlisle said stern as I shook my head; she looked between me and her Father. Charlie had sat me down on the couch.

"Ali please don't leave me, I heart you so much" she gasped and I watched with a heavy heart as she broke right in front of me as Edward and Carlisle yelled her name at the same time.

_She broke just like…._

_Julia._

"FUCK! Leave her alone, you have done enough!" Carlisle yelled at me, as he took a sobbing Alice away from me, as Edward looked at me while holding his jaw. He walked over to me and swung his fist to my face, Charlie grabbed him and pushed him away from me.

"Stay away from her or so help me god…..I kill you" I looked at him and smirked.

"Not before I kill you first" I know he saw the fire in my eyes, the truth behind my words, I would not hesitate to put him out of his misery.

"Just stay away from her"

"Can't do that…..she belong to me now" I told him as he glared at me.

"She's belongs to no one"

"Ask her and come back and tell me what she's says" he let out an angry breath and stormed out the house slamming the door behind him, I looked at Charlie.

"Get me out of these things"

"No, your going to stay cuffed to the couch until you think about what the fuck you did" he said getting up from his chair as they all made their way up the stairs.

"FUCK YOU ALL!" I yelled as the lights went out.

"You could have left the damn lights on" I mumbled as I let my eye closed but before I could let sleep take over I suddenly saw Henry sitting there in Charlie chair.

NO!.

"CHARLIE!" Henry stood up and walked over to me, as I shook my head.

"No! Your not real….I'm asleep" I said as Henry chuckled and move closer to me, I felt his hand ghost up my thighs as he put his hand over my mouth.

"Awe. Bella don't be afraid of me….we're best friends remember" he stood up and unbuckled his pants as I watched them fall around his ankles.

"And best friends do everything together" his hand disappeared inside his boxers as I closed my eyes, as I felt my tears fall hard down my face.

_This is not real._

"Isabella come on, we played this game before" I felt his hot skin on me, I feel him moving him self across my face.

"Come on, Bella open up" that' when I felt it.

The pressure in my chest.

It was so painful that I couldn't breath, I let my eyes open as Henry was still there standing in front of me naked from the waist down. I could see the burns everywhere on him as he spoke.

"That fire to the crotch thing hurt my feelings Bella" he pushed against my mouth as I screamed as hard and painfully as I could.

"BELLA!"

He pried my lips apart as he….

"BELLA! COME WAKE UP!"

My eye flew open as a sob busted through my chest and out of my throat; I saw Charlie and Sue looking down at me.

"Charlie" I whimpered as he quickly pulled me into arms as I clung to him and cried.

"He was here" I yelled

"No one is here Bella" I shook my head in my chest.

"He was it felt so real" I cried as Sue stood there with tears in her eyes.

"I will never let him hurt you again….I promise" I felt my eye shut without my consent, as I felt the roughness of Henry bread scratching against my face.

"_**I will never let anyone hurt you Bella….I promise"**_

**A/N: WOW! That was a crazy chapter.**

**Bella is getting out of control, will Charlie finally have her committed?**

**Will Alice be okay?**

**Until next time**

**Review.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

_**Bella you have royally screwed up….**_

This is all your fault!

_**Oh! Yeah blame it on me that was all you last night. I just sat back and watched**_

"I need to see Alice" I opened my eyes, stretching my arms over my head; I slowly got up from the bed and made my way to the bathroom.

_**Good luck with that!**_

"Fuck you" __

Today was supposed to be our first date, but that was thrown out the window last night. I don't think she even wants to see me right now after what I did yesterday. I hurt her once again.

"Bella!" I heard Charlie yelled my name, I quickly washed up and ran down stairs, when I got there I felt my heart jumped in my chest as I saw her spiky hair. Her back was to me; I swallowed the nervous lump in my throat and spoke.

"Alice" she swiftly turning around I saw that her eyes were blood shot red and had bags under them; I took a step forward as she took a step back.

"I…I just came here to see if you were okay" her voice was horse and scratchy from crying all night, I wanted to reach out and touch her but I know she wouldn't let me.

"A….Alice I am so sorry" she blinked tears and she signed, I saw Sue and the rest watching from the kitchen.

"Sorry escapes your lips far too much Bella, you do things and I don't care half of the time but…..last night can't be cured with just a simple I'm sorry"

"Please just tell what I have to do, to have you back…I'll so anything" she looked at me as I reached for her hand but, she quickly yanked it back and whimpered.

"I…I can't stay strong if keep trying to touch me Bella" her voice sounded so hurt….like she was in physically pain.

"Okay I will stop, just sit down and talk to me…please" I asked as she nodded and sat down, I quickly sat down close to her but, she gasped and flew over to the end of couch and bit her lips as tears fell out of her eyes.

"J…Just please stay down there" I put my hands up in surrender and nodded, I couldn't talk to her with all the space between us like this.

"Tell me what I need to do" I asked as Charlie and Sue came in and I looked at them.

"You need to finally open up and finally see that you are sick and need help" I flinched at the word sick as I looked at Alice with tears.

"You think I'm sick?" I saw her body jerked towards me but, she quickly grabbed the couch to stop herself from flying and comforting me.

"Y…Yes, it took last night for it to smack me in face. I was so blind by everything about you that I didn't realize that I was just feeding into your sickness rather than trying to cure you"

"Alice don't say that"

"It true, I let you bruise me just because, I knew you would apologized afterwards and I would get a glimpse of the real Bella but, last night…you really scared me to my core and I can't live like that" she looked at me.

"I can't live in fear of you snapping and hurting me far worse than you have been doing" I shook my head.

"I would neve-

"Never what? Hurt me, you already done that, and I'm getting tired of trying to save you"

"Alice what are you saying!" I felt my chest tighten.

"I'm not breaking up with you, I just need time to myself, to get myself together….you fucked me up Bella and I need to find Mary Alice Cullen again before I lose her forever" she explained with tears rolling down her face.

"I will give you your space if that's what you want" I said looking away from her, I could feel myself getting angry as I quickly closed my eyes.

"Bella" shaking my head, I didn't want her to see me crying, I felt her hand on my shoulder.

"Bella look at me" I finally cracked and looked up.

"I need to say it out loud….."

"What?"

"That you are sick and you need help" I shook my head and jumped from the couch glaring down at her, she could kiss my ass…..I wasn't about to do that.

"You could go to hell! Because I ain't saying it" she laughed and moved away for me.

"See! That right there, when I get even a pinch of the real Bella…you fucking shut down like a fucking scared bitch!" my eyes went wide as did everybody else's at her words. I never heard Alice cuss like that; hell I haven't seen her angry like this.

"Al-

"Bella, you need to come to terms with this sickness you have and do something about it, you can't keep living like this…..it's unhealthy and I'm sick of it"

"Then leave" she looked up at me, as I saw the fear behind her eyes as it crack through her façade she had on.

"Bella don't fucking temp me, I'm so close to just walking out that door and not come back" I looked at her and saw that she trying to fucking test me.

"Alice, I have been alone for most of my life, you won't be miss" I said, she stood up and walked pass me to the door as I felt the fear swell in my chest.

SHIT! She was fucking serious!

"WAIT! No fuck….okay….okay! Shit" I broke as she smiled and walked back to me, I fell back against the couch and signed.

"Say it!" she said as I felt my mouth dry up.

"I….I

Fuck why couldn't I say it.

"Come on! Bella…..say it, I. Have. A. Sickness." she said it as I looked up at her.

"I….h…h

"Come on, I'll help you" she moved to hold me to her as I quickly wrapped my arms around her neck and inhaled her smell.

"I…." she said as I copied.

"I….." my voice was so shaky.

"Have….."

"H…H...Have" I struggled as she kissed my forehead.

"A…

"A….

"Sickness" I shook my head and pulled away from her but, she pushed me on my back and grabbed my face in her hands.

"So help me god Bella, I will fucking walk right out that damn door and never look back" she threaten as I shook my head again…..I couldn't fucking do it.

"Say it! I have a sickness" she said as I looked at anything but her as she grabbed my jaw tightly in her hand, I hissed in pain.

"Don't feel good does it?" She said glaring down at me.

"I have a s….

"That it! Come on! Your all most there baby" she said letting go of my jaw.

"I have a sickness" I finally said it, the teas were falling hard as she pulled me to her arms and held me as I sobbed in her arms.

"I have a fucking sickness!" I yelled in her chest as I felt Charlie put his arms around me.

"We are here to help you Bella"

"I wasn't going anywhere" Alice said as I squeezed her to me and held on Charlie arm as they hugged me.

"We love you Bella and we want you to be healthy"

"And to do that you need to be in a facility that will help you get back healthy" Charlie said as I nodded tired.

"I will do anything just to keep Alice with me" I said as she grabbed my face.

"Bella I'm not going anywhere, I will be here for you every step of the way" she declared as I crashed my lips to hers as Charlie quickly let me go and they disappeared back into the kitchen giving us some privacy.

"I thought I lost you" I whispered against her sweet lips as, she tongue thrust glided across my bottom lip.

"You did, but my heart wouldn't let me stay away" she pushed me until my back was against the couch.

"Bella promise me that you will try at this"

"I will Alice"

"Promise me" she pulled away from me, I grabbed her by her waist and flipped us over, and I pulled her arms above her head and looked her right in the eyes.

"I promise" she smiled and leans up and kissed me as I thrust my hips into her.

"I love you so much that it hurts sometimes"

"You have my heart Alice" I whispered against her lips.

I was finally ready to give it up….

And I couldn't have chosen the perfect girl to give it to.

**A/N: About time! Bella finally admitted to her self, now what's going to happen now? Will Bella suddenly back out when the time come? Or will she woman up and take her life back?**

**Until next time**

**Review. **


	18. Chapter 18

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

**Warning! Lemon!**

"_**Bella does your Mother know I'm here?" Carrie asked giggling as I let my hands ghost across her exposed stomach.**_

"_**Nope, my Mother is somewhere in another state right now…..we are alone" she moved closer to me, I fell back on the bed and let her crawl on top of me.**_

"_**Are you sure we are alone?" I grabbed her waist in my hands and pulled her down on me.**_

"_**Yes… now stop talking and more touching" she giggled and ran her hands through my hair, while my hand racked up her back.**_

"_**Have you done this with a girl before?" I asked as she shook her head and lean down taking my bottom lip in her mouth.**_

"_**No….but that's about to change" grinding herself into me I flipped us over and grabbed her thighs in my hands, her fingers were in my hair as her tongue twirl around my ear lope.**_

"_**Bella" she moaned as I grind my hips into her, suddenly the fucking door came crashing open and I flew off Carrie.**_

"_**Bella! In the hallway now!" Looking over at the door, I saw an angry Ms. Bosky glaring me and Carrie down. **_

"_**You young lady should go home, it's almost ten o'clock" she said to Carrie who was putting her shirt back on, I shook my head as I felt myself getting angry.**_

"_**Um! Knock much" I glared at her.**_

"_**How many times have I told you….no girls after nine?" I jumped from the bed and followed Carrie out the room and down the stairs; Ms. Bosky was on our asses watching us like a creep she was.**_

"_**I'll see you at school Bella" I nodded as she lean up and place a chase kiss on my cheek and closed the door, turning around I glared at my nanny,**_

"_**What the fuck!" I yelled as she folded her arms.**_

"_**Up stairs young lady, you're grounded!" **_

"_**Like hell!" I stormed up stairs as she flowed and grabbed my arms stopping me, I flinch at the touch and yanked away from her.**_

"_**Why do you disobey me all the time Bella?" she asked as I looked at her.**_

"_**Open your fucking eyes…..YOUR NOT MY MOTHER!" I saw the hurt look that cross her face, I wanted to apologize but, I suddenly felt her hand smack me. We both stood there shocked as she gasp.**_

"_**Bella! I'm so sorry" **_

"_**Your not the first Nanny to hit me" I tried my best not to cry as she reach for me and suddenly I felt this rage to push her away from me, my hands were shaking as my heart rammed into my chest.**_

"_**Bella honey! I'm sorry!" I quickly closed my eyes at the endearment…**_

_**Honey!**_

_**Bunny!**_

"_**I love you Bunny" he whispered **_

"_**I'm sorry Honey" she said **_

_**BUNNY!**_

_**HONEY!**_

_**BUNNY!**_

"_**STOP CALLING ME BUNNY!" my hands made contact with her chest as she flew down the stairs.**_

_**NOOOO!**_

"Bella wake up!" I opened my eyes and saw that Alice was sitting up looking down at me in worry.

"Alice" she held me to her as I tried to catch my breath, I never had nightmares about Ms. Bosky before.

Why now?

"You okay baby" she asked as I nodded and kissed her, today was the day I was being committed into a hospital that will try to help me with my sickness.

I can now say sickness without flinching or wanting to tear someone head off.

"Are you nervous for today?" she asked as I shrugged my shoulders.

"Yeah…..and no"

"Why yeah first then tell why no" I signed.

"Yes, because I will be around other people with a sickness as well, and I don't know…..I don't want to hurt anybody anymore Alice"

"And no?"

"Well…because, I know I will have you here when I get out" she laughed

"You make it sound like jail" I pulled her to my lap and smiled.

"It is jail, I won't see you so I feel like I'm getting punished" she rubbed her nose against mines and spoke.

"I will visits" I pouted.

"Not the same, I won't be able to touch you and kissed you…I can't make you scream my name at night anymore" I whispered in her ear as she shivered.

"You can't but, I can…..and trust me Bella, your name will be escaping my lips at night" I closed my eyes as moan when you tongue touched my neck.

It's been a couple of weeks, and I was trying to hardest to get comfortable with Alice touching me. It was different when I was touching her…..I had the power but, throughout these weeks, I let Alice have the power for a change and I was loving it. I had slips and hit her when I felt her hand between my legs without my permission and having stop apologizing, she was getting a back bone and was not letting me get away with murder any more, if I got angry and manage to hit her…..she would hit me right back. I remember, I think it was last week or so and I was having a bad day, first off I was fucking late for school and slammed my fucking hand in the car door and on top of that Edward kept fucking throwing insults and threats at me. Alice came over and kept testing my patience and before I knew it, I had her pinned to the bed by her neck pushing her face into the covers. She surprised me and flipped us over and grabbed me by my neck and squeezed. I saw the anger in her eyes and I felt my whole body lit on fire, I couldn't help by groan at the rage in her eyes…..my own rage rise as well as the rage between my legs.

And…..well let just say, we both found an outlet for our rage.

I will always think of Alice as my first, yes Henry might have taken that away from me but, Alice was my first. It was so passionate yet angry, it was ruff yet loving, there was words being spat yet there was words of how much we loved each other. I was still on cloud nine now as she sat in my lap.

"I am going to really miss you" I whispered in her ear.

"Bella" her voice cracked as she kissed me, I slowly flipped us over as she was on her back. I quickly went to work on her clothes and my own, she moaned when my naked skin made contact with her hot skin.

"God you feel so good" I shook my head as Henry voice came floating into my head and leaned down placing a soft kiss between her breast.

"Alice you taste so good" I said against her skin of her stomach, I made my way to her thighs and sucked as much skin I could into mouth. I felt her fingers through my hair as spread her legs wider, her scent smacked me right in the face as I let my eye roll.

"You smell heavenly" I whispered to her as she gripped my hair tighter as I lean in and gave a soft kiss to the roof of her vagina, letting my mouth open, I slowly rubbing my bottom lip against her swollen clit as I let my tongue swirl the upper skin if her lips.

"Oh Fuck!" her hip grinded against me, as I held them still and continued to descend down her wet and hot opening. I cocked my head and sucked her whole pussy into my mouth and let my tongue enter her as she screamed. I was so glad that no one was here, I kept her legs spread wide and laid there making out with her fucking pussy lips, it was so similar to her lips on her face that I got a little carried away and pulled at her lips.

"FUCK! BELLA!" she buckled into me as I inserted my middle and index fingers inside of her and reached upward, my tongue was rubbing her clit in a rushed speed as she grabbed her legs with her arms and threw her head back.

"That's it baby, take it" my words make some type of vibration that crawl up her body as she let a loud long moan that damn near had me losing control.

"B…B...Bella Please" she begged as I kept my actions slow and steady, rather than just flicking my tongue over and over. I wanted her to feel me, to feel everything I was doing to her.

My let my left hand reach over her thighs and pulled her lips apart, I captured the erect nub in my mouth and twirl it around my tongue as I let my fingers drill in and out of her like a drill machine.

"Mmmm" I moan against her and that set her off as she arched her back and lift her hips, I lift with her and kept sucking on her nub like a piece of candy.

"Fucckkkkkk!" her legs started to shake uncontrollable as I moved my head side to side as fast as I could and watched her fall apart.

"BELLAAAAA!" she folded and pushed against my head away as her body jerked, I kept thrusting my fingers and rubbed her clenching walls. Watching Alice fall apart was better than any orgasms, she was beautiful when she's climaxing. I just laid there softly rubbing her now swollen lips as she jerked at the touch.

"No…too sensitive" she said with her eyes closed, I left it alone and moved up her body until I was hovering over her other lips.

"Ah! I had fun with those lips down there… but, now I want these lips up here" I said as she smiled and pulled my bottom lip in her mouth and sucked her wetness off my lips.

"Bella what about you?" I grind into her and smiled.

"Don't worry about me Ali, this was all about you" I licked down her neck and laid my head on naked breasts.

"So how was it? Was it better than the last time, I really didn't know what to do last time and I was angry but-

"Bella your rambling" she said as I looked up at her.

"Tell me" she grabbed my face in her hands and smiled this big ass smile that lit up her face and moaned.

"Bella, Its hard to believe you when you say you haven't done that before. Because, fuck! That was unbelievable…..I never came so hard before" I laid my head back down and smiled this stupid big smile.

"Good" I said kissing her right nipple as she laughed at the action and ran her fingers through my hair.

"I love you so much Bella" she whisper sleepy as I held her to me tighter.

"I heart you too" letting my eyes closed I wondered if I will ever tell her I loved her?

**A/N: Finally a lemon! Bella is being committed next chapter…..will she go or is she just fooling everybody; including Alice?**

**Until next time**

**Review.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

Today was the day…

The day I was going to leave the pain and suffering behind me and focus on my future, to focus on Alice and our relationship, I could see the pain in her eyes but, she was trying to stay strong but I could see the dried tear on her face when I woke up this morning. Everybody was walking on egg shells around me, Even Edward.

"Bella time to go" I quickly put my jacket on and grabbed my box, walking down to the living room; I quickly felt my chest tighten in anger and rage.

_What the fuck are they doing here?_

"Hell no!" I said about to walk back up the stairs, but Alice quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me down.

"Bella please, they wanted to be here" I looked at her and then at my parents and scoffed loudly as I glared at them both.

"I told you Phil, she doesn't want to see us….can we go now and leave her to her craziness" I snatched myself from Alice but was caught by Seth and Charlie.

"I'll show you crazy bitch! Why are you fucking here?" I yelled as she glared,

"Believe me, it wasn't my choice….Charlie called and told us that you were being sent to a hospital that was going to help you but, I think you're a lost cause" I looked at Charlie like he betrayed me.

"Bella, I thought that it would be a start"

"A start for what! I fucking agreed to go to this stupid ass hospital and now you pull this shit!" I yanked away from their grips and pushed Seth away from me.

"Bella Calm down and li-

"Don't tell me to calm the fuck down…YOU CALM DOWN!" I yelled at her as she signed and took a deep breath and grabbed my hands in hers.

"Bella look at me" I was breathing hard as she grabbed my face making me look at her.

"Bella, don't do this…we were on a good track, please don't let them ruin that for you…for us. Remember Bella, your doing this for us, so we can be together forever"

"But he lied to me" I said as she slowly rubbed her nose against mine and spoke.

"I know baby, and he is sorry. He was just trying to make things better bet-

"Can we fucking go, this lesbian love fest is making me want to throw up" she spat out.

_**Bella?**_

Yeah….

_**Remember when I said that I was going to ride shot gun?**_

No….you ca-

_**Too late…**_

I quickly I felt the rage consume me as I pushed Alice away from me and lunged, she didn't even see me coming at her. My fingers wrapped themselves around her and use all the strength I had and picked her up, I saw the glass table in front of me.

"BELLA! DON'T DO IT" Charlie yelled but, I was already position myself to slam her through the glass table, I felt her nails digging into my face as I dropped her hard on the table as it shattered on impact. I started to stomp her ass, my foot was connecting everywhere on her body as I bent down and grabbed her hair.

"LET ME GO!" she screamed as I punched her.

"STUPID BICTH! YOU ARE SO FUCKING DEAD TO ME!" I pushed her head against the frame of the broken table.

"BELLA STOP!"

"LET HER GO!" Bella was nowhere to be found as I grabbed her wrist that I broke before and put it under my foot and crushed that fucker until I heard every crack and shatter of her bones as her scream fuel me more.

And then they had to stop my fun…..I felt very strong arms around me, and then suddenly I felt a man's fist coming straight to my jaw.

"BELLA!" I heard yelling and thing being broken, Alice was at my side as I held my aching jaw and saw Charlie and Seth beating the fuck out of my Father.

_He fucking hit me!_

"Bella baby is you alright" I looked up at Alice and felt myself come back into my body and calmed down.

_**All Calm now…..**_

You almost fucking killed her!

_**I know, ain't that what we want?**_

No…..Yes….I don't know

_**Well when you make up your mind, she will be trying to figure out how she will suck her husband dick with no teeth**_

"Bella Are you okay?" asked Charlie as I looked up at him and nodded, my Mother and Father both limped towards the door as she turned around and spoke.

"You were never my daughter, you were just a fucking mistake I regret for life…your dead to me and I don't want anything to do with your crazy ass. Henry was right, you are fucking stupid" my whole body flinched as Charlie yelled for her to get the hell out and never come back, I was still reeling off what she said.

_Henry was right, you are fucking stupid…._

"I'm so sorry" Charlie said as I clung to Alice and let my tears fall, this day was going down the hill so far and I couldn't help but wonder what was going to happen next?

When we finally got to the place, I felt the fear actually creep through my skin; I was scared to get better.

_Scared to finally get rid of the rage and finally revealed the real Bella._

"You're going to be fine" Alice said kissing my knuckles as Charlie parked the car, everybody flied out and waited for me to get out.

_**Never going to get rid of me Bella…..it's a waste of time**_

_No it's not; I want to get better for Alice. For myself._

_**But that still doesn't mean anything, you might suppressed me but you won't get rid of me all too together….your not strong enough, you live off rage and anger; you are anger Bella**_

I don't want to be!

_**You don't have a choice…**_

"Bella are you okay?" I looked up and saw them all looking at me, I felt Alice squeeze my hand as Carlisle met us at the door and smiled.

"Well, it's good to see you Bella and I'm very proud of you for doing this" I rolled my eyes and pushed pass him as Alice pinched my side.

"Stop being a bitch" she whispered in my ear as we walked into the building and I quickly wanted to throw up and run back to the car. The place was ugly as hell; the color of peace was every fucking where.

"Pretty" Sue said as I glared at her.

"Yeah if you were fucking insane" she looked at me and smirked.

"Well your going to fit right in now won't you" she said as my eyes went wide as Charlie yelled at her, I was too shocked to say anything as Alice touched my face trying to get me focus on her. I looked at her and then at Sue who looked ashamed.

"Bella I didn't mean that" she said as I shook my head and bust up laughing.

"T…T…That was funny as hell" I laughed as she looked confused and scared that I really lost my mind.

"No one talked to me like that, you have your moments" I said as she gave a small smile as Carlisle guided us all too where I will be staying, I quickly pulled Alice in the room and closed the door and locked it.

"Open this door right now!" Carlisle yelled as I looked Alice and yelled back.

"Give us some time to say goodbye!" I step forward and pulled her lips into my own; she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me back.

"I am going to miss the fuck out of you" she whispered as I quickly pulled her shirt over her head and laid her down on the hard ass cardboard bed.

"Bella we can't"

"Yes we can, just be quite" I said as she rolled her eyes, second later both of our clothes were off as our over heated bodies rubbed and glide against on another. Moving one of my legs over hers and putting her left leg between my own, I suddenly felt her pussy rubbing against my leg and my god it felt so good.

"Bella" she whimpered and grind her hips and pussy against my leg, I quickly took her nipples in my mouth as she moaned.

"Fuck yes! Just like that" I quicken my pace and pulled her leg up as her hips went crazy, licking my way down to her overly wet vagina lips, I slowly pulled them into my mouth and let my tongue do whatever it wanted.

"FUCK!" I quickly entered two fingers and let her ride my hand until I felt her walls tighten and her juices flowing into my mouth. She quickly pushed me on my back and pulled kissed me.

"I fucking love you" she said and kissed her down to my own drench lips as she roughly bit and sucked me into her mouth as I let my eyes closed and signed. She knew I like it rough and almost painfully, so she would pull hard and bit until I was quivering around her and whimpering her name. She pulled her self up and grabbed my arms pulling me up as well.

"Open your legs wide" she orders as I did what she wanted and not a second later…I felt her pussy rubbing against mine.

"ALICE!" I moaned as she threw her head back and bit her lip, we never did this position before, it was so new and fuck did it feel good. I could feel my orgasm creping as I reached over and rubbed her swollen clit with my thumb.

"BELLA!" she screamed as she shook, igniting my own as I quickly reach down and rubbed myself as I rode out my orgasm. We both fell backwards as I cocked my head to the side and looked down at her.

"You breathing down there" I asked as she laughed and looked down at me.

"Are you?" I pulled my self up and laid on top of her, feeling my tears well I hugged her to me as I felt her to do the same.

"I will be here" she said.

"I know"

"I love you"

"I know" the tears were falling as I sniffed.

"Bella fuck!" she started to shake with sobs as I held her to me, we cried for like ten minutes until I heard a knock on the door.

"Alice…its' time to go" Seth said as we quickly put our clothes on and I turned to her and kissed her with everything in my body, I wanted her to know that I felt the same and I wanted to her to believe me.

"Alice you mean the world to me" I whispered to her

"Bella" I open the door and we walked out and saw the all the Cullen was here as well, I rolled my eyes at Edward who smiled at me.

_Stupid fucker_

"Took long enough" Leah said as Alice blushed.

"None of your damn business" I snapped at her as Alice grabbed my hand, goodbye were shared but, I wasn't doing that hugging crying shit…only Alice get to see that side of me.

"Don't do anything stupid" Seth said bumping my fist as just gave me a head nod, SuAnne came rushing to me and crushing her little body to me.

"I love you Bella" she said as I picked her up.

"I love you too SuAnne, you are my best friend and only best friend" I said as she smiled a tootles smile.

"Bella get healthy" Sue said grabbing SuAnne from me and quickly hugged me before I could react.

"Sneaky bitch" I said as she smiled.

"Be good why don't you" Charlie said patting my shoulders, and then there was one.

_Alice_

"I'm not going to say goodbye, because it's not a goodbye for me. Bella anything you need, I'm in my car and on my way. I will call; I will write and I will be here when you get out. I love you and I will always keep you in my heart" she said in tear as I grabbed her face in my hands, I know everybody was watching but, I didn't give a damn.

"Alice, if it wasn't for you….I don't know where the hell I'll be right now, in jail or dead somewhere. I know I haven't been the world best girl friend but, I am trying and I do want this to work so that's why I am here now in this place. You are my reason to get clean and to be normal, I want to love you…..and well what I'm trying to say is tha-

I closed my eyes and let the tears fall.

"What I'm trying to say is that….I fucking love you!" there it was. Her face looked shocked and in disbelief, I nodded my head and kissed her.

"Yes, I love you and I want to shout it to the fucking world" I smiled as she lung herself into my arms and kissed me.

"Bella" her voice broke as she he cried, I closed my eye and inhale her sweet scent.

"I love you" I whispered as she pulled back and smiled.

"Say it again"

"I love you"

"Again" she moaned as I smiled

"I fucking love you Alice Cullen" I said and ran my hands through her hair as we looked at each other for what seems like hours…until Leah signed and spoke.

"Someone please break them up before clothes start to flying" Alice softly laughed and pulled away from and the pain came back.

"Are we ready to go?" Charlie said as they all nodded and turned too waved at me as Carlisle stood next to me. We both watched them all walk away, my heart shattered as the door closed….as Alice disappeared from my sight.

"You really love her?"

"Yes"

"Then get better and you'll be in her arms in no time" he walked away and I was left there standing by my self.

_Could I really do this?_

**A/N: Bella is now in the hands of the doctors now….will Alice really wait for her or would a girl in the hospital catch Bella attention?**

**Until next time**

**Review.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!  
**

I've been in this hellhole for a month now and I was at the verge of beating the shit out of almost every body here, everyday I have to deal with crazy ass bitches who didn't know that no means NO!. Alice was true to her words and called and visit me every chance she got, I missed her dearly.

"Bella are you coming to movie night?" Dell asked from the table, I looked up and saw Jeremy and Kyle playing cards.

"I don't know, Alice is suppose to call and I don't want to miss her call" I said, Jeremy, Dell and Kyle was my only friends I had in here. Most of the girls in here wanted to jump bones so I didn't have any girls that were friends in here…..well except for Passion.

Now Passion was every guy or girl dreams.

She reminded me of Rosalie but more beautiful, she was tall and curvy in all the right places. Her hair fell to her ass; it was this light brownish and gold color that made every girl in here quiver with jealousy. She always kept to herself, they told me that she never talked to anybody…..but that was until I came, something about me made her open up and talk to me. The doctors were stumped as well as Carlisle who been treating the girl since she was fifteen. I didn't feel attractive to her but the girl did have an appeal, she gave out this innocent vibe to catch attention and when she got that at attention….you would found out why the girl was left alone.

_She was fucking crazy!_

It was a Saturday and we had waffles for breakfast, it was one waffle left and she and the ward bully reached for it at the same time, I knew that Passion could take care of her self but, the bully was huge and ugly….her name fit her well.

Bertha

I sat down waiting to intervene if I needed it to but, as shocked as I was as everybody else…we all watch Passion grabbed Bertha hand and shattered it with one twist.

And that's when I saw the look in her eyes, the same look I see whenever I looked into the mirror. I felt like I met someone who was dealing with the same shit I've been dealing with since forever, one night she came to my room and the rest was history, we became friends and I kept our relationship platonic…Alice meant the world to me and I was not going to mess that up for anybody.

"Have you checked on Passion lately?" Kyle asked as I looked up at him.

"Why"

"Well she came back from her session with the Doc and she looked almost sick" I quickly got up and made my way to her room, our wards were color coded. Blue meant fuckers who was depressed because daddy didn't give them what they wanted so they cut themselves to get attention, Green meant people who tried to commit Suicide and Red meant people far beyond…and yours truly was in Red as well as Passion. Walking to her door, I quietly knocked and waited for an answer. The door swung open and I felt myself being dragged into the room by my shirt.

"Hey" I said smoothing out the wrinkles in my shirt, she flopped back on her bed and pulled her hair up with her hands and signed.

"I fucking hate this place" I chuckled.

"You and me both" I sat down as she quickly laid her head down on my lap; I ran my hand through hair.

"What happened?"

"He fucking got me to talk I felt so exposed" she shivered; I rubbed her bare arms and spoke.

"Yeah, feels like your protective shield been ripped away from you and you feel like you're naked to the whole world" she lifted her head and looked at me.

"Fuck yes! That's how I feel, how are you doing that" she asked as I shrugged and smiled.

"I just got it like that" she pushed me on my back and straddled my lap, Passion never hid her feelings towards me but, she never acted on them either knowing that I had a girlfriend who I loved.

"I want to tell you all my secrets for some reason" she whispered to me.

"Just picture me as one of your pages in your diary….." I whispered as she closed her eyes.

"My secretes might scare you" she warned me as I laughed bitterly and squeezed her tighter to me.

"Trust me doll face, anything you say won't scare me" I assured her as she looked at me with that look as I felt myself succumb to it.

"Bella I've did things that would put the devil to shame" her voice was so fucking husky as I gritted my teeth, this always fucking happens…we would get into this who got the darkest past contest but neither of us would reveal.

"I highly doubt it" she moved her body slowly until her legs were on either side of my chest.

"You're sure about that….I've killed a girl like this" she whispered as I let my eyes go wide for a second but quickly smirked.

"What? She wasn't performing" I said as she moved closer until her legs were by my neck….she was fucking sitting on me, her pussy just inching from my mouth.

"You could say that….So Bella, can you use your tongue?"

_**Do it! The bitch is fucking smoking hot**_

_No! I love Alice remember her!_

_**She doesn't have to know**_

_I Can't…_

_**Your already pussy whipped! Let me take over for awhile **_

_Hell no!_

_**I let you have Alice….now let me have Passion and we're even**_

"Bella" I looked up at her and saw that her fucking shirt was gone as well as her bra.

Holy shit!

"Passion, I can't…I have a beautiful girl friend that is waiting for me outside these doors and I won't mess that up for anybody" she quickly grabbed my hands and put them on her breast.

"Not even for these" she smirked and harshly grabbed me by the neck and squeezed, I quickly flipped her off me as she lunged for me again; we both fell against the closet door breaking it. I was getting angrier by the second as she kept smirking and taunting me. I grabbed her by the hair and smashed the beck into the shattered door.

"Is this what you wanted!" I yelled and harshly grabbed her thighs in my hands.

"Fuck yes" she moaned.

"Hurt me Bella…Please! I want to feel it" she said smacking the shit out of me, I pinned her hands over her head and squeezed her jaw in my hands.

"You just pissed me off" I said as she let her eyes roll, the rage in was practically coming at how she was surrendering under us…letting us hurt her like this.

"You want me to hurt you?" I let my nose run across her neck as she racked her nails deeply along my neck and back.

"Yes…..I want blood spilled"

_**You like it**_

Fuck you!

_**Just fuck her and we both will be happy…..**_

I balled my fist up and looked down at her, she was willing and ready for the blow and I just fucking froze.

"I….I can't!" I said like a pussy as she glared at me.

"Fuck Bella…..show me why you're in here….show me your RAGE!" she punched me right in the fucking nose.

Without thinking, I punched her back and kept punching her. She grinded her hips into me and moaned at every blow. I grabbed her by the hair and dragged her to the bed and dropped her on it.

"You asked for it" I said and straddled her waist; I all but ripped her pants off and panties. She yanked at my hair as spread her legs wide, letting the palm of hand hit her pussy with such force that she screamed in pain and pleasure, in the back of head, it was telling me to stop and back away.

But the rage inside me was telling me to make her feel the pain.

"You fucking bitch, you had to test me" I growled and smack her thighs leaving a red hand mark on there as I bit her bottom lip… drawing blood.

"There's your blood"

"I want more!" she moaned as I put pressed her face in the bed and bit her neck, something inside me snapped as I felt my own arousal peak.

"Bella! Passion! Bella Alice is here!" I felt my whole body stiff.

_Alice!_

I flew off Passion like she was the devil herself and fell on my ass; she popped up on her elbows and smiled at me.

"Go to your little bitch, she might have your heart…..but I have you rage" she laughed as I quickly stumbled up and ran as fast as I could away from her. When I got to the main entrance of the hospital I saw Alice bouncing with excitement.

"Bella!" Seth said as Alice quickly turned around and smiled this beautiful smile that make my heart jump for joy.

"Bella!" She ran to me and crashed her body towards mines, I felt my tears fall hard, not because I had in my arms but because what had just transpired before she got here.

I was about to cheat on her.

I did cheat her

Didn't I?

"I missed you so much" she whispered as I closed my eyes in shame.

"Me too"

**A/N: What you think about Passion? She's the Alice to Bella's rage…..can Bella kept Passion at arms length or will she let the rage take over and risk losing Alice forever? **

**Until next time**

**Review.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

"So, how are you? Are you safe? Dad said that you had some incidents but nothing real serious" Alice said crawling in my lap as wrapped my arms around her waist.

"I'm fine Alice, nothing I couldn't handle" I replied as Kyle, Dell and Jeremy came over falling over each other to get to us, they all had this little crush on Alice since they seen her picture on my dresser….it was funny but they all knew not to step over that line.

"Bella, aren't you going to introduce us" Dell asked smiling at Alice who blushed; I rolled my eyes and spoke.

"Alice these are my friends Dell" he bowed his head and smiled at her.

"Kyle" he winked at her and put his hands in his pockets as I shook my head in laughter.

"And Jeremy" he was the only one that spoke up and shook her hand.

"It's nice to finally meet you, this one over here wouldn't stop talking about you…I swear I've heard her moan your name out at night on more than one occasion" I felt my whole face turn this deep red as I glared at Jeremy with hate as Alice laughed and hugged me to her chest.

"Awe…..don't be embarrassed, I moan your name out at night as well" she said as Dell coughed as Kyle and Jeremy mouths were open.

"Alice!"

"What, I did promise you that I will-

"Well, it was nice…..time to go to the room!" I said picking her up and throwing her over my shoulder.

"Bella! That is so rude" I put back down and frown.

"Don't worry, that was my main task when I got here…..I'll have you screaming my name soon" she said as I shivered as Alice looked closely at me and frown.

"What happen to your neck?" I felt my lungs close in on me as I struggled to breathe; Dell and Kyle looked panicky at each other as Alice rubbed the red mark on my neck.

"It's nothing, just a fight I was in"

"Doesn't look like a-

"Alice Honey!" we all turned around and saw Carlisle standing there, I gave a heavy sign in relief and let Alice go as she ran to Carlisle smiling.

"Dude, what the fuck is that? Did Passion do that" Kyle asked as I nodded.

"Stupid bitch caught me off guard"

"I suggest you try to come up with something, because here she comes…..both of them" I quickly swirled around and saw Alice walking back over as Passion came cutting the corner walking right into Alice.

"I'm so sorry" Alice said as Passion waved her off with her hand and got up, she dusted her self off and looked up at me.

"You must be Alice" Alice blushed.

"H…How?"

"Bella talks about you a lot" she smiled at me as I squirmed under her glaze as Alice turned around and smiled at me.

"Is that right"

"Yup! She's a sweetheart" Passion said walking closer to me as Alice was beaming oblivious to everything around her as Passion arm grazed my mines as she walked pass. Alice followed her and sat down; I wasn't in the mood to play this fucking game with this crazy bitch. She knew what she was doing….and I wasn't going to let her fuck what I and Alice have.

_**Too late for that**_

_No!_

_**You were seconds from fucking her in her room not too long ago**_

_I wasn't thinking! She just made me so angry!_

_**And that made your insides quiver, face it! She got you…she got us**_

_I won't let her! I love Alice _

"Bella….hello are you there?" Alice said waving her hand in my face as I shook my head.

"Uh?"

"Were you listening, I said how did you and Passion meet?" I quickly threw a glared at Passion as smiled and kept quiet.

"It wasn't anything special" I saw a flicker of hurt in her eyes but it was quickly erase and replace with a evil smirk.

"Bella is a good listener and a good kiss-

"Whoa! Look at the time! Alice you should be going….I don't want you driving so late" I said as Alice pouted her lips and wrapped her arms around me.

"But what happen to our alone time, I did come here for a reason" I pulled her from the table.

"Why don't you go my room and let me talk to the guys for a second and I'll be there in a flash" I told her as she smiled and waved at the guys.

"It was nice meeting you all, and Passion it was good to see that Bella has girl that's a friend in here" she smiled at Passion who smiled back and licked her lips.

"No problem, I'll take good care of her for you" the look in her eyes told so much as Alice smiled and disappeared down the hallway as I quickly slapped my hand down on the table….making it buckle.

"Stay away from me before I really hurt you, I'm not opposed to beating the shit out you…" she licked her lips and spoke.

"So you'll hit your precious Alice?" she taunted me as I growled.

"That scar across her eyebrow, I did that…..I'm not proud of it and that's why I'm in here, to get better but, you are not making it easy. So like I said, stay away from me before I add another dead person top my list" I looked into her eyes, our nose were touching as she blew me a kiss and laughed.

"I'll be waiting, you can't ignore me for long Bella….the rage will yarn for me and what will you do then" I grabbed her by the jaw and slammed her face into the table.

"Shit! Bella calm down!" Dell said grabbing my arm but, I had a tight grip on her face as she moaned and smiled at me.

"You feel it…..don't you?" Yes I did but, I wasn't going to act on it….I couldn't act on it.

"Passion I will say this one last time, stay away from me, I really don't want to hurt you but you leave me no choice" I let her go and walked swiftly to my room and damn near pass out at the scene.

Alice was bare naked on my bed.

_**You better not stop this one or I will kick your ass!**_

_Trust me I want this pussy!_

"Took you long enough, I thought I would have to start without you" her voice was so seductive, I quickly made my way to her and lean over as she reach upward and crashed her lips to mines.

"You don't know how long I've been waiting for this" I said as she pulled me on top of her.

"We have to be quick, my Father said I only have an hour and I can't have Seth sitting out there alone"

"Well that's suck ass…I was planning on showing you how much I've missed you" her fingers went to work on my shirt as I felt my jogging pants being pulled down my legs.

"A whole month Bella" she moaned as I ran my hands up and down her back.

"I know…" I took her hand and pinned them above her head as she arched her back. Just as I was about to lean down and attack her breast…..Passion came crashing into my mind.

_**"I want to feel it!" Passion moaned as I shook my head.**_

_**"Let me feel the rage Bella!"**_

"Make love to me Bella" I quickly looked down and saw Alice instead of Passion, my mind was playing fucking tricks on me.

"Love me" she whispered as I let her wrapped her arms around me….

/

I'm going to miss you" she whispered in my ear as I held her close.

"Me too Ali…..but just remember I am getting better for you….for us"

"I know but, it's hard" she started to cry, I hated when she did this. Cry and get all emotional on me.

"Alice you know I don't well with tears"

"I love you"

"I love you too Alice, and I will come back to you….even if I loose my way at times, I will always come back to you" she buried her face in my neck as I held her to me, from the corner of my eyes I saw Passion leaning against the door smiling at me.

"Alright Alice it's time to go" Seth said, as I bumped fist with him.

"Miss you too" I said to him as he blushed and nodded.

"Tell SuAnne that she is still my best friend" Seth laughed and hugged me.

"She'll love that" Alice hugged me again as I watched them leave, it got harder and harder to watch her disappear.

"I'm Sorry" I whispered to no one as I heard a voice speak behind me.

"What ever you do, will not change the fact that you are who you are. You might think that you're in love but, you're just fooling yourself and everybody around you. The rage inside you will never go away; Alice is just a phase and when that phase fades...…the rage will take over and when that's happens" she took a step towards me.

"You will hurt her more than you ever hurt her before…..trust me I know" she turned around and lifted her shirt up as I saw in black ink on the inside of her arm.

_In loving memory…_

_Jess_

"I'm not like you!" I yelled at her as she smiled.

"Your exactly like me, you love and adore Alice but at that the same time you want to hurt her…..am I wrong" my silence spoke volume as she grabbed my hands in hers.

"Jess was my Alice and I hurt her badly…..I just want to spare you the heartache, and of course to quench that thirst if yours as well"

"What thirst?" I asked with hate.

"That want to conflict pain….." she walked away leaving me alone in the hallway as I felt my anger rise as I swung my fist into the dry wall…

_This is not how I picture my rehab going at all!_

**A/N: Is Passion right? Is Bella just setting herself up for pain?**

**Until next time**

**Review.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

Lying here counting how many black dots was on one square of the tile on the ceiling, I heard the door suddenly open revealing my doctor.

"Well good morning Bella" her voice sounded so sweet and comforting for some reason, Mrs. Harris have been trying to get information out me since I stepped in here. I wasn't scared, I was just….a little skeptical to reveal what has happen to me to another person I didn't know. Mr. Dick face gotten me to spill every fucking thing…..leaving me wide open and vulnerable to the whole world.

That seems to be a pattern.

I was angry that I let myself to get pick open and examined and than left to pick up the pieces because, he wanted to take a fucking vacation!

"Hello Mrs. Harris" I said roughly as she smiled and sat down, she was so gorgeous but I wouldn't tell her that, she was at least my height but a little taller, she had this short bob that stopped at her neck, her hair was this blond and brownish color. But that wasn't what caught my eye; it was the scar that was running from her left ear and across her face to her bottom jaw. Some people would be frighten to look at her because it, but I thought that it showed how strong she was.

I respect her for it.

Because she doesn't let the scar, dictates her life, and for her to wear a short hair style…proves that she doesn't care what people think of her. I was always scare to wear a dress because, of the scars on my back and neck….but Alice always tell me that it's represents the struggled and pain I have survived. Most of my scars are from Henry and kids at school but, Julia will always be the main scar I would never forget. I was so lost back then….that I'm surprised that I'm still here now.

"SO what do you want to talk about today?" she asked, one thing I like about Kelly…was that she didn't act like a doctor or a therapist, she wanted to be your friend.

"Passion" she took along look at me and took her coat off, I signed and closed my eyes. Passion had made me take like a thousand steps back when I was finally taking step forwards to getting better.

"So what's going on with that?" I quickly started to pace.

"The girl is fucking delusional and I can't seems to shake her"

"What has she done since last week?" her voice was guarded.

"She keeps coming into my room at night, it was cool before she started to get all crazy on me but, now I can't keep sleeping with my eyes open all the time and I'm trying my hardest not to put my hands on her….but the rage inside me wants to, because, oblivious she get's off on that shit!"

"Have you tried talking this o-

"She doesn't want to talk…she wants to fight and spill blood" I felt my anger rise once again today as I closed my eyes and counted to ten.

"Bella sit down for a minute and relax" I did what she said and felt myself calming down and looked at her.

"What does Alice have to say about this?" I jumped up and glared at her with fire in my eyes, what the fuck!

"Alice do not know about this…..and she won't!" I all but screamed at her as she put her hands up.

"She doesn't know, Bella do you think that's fair?"

"No but, I controlled what she should know and what she can know" I said harshly as Kelly shook her head.

"What did we talk about last session" I rolled my eyes and grumbled.

"That I should start treating Alice like an equal and blah blah blah" I said as she smiled.

"Yes, and you can't have a healthily relationship if you both are not on the same page, Alice should not be just a blanket to protect you from your fears or your sole reason for getting better"

"Than what is my reason for getting better if it's not Alice?" I asked

"You"

"I'll stick to Alice being my motivator" I decided as she shook her head.

"Bella, your relying on Alice too much, she is your girlfriend not your medicine" I let my guard down for a second and spoke.

"Well that's how she makes me feel, she is my medicine I can't function right if I don't have a dose of her…face it, she is my life"

"You guys been together for four months now right?"

"Yes"

"That an awful strong feeling to have just four months in Bella" she said as I looked at her.

"What are you saying! That I'm lying! I love Alice with everything in my body"

"Do you? Or was it just because you were being put in here..Force you to say it when deep down you know that you don't really feel that way about her"

"What..Are you trying to do here?" I stuttered as she leaned over closer to me and looked me in the eyes.

"Bella I know Henry hurt you badly and when Alice said that she loved you….you panicked and pulled away right?" I nodded.

"And you didn't want to say it back because, everybody in your life who uttered those words left you or hurt you…and on some level you said you loved her finally only because, one day you will hurt her just like they hurt you"

"N….No I can't hurt her"

"You done that already Bella"

"B..But I said sorry and I told her that I l-

FUCK!

"Now you see" she said falling back in her seat as I felt my tears fall.

"Can we reschedule this session tomorrow" I looked up at her in hope, I needed to talk to Alice.

"Yes we can…..but I want you to tell me why you tolerate Passion?" I felt my throat close in.

That was a good question.

"I don't know" I really didn't have the answer to that, she grabbed my hand and we both stood up and walked to the door.

"Think about that and we will talk about that tomorrow, Bella be carful and don't let your anger guide you" I nodded and walked out but quickly turned around and spoke.

"Will you tell me how you got that scar one day?" I asked as she looked at me.

"Only if you tell me your real feeling about Passion" I was quick to shake my head but looked at her scar once again and nodded.

"Deal"

"Deal" she patted me on the back and I walked to my room and saw that my door was ajar, only one person who had the balls to welcome themselves in my room was only….Passion.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I said as I quickly walked in and felt my chest cave as I watched her caress Alice's face in my picture frame I had on my dresser.

"She is beautiful"

"What do you want Passion?" I said taking the picture from her and placing it back where it belongs.

"Bella do you think that love can conquer all?" she said as I stood at my door, I didn't want to be so close to her.

"It depends….why?" she stood up and shrugged her shoulders.

"I thought our love could but, I was so wrong"

"Pass-

"Jess was like your Alice to me, I worship the ground she walked on and love her with everything in my body…..but she was too in the closet to let our love blossom" she went over to my window and sat down on the shield.

"I didn't care about it at first but, months went by and then years and before I knew it I was getting angry all the time because, she didn't want to make our relationship public. She never attends to come out at all and I was crushed. She kept me as her dirty secret for five years….five years" her voice broke.

_**Hold her!**_

_What! Hell no!_

_**Bella, she needs a shoulder…do this for me**_

_You really do like her?_

_**No! Correction…we both do, remember I'm you**_

"Passion" I said as she looked up at me, her blue eyes held so much pain as I took some steps towards her.

"What happed to this Jess?" I asked grabbing her hand, she looked like she was about to cry.

"You….really want to know, after everything I did?" she said as I nodded and guided us to my bed, I fell on my back and opened my arms to her as she jumped in my arms faster than a speed of lighting.

"I shouldn't be doing this but, I can't help it" I whispered as she held on to me.

"You will be the first person I tell this too" she said as I looked own at her.

"Really?"

"The doctors knows what I decides to let them know and I can't let them know about Jess…..not yet" I tighten my arms around her as she spoke.

"Jess was like air to me, when she was away from me it felt like I was suffocating, she knew the affect she had on me and use it to her advantage" I flinched at that.

"I know a thing or two about being manipulated and taking advantage of" I said.

"She will always ignore me at school or when our families would get together for a diner night, but behind close doors…I was her lover, her shoulder when she cried about the fear of telling her parents about us. Our families knew that I was a lesbian earlier on and Jess was so scared"

"That's not healthy" I said as she nodded.

"I threaten to tell, if she didn't grown the balls to tell her parents and she threaten to break up with me and I quickly kept my mouth shut. I knew that if I didn't have Jess….there was no reason to live. I was far beyond loving her, I became obsessed.

"Passion" I said

"I started to get violent and insecure, I always thought that she was fucking around on me….and I could shake the feeling that she was playing me. She would always say these things that would tick my off and I would hit her, I felt so fucking horrible afterwards and she would forgive me but, at some point…things wasn't the same anymore" her arms tighten as I felt my sides scream in pain.

"It was my brother birthday and I was drunk already before the party even started, Jess knew that shit was going to hit the fan so, she stayed by my side all throughout the party. There was this ass face that kept coming to Jess, and I fucking snapped. Everybody stopped what they were doing and watched. Jess tried to pull me off the guy, when I was off she dropped to her knees and held the guy in her arms"

"Fuck!" I whispered.

"She was fucking him, I didn't know what to do but let the anger and rage inside me take over. I ran up stairs and searched for the sharpest thing I could fine and just when I was about to slice into my skin on my upper arm…Jess came busting into the room and lunged at me. We fought over the razor and so happens My Mother was running towards us, I didn't see her there and before I could stopped my hand….the razor cut her right across her face" alarms were ringing in my head….

"_**Why do you tolerate Passion?"**_

_No it couldn't be!_

"Bella" I quickly looked down and saw that she was crying.

"She made me so angry and I couldn't stopped myself…..she betrayed me and I let her threat me like shit for six years! SIX YEARS! I loved her like the most precious flower in the world and she did this to me! All I wanted to do was love her but I just end up hurting her, we fought and fought…..somehow we got on the balcony and we were so lost in hurting another that we didn't notice that we were about to fall off the fucking balcony" her voice started to catch as she looked like she was in trance.

"Take your time" I whispered letting nose ghost across her cheek as she let her eyes close.

"She fell first, but I caught her arm….I could see everyone down below screaming and yelling for me to hold her, she looked so scared and I couldn't help but wanted to protect her. But my anger and pain make my hand let go…..it looked like an accident but I knew it wasn't and my Mother knew it wasn't, we never said anything. She promises to rid me of my evils and my pain but they started to manifest right after her funeral" she pulled away from me, I was still in a daze as she smirked at me.

_I didn't like that smirk_.

"Remember when I said I killed a girl with my thighs" she said as I nodded.

"Well some months after her funeral, I started to get a little crazy, my family thought that it was because of the death of Jess but it wasn't…..it was because I lost my sole reason to be good…..I sold my soul right at that moment when I watched her fall away from me. I did every drug imaginable, I tried suicide multiple time but always my mother was there to save me…every time" she said I could see that sick Passion coming through and I quickly moved to get up but she already threw her leg over my waist trapping me in her thighs.

"I met a girl name Lena, she was so breakable and I couldn't resist…she fell right into my hands, it always felt so orgasmic when I conflict pain on someone, don't you feel that too?" she asked me as I closed my eyes and though about Alice.

"No! All I felt was remorse" I snapped

"Are you sure about that" she shifted her hips as I quickly grabbed her to stop her movements.

"Passion….don't" I warned her

"She was so afraid of me, Lena. She didn't stand a chance against me…and neither do you" she suddenly grabbed my face and fucking bit me.

She fucking bit me!

"AHHHH!" I buckled her off me but didn't get anywhere as she grabbed a hold of my ankle and pulled me off the bed, falling hard to the floor she started to kick the shit out me.

_**GET YOUR ASS UP!**_

_**THIS BITCH NEEDS TO BE TAUGHT A LESSON!**_

Swiftly, I grabbed her thighs and lifted her up and slammed her through my window…because they had bar securing the windows I kept slamming her back into the bars.

"Stupid bitch!" I pulled back and let my fist crush against her nose.

"I've gave you chances and chances and you still managed to piss me off!" I grabbed her by her shirt and threw her to the ground.

"You think your rage! Bitch you haven't seen rage!" I grabbed her ankle and was about to twist that fucker, when the door came slamming open, I quickly kicked her in the face and stomped her wrist before I felt the security haul me away….

_Stupid bitch!_

_Now how the fuck am I going to explain this fucking four inch teeth mark in my cheek!_

**A/N: Crazy! You saw the soft side of Passion but….it was gone before you could really see it, and Bella let the rage out! How will Alice get it back into its cage before Bella do something stupid?**

**And how many of you figured out that Mrs. Harris was Passion Mother?**

**Until next time**

**Review **


	23. Chapter 23

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

**Three days later…..**

"Bella" I could hear someone calling me but, I don't acknowledge them.

Someone calls my name again, this time it's a female voice.

A female voice that I fell in love with, but not even her can help me this time.

"What's wrong with her?" I heard the soothing voice again, as Alice rub the wood of the door as she silently cried.

"Why can't you let her out!" she yelled as I flinched.

"She's dangerous! And I can't have her hurting my patients" a voice I never heard before yelled at my Alice and I slammed my shoulder against the door scaring them all.

"Bella!" Alice said running to the door; I slammed into again and again as she yelled for me to stop before I hurt myself.

At this point….I couldn't feel anything but rage.

"Baby please come back to me" her voice was broken as I started to kick the door and we all heard the door shake, I kept kicking it until the screws started to fall at my feet.

"Shit! The door is loose!" someone yelled as I slammed into again and kicked it harder, the light of the outside was peeking through and I smiled an evil smile.

Passion I hope your ready….

"I'm going to fucking kill every last one of you!" I yelled through the door as I pushed and kicked, the door gave way and I quickly pushed the rest through, I saw Carlisle, Alice and Charlie and some other people I didn't know.

"Bella" Carlisle said softly as I snapped my head at him, I saw movements from the side of my right eye and lunged.

"Bella NO!" I punched the nurse who was holding the syringe in her hand; she went down hard as another nurse came at me.

"Stupid Bitch" I said colliding with the second nurse and slamming her head against the hard tile floor, I jumped up and ran to the room my rage was screaming at me to go. Making my legs go as fast they could, I sprinted down the hall. I could see people jumping up and running after me, I knew like the whole fucking hospital was following me but, I was so focus on getting to Passion…..she wanted my Rage.

She fucking got it.

Busting through her door, I quickly slammed the door closed and locked it; I pushed her dresser in front of the door and turned around…..

"Well, I thought you'll never going to come back" she said smiling, she just didn't know what shit she just gotten her self into.

_**Make it hurt! I want to hear her scream**_

_I plan on it_

I lunged for her and stripped her of her clothes first.

Second I pulled her to her knees with her hand behind her back.

"Ooooh! Kinky, I like" she said as I smiled.

"I bet you do" I grabbed her pillow and took the pillowcase and wrapped it around her wrist, tying it in a painful knot.

"You want me" I asked her running my hands down her neck as she nodded and licked her lips.

"I need to hear you!" I grabbed her hair tightly in my hands and pulled until she was looking me in my eyes.

"BELLA OPEN THIS DOOR!" her eyes flew to the door and back at me as I smiled.

"Say it! Say you want me"

"I want you" I shook my head and grabbed her nipples in my hands and pulled with all my might.

"AHHH!"

"Say Yes Miss Bella I want you" I told her as she smiled wickedly.

"Yes Miss Bella I want you" I kicked her knees apart and grabbed her face and I crashed my knee into her face. I bent down and cuffed her in my hands, stupid bitch was soaking wet.

"You like this don't you?" she nodded as the blood from her nose was leaking fast but she looked like she was in heaven.

"Fuck!" she moaned as I let my fingers flexed inside of her as she threw her back, and I quickly bit into her neck as blood filled my mouth as she screamed in pure pain.

"Shut the fuck up! You wanted it, so I'm giving it to you" I said with hate and venom laced in every word. I pushed her to her back and climb on top of her.

"I'm sorry baby, did I hurt you?" I asked kissing her wound on her neck as she tried her hardest to touch me.

"B…Bella" I lifted up and smiled at her.

"Do you have a brush?" I asked as she looked at me with a confused look and nodded her head to her dresser.

"I just want to brush your hair" I said as I heard them still trying to get through the door, I quickly … received the brush and kicked her to her stomach.

"Make it hurt" she said as I nodded.

"Passion baby spread your legs for me" she quickly did what I asked and I could see that this was making her wetter by the second. I tied her hair against the bed post and made her get on all fours, so if she moved her hair would pull painfully.

"I thou-

"What! You thought I was going brush your hair for real…..no baby girl, I'm going to give you what you've wanted since I came here." I said smacking her ass leaving a red hand print as she moaned.

"BELLA OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR NOW!" I heard Alice scream but she couldn't even stop me now.

"I told you, you messed with the wrong one and now your going to lay here and take this brush like a dick" she wriggled around in fear.

"B...Bella wait!" she yelled as I closed my eyes in pure pleasure that I finally got this bitch in fear of me.

_**Feels good doesn't it!**_

_Fuck yes!_

_**That's how it feels if you let me take control for awhile**_

_I don't know, last time I did that, Alice got that scar on her face_

_**But this is Passion, we want to hurt her **_

_I don't know…_

_**Just for a while….please**_

_Okay…_

_**Fuck yes!**_

The let my grip on the brush tightens as I fell on top of her and spread her ass cheeks.

"This is going to hurt…but you said you want it to hurt" I laughed and sucked her ear lobe into my mouth as I let the handle of the brush graze her asshole.

"B...Bella no! Not the brush please!" I pushed the brush in as she screamed; I pushed and pushed until the bristles were scratching at, I grabbed her hair and untied it from the bed post and wrapped it around my hand.

"How does it feel?" she shook her head and screamed, thrusting back and forth, I bit her ear tearing it in half as she let a blood curling scream.

"STOPPP! PLEASEEE!"

"NO! YOU WANTED IT!" I screamed and thrust harder. Blood was coating my hands but I still didn't stop, she was pushing and scratching at the bed sheets and she started to sob out. I quickly pulled the brush out and opened her mouth.

"Did you cum?" I asked laughing as she kept crying into the bloody pillow; I put the handle in her mouth and made her gag on it.

"I'm not the one to be fuck with" I whispered as I turned her around and threw the brush to the side, her face was cover in blood and tears.

"Beautiful" I whispered as she looked at me with fear.

"I'm sorry" she said as I shook my head.

"Not as sorry as you going to be" I said spreading her legs, I retied her hand to the bed with the pillowcase and started to massage her thighs and rubbing at her sore asshole.

"Does that feel better" she nodded.

"I never wanted hurt you but you made me do it, I wanted to be your friend but you kept pushing me" I heard myself say, she looked up at me.

"I'm sorry"

"Too late" I let my fist smashed against her pussy as I felt the bone there crushed against the bones in my hands. Her cries just spurs me on, I bent down and kissed it better as she whimpered.

"Now for the main event!" I said as I got up and went to her closet and found a hanger; she saw the hanger and screamed.

"NOOO! PLEASE BELLA STOP!" I got back between her legs and pulled the hanger into a straight line and left the tip of the hanger curve into a hook. She was thrashing and screaming, I heard the dresser being moved and I knew I didn't have much time and I quickly let the hook touch her bare lower lips and pushed in slowly, she went stiffed knowing that one move and it was all over.

"Don't move" I laughed as she stayed completely still, I was debating on pushing it father inside or just snatching it out…before I could decide the door was busted opened and I was being tackled.

But they didn't see that I had a hold on the hanger that was inside her and I pulled….

**A/N: Scary ass chapter! Do you think Passion got what she deserves or do you think Bella went too far? **

**Until next time **

**Review!**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: I know last chapter was a bit too much but, this fic wasn't made for laughs and giggles, it was design for gruesome images and acts…so if you can't handle it just stop reading. **

**And I'm sorry for any of you uncomfortable…I'll give you a heads up next time; because it will be a next time.**

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

She was silent but, her eyes held so much.

I can see the hurt and betrayal written all over her face, but I can't seem to feel any type of emotions or feeling about it.

"Bella" I kept my eye straight and my lips sealed.

"What on earth possessed you to do something like that!" now she's yelling, I liked when she yells. It let me see the anger in her eyes and the rage within, I know Alice has one…everyone has one but, mines so happens to be out in the open.

"Bella I know you fucking hear me! Answer me! Why did you do it?" she grabbed my face in her hands and made me look at her.

"Answer my fucking question!" I finally looked up at her and smiled, she must have not notice that Bella was long gone.

_Don't do anything stupid_

_**Don't worry… I won't**_

_I'm serious!_

_**Okay!**_

"Can you repeat that question again" I said as she frowned and hauled off smacking the shit of me, my cheek burned at the impact of her force. I sat there shocked and turn on by her violence, I was noticing how much angrier and violent Alice has gotten since she has been around me…..and I loved ever minute of it.

"ALICE!" Carlisle and Charlie shouted at the same time, I finally looked up and saw that Alice was fuming.

"Tell me why or I'm going to punch the shit out of you next" I felt myself shiver at the thought of her actually hitting me like that, yes sometimes we fight but she just pushes and yank on my clothes but never did she actually punch me…maybe a few soft slaps here and there.

"Fuck you know how much I would love that" I smirked as she lunged for me but was stopped by her Father.

"What the hell happened in here….you weren't like this before! This fucking hospital changed you!" I smiled.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" I felt myself getting angry, it felt so good.

"NO! I wanted you to heal from this fucking disease that's inside of you! Not embrace it with these fucking lunatic in here!" she screamed.

"Look why don't we all calm down and ta-

"Who the fuck are you?" I looked at a doctor who I never since here before, he narrowed his eyes at me.

"I'm the doctor who runs this place and I don't need people like you hurting my patients like you did"

"She asked for it! So I gave her what she wanted" I smiled and felt Alice's fist slam against my jaw, I quickly grabbed her wrist in a reflex and pulled her to me.

"I love it, when you get violent" I whispered in her ear, her body betrayed what she really felt about this but, her face looked murderous.

"Let me the fuck go!" she thrashed against me, but my arms were to strong for her, I let my tongue rake down her neck…I felt her shiver but, quickly as it started it was over and she pulled away from me.

"You're fucking sick!" she yelled.

"I know" I laughed.

"I can't do this anymore" the pain in my chest cracked open as I felt Bella scratching at the surface.

_OKAY…YOU HAVE YOUR FUN, NOW SWITCH!_

_**I don't think so!**_

_YOU SAID-_

_**I know what I said… but I don't want to be push in the back seat anymore, it's your turn**_

_Stupid bitch! Let me out!_

_**Sorry…can't do that, you see I'm having a ball up here!**_

_I knew I shouldn't have let you out_

_**Never thrust your rage… it will always get you in trouble**_

_But, what about Alice?_

_**Don't worry about Alice… I'll take real good care of her for you.**_

"You can't leave me" I told her as she hiked an eyebrow.

"Yes the fuck I can and I will, if you don't get your shit together" she yelled, as I chuckled and took a step towards her.

"No…No, you must didn't hear me correctly, you're not leaving me…Ever! You have no choice but to be with me and only me. Alice, your life is mines and I can whatever the fuck I want to it, that bitch kept fucking testing me and I blew up and let the rage out. She asked for it, she really did and I gave it to her just like she wanted it…..painful"

"It's officially…she's gone nuts" I heard someone say but, I couldn't pin point who it was so I didn't dwell on it much. I saw three policemen and two other doctors I didn't know as well.

"Why are they here?" I asked as Charlie signed.

"Bella what you did can be considered as rape and among other things, I have no choice but, to arrest you" I laughed, because it was funny as hell.

"You ca…No let me put it this way….you won't arrest me" I said as Alice shook her head and turned around to walk away.

"Where the hell are you going?" I spat out as she ignored me and kept walking, like a bullet, I flew to her and grabbed her arm yanking her towards me.

"Bella let me go"

"Not until we talk" I said as she pushed my hand away from her arms and pushed me.

"Leave me the fuck along Bella, this me and you are fucking over with! Do hear me! Over with….I thought I could change you but I see I can't"

"That's what you get for trying to change me into something I'm not!...this is who I am and you knew that and still got with me, so why are you being so fucking emotional about it now?" I yelled as she let her eyes go wide.

"BELLA! Open your fucking eyes….you almost killed a girl with a fucking hanger!"

"So what, that has nothing to do with us"

"I c…can't talk to you, when you're like this" she shook her head, I tried grabbing her face but, I felt metal being locked around my wrists.

"You make it sound like, I'm some fucking drug addict!"

"I wish you were a drug addict than…THIS!" I let my eyebrows clench together in a hurtful expression.

"Really?" she turned and looked at me.

"Fucking really! I can't do this, after what you just did to that girl…..I can't be with someone like that. I don't know what the hell I was thinking in the first place"

"You were thinking with your heart" I found myself saying, shaking my head…was I really getting emotional about this?

_Because you love her_

_**No, you love her!**_

_We're the same person…remember?_

"Bella, I gave you too many chances and I'm just out of chances, you need help and I can't get it to you"

"But you..

"I will always love you, the sweet Bella that I know"

"You can't leave me!" anger all seems to get back into the picture.

"I can, and I will" she backed away from me as I exploded.

"ALICE….DON'T DO THIS!"

"Goodbye" she started to turn around and walk away.

"No one says goodbye to me! NO ONE! COME BACK HERE BITCH!" I saw her shoulders flinch at my words but she kept walking.

"THIS ISN'T OVER…..UNTIL I SAY IT'S OVER! DO YOU HEAR ME!" I felt the cops' hands on me pulling me out the door as I saw Carlisle opening the door for Alice.

"NO ONE WILL LOVE YOU! YOU'RE FUCKING WEAK! I WAS ALL YOU WILL EVER GET TO LOVE" I yelled, she turned around a looked at me, I could see the tears running down her face. My heart broke but, the anger was too much for me to control.

"IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU….NO ONE WILL I PROMISE YOU THAT! YOU STUPID BITCH!" when I put in the police car, I started to go kick the seats and door. She couldn't leave me…I leave them!. The pain in my heart started to feel like a massage as my mind exploded painfully….as Bella screams bounced off the walls in my head.

_WHAT HAVE YOU'VE DONE!_

**A/N: Alice finally got the balls and dumped Bella's….or should I say Rage's crazy ass, will Bella try to get better to win Alice back or will the rage keep her locked up? Will Alice take Bella back or will she find someone else before Bella gets better?**

**Until next time**

**Review!**


	25. Chapter 25

**Alice/Bella**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

It didn't take long for Charlie to get me out of jail; I knew he wouldn't leave me in there with those crazy ass bitches for too long.

_**You're the one to talk…**_

_Shut it!_

Charlie was taking me back, I didn't have a problem with that, I did promise Alice I would try and get better. With her gone or not, I still wanted to get better, to get better for her. She might have said we were done, but I could it in her eyes that I will always hold that heart of hers.

She knows that …and I know that.

"Bella, I just want to know why?" I was wondering when he was going to speak.

"Why what, the girl made me furious and I couldn't stop, even if I wanted to. I didn't want to hurt her but, she kept fucking with me and I blew up" I did feel a little guilty but, after Rage gave me the front seat back….all I been feeling is guilt and remorse. She didn't deserve what I did, nobody does. I just hope she learned her lesson, because if she didn't than, I don't know what else to do.

"That doesn't give you the right to do what you did, it took everything I had to get you out of jail….lets hope she doesn't press charges, or your done for" I didn't think of that, but I don't see Passion doing something so pussy like. If she wanted to get back at me, she wouldn't do it like that.

"Will have to see now won't we?" I said. When we finally got back to the facility, I immediately saw Kelly, Passion Mother. She saw me and walk over, I was ready for some insults and screaming but, I was shock when she just stood there and looked at me.

"Harris"

"I know my daughter is sick, so are you. You both need help and I'm trying to do my best to cure you both of the demons that has captured your souls. You went too far Bella, you hurt my daughter. She can be over bearing but, what you did was degrading and awful. She will forever be scarred and you will forever live with guilt, I can't be anger because, your not yourself…..I know the real Bella wouldn't have done that" I frowned.

"How would you know that?" I snapped, who the hell was she to say that, I don't give a fuck if she was my doctor.

"Because, I know Bella and she's somewhere in there" she responded as I saw Charlie stick his hand out.

"Hi, I'm Charlie, Bella's Uncle" she smiled at him.

"I'm Kelly, her doctor slash therapist" I was still having argument with myself as they talked.

"Where is she now?" she turned to me.

"In the ninth ward, she's asleep now but if you want to see her you'll free to do so" I gritted my teeth, I hated when she did that shit!

"How the hell did you know I wanted to see her?" she smirked.

"Because I see the guilt all in your eyes, she will forgive you" I quickly lifted my head up and looked at her.

"I don't want her to"

"Yes you do, even after everything that's happened" I was starting to get pissed at her, I scoffed.

"Whatever, I'm going to my room" when I started to walk, I was stopped by her voice.

"Your room has been switch, they do not thrust you to live with the others patients, so they moved you to the fifth floor" my eyes went wide.

"Hell no! I can't live up there, it's practically dead up there" she shook her head.

"Well, you should've thought about that, before you did what you did. All your things has been moved already" I gritted my teeth in anger. Nobody fucking lived up on the fifth floor; I was going to be up there with boring ass security and nurses.

_Fuck my life._

**/**

The first night in my new room was scary; it was so quite and dark. I see why no one was up here, I felt like the only living thing up here at times. The security just stood there like fucking robots as the nurses where mainly down stairs where all humanity was. I just stayed in my room and looked Alice and I picture until I felt tears come and then I will cry myself to sleep. I was banned form any visitors, I was all alone.

_**That's how it should be, you can't thrust anybody!**_

_I don't want to be alone forever_

_**You came into this world alone and you will leave this world….alone!**_

_But, what about Ali-_

_**Fuck that bitch! I was wondering when she was going to cop out, she's weak and she can't handle us. We're like an ticking bomb, and she wasn't prepared for the explosion, we need someone you can take that shit and throw that shit right back at us.**_

_We're sick_

_**Better fucking believe it! And soon Alice will find out how sick we really are….no one leaves us Bella; NO ONE**_

_I know….._

Carlisle had came up and sat down for awhile, I thought that he was going to talk about my condition and shit like that, but he quickly told me that Alice has fallen into a catatonic state since the break up. I felt my heart break but, I quickly squashed that shit real quick, it was her fault. She broke up with me not the other way around. He kept trying to make feel bad but, it failed miserable. She did it to her self, I was completely fine and in love with her but, she ripped the relationship apart. But another side of me, I felt responsible and I felt sad about what she was going through. After that, I told him that it was no use for us to speak with each other anymore, I wasn't dating his daughter anymore so, there was no reason to speak. Everything was different for me, but I didn't care anymore.

I stop caring a long time ago.

"You know Passion is being released today, she should be here for medicine time at dinner" Dell told me, as the line for our first dose of medicine came around.

"And why are you telling me this for?" I said.

"Just saying" he took a step and grabbed the little white cup and a blue little white cup and walked away. I was next and quickly drowned the pills and went back to my room; I got really good at being the only person to talk to. I found out while having this alone with myself, that I am my only friend. That I am will always be the only person to be there for me and protect me, people I say are my friends are not…I've been in this shit hole for months and not one person aside from Alice and Seth came to see me. I didn't let that make me angry or sad; it just told me that I was my own best friend. I love my family, I do. I couldn't say that before but, here I was sitting on my floor as I clutched some pictures of SuAnne as she blew out her birthday candles. I missed her birthday, that tore me up inside, Sue was sending me pictures every other week of SuAnne and the family. I only kept pictures of SuAnne and Seth but threw the others away, they weren't important.

"Swan!" I quickly got up and ran to my door, who the hell was that calling me, but more importantly…..there was someone on the fifth floor beside me!

"Who wants to know?" I said, as the guy in the white doctor coat came walking over to me, I quickly put the door between us, I didn't know this fucker, he looked at me wondering why I put the door between us.

"I am a doctor" he accused, like that will make me thrust him.

"So…doctors are creep too" I spat out as he signed, I read his name tag.

"James"

"Yes" he smiled.

"Name tag" his smiled fell, ha! He thought I knew his name.

"So James…..what do you want?"

"I'm filling in for Carlisle, some family issues came up and he has to take some weeks off" my heart went into overdrive…..family issues?

"Did he say what?" I asked.

"No, but I wouldn't blame him. People around gossip too much" I found myself smiling; I let the door open up a little, because I was still weary about this fucker.

"I don't know you, so I don't thrust you…..you might me doctor but, that's all you are. You give me my meds and that's it, no talking, no touching, no nothing….got me"

"Got you" he smiled and stuck his hand out, he had to be like twenty something. A fresh one right out of college it seems.

"Well that's over with, I'll see you tomorrow in the morning bright and early for checkup" I rolled my eyes and nodded. He left as I went back to looking at my pictures as a knock hit my ears, I signed. I see now I was going to hate this new doctor already. When I opened the door, I felt my heart sink in to my stomach….

_**What the fuck!**_

What is she doing here?

**A/N: Who's at the door? Will Bella thrust James? Is Carlisle keeping something big from Bella about Alice? **

**Until next time**

**Review.**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: MCKAY: I want to thank you for pointing out that slip up with thrust and trust…lol! **

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

"What are you doing here?" I asked, as she pushed passed me and walked into my room. My first mind told me to throw her ass out but, I knew she was here for a reason.

"I was waiting for to fuck up, and you fucked up royally"

"What ever you have to say, say it quickly and get out" I told her pushing her off my bed as she landed on her ass.

"Still a heartless bitch I see" getting up and dusting her self off, I rolled my eyes and folded my arms over my chest.

"What do you want?" her face got serious and she looked at me.

"Alice is my friend and you screwed her head up"

"So"

"You been in here for months and you still the same Bella, when will you learn that your actions will determine your future…..a future alone" I laughed, who the hell was she to come in here and talked that shit to me.

"Okay…..let's get this shit straight, you never like Alice. Hell! You never liked anybody, so don't come here a play the martyr because, face it your worse than me" she glared at me.

"I don't go around and fuck people with hangers Bella! You went too far and that girl might have been an annoying bitch but that was fucked up"

"Your annoying…" I smirked at her as she shook her head.

"I thought coming here will do some good but, I see your far pass getting better" she turned on her heels.

"Who sent you?"

"Nobody, I just wanted to tell you that you drove Alice to commit suicide" I fell off the bed, my chest cracked open as all my feeling and aguish came rushing at me at once. The tears were coming fast.

"W…W...What?" I choked on my spit and tears.

"Yeah….she in bad shape, all because of you" I shook my head not believing it, my Alice she wouldn't do that.

_**What a stupid move to do…I told you, she's weak!**_

_Shut the fuck up! Oh so help my God!_

_**What you're going to do…commit suicide too?**_

"Where is she now?" I got up running to the door but, was pushed back.

"Your not going anywhere near her, she needs to heal and she can't do that with you around" she spat out as I felt like I was being stabbed by every word she said.

"Please Rosalie, I need to know if she's alright….please" I cried and fell to my knees, I was surrendering. Alice was my medicine, if I didn't have my medicine how the hell was I suppose to get better?

"Bella, you lost that privilege, when you let your rage take over" she quickly stepped back as I got up and quickly wiped my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Look! I just want to see her one time…just one time! That's all I'm asking for" she rubbed her temple.

"He said you were going to do this and he will grant you one visit and that's it….plus Alice is unresponsive anyway, so it won't hurt"

"She's unresponsive! What the fuck did she do?" I yelled as Leah shook her head.

"She took a shit load of pills from Carlisle cabinets in his studies, she wrote a letter to you but, Esme wanted to tear it up but, Carlisle wanted to keep it…if it's the only thing they will have that she wrote before she…

"Don't fucking said it!" I grabbed my hair and pulled. Fuck! Alice why?

"I need to see her!" she smirked and back away.

"Well you should've thought about that before you told her she was a weak bitch and basically telling her you would kill her" I shook my head.

"I didn-

"Yes you did, Charlie told me what you said. You told her that if couldn't have her no one could" I pushed her against the door.

"Not at her! You stupid bitch! I was referring to ever have the balls to step up to what's mines" I said as she grabbed my arms and pushed me away.

"Don't fucking touch me" I could see the fear in her eyes, she wanted to be a badass but, I could see right through her bullshit.

"Why did you come if you're not going to tell me where she is?"

"To tell you that you drove another girl to insanity"

"Get the fuck out!"

"Gladly" she quickly exited the room as I let out a cry of aguish as, I thrashed my room.

_**Take it out on someone not something!**_

_This is all your fault!_

_**Our fault but, I would love to take credit for it.**_

"Bella! Open the door" James ordered as I ignored him and kept trashing my room until everything was in pieces.

"I can't not until I see Alice! I will fucking kill myself if I don't see her!" I yelled, looking for anything that would do a large amount of damage.

"Bella! Don't' do this! I will get Carlisle on the phone okay!"

"NO! I want Alice!" I found a piece of wood from the bed that was torn off, the edges was very sharp.

_**Fuck yes! Do that shit!**_

_Shut the fuck up!_

_**Do it!**_

_Shut up!_

_**Do it Bella!**_

Letting the sharp edge if the wood pierce through my skin on my wrist and arm, I felt a surprising surge of utopia flood my body as the red liquid ran down my arm and hand. I could feel my self getting light headed, I knew I cut too deep but, I couldn't stopped. Cut after cut, the door finally swung open and James quickly snatched the weapon out if my hands.

"Damn it Bella! Stay with me!"

"A…Alice"

"I know….we will get you to her" I smiled.

"I love Alice; I didn't mean to make her cry…..I never wanted to make her cry"

"I know Bella" I started to cry as I saw darkness surrounding my pupils.

"I just wanted to love her" my voice started to slur as I finally let the blackness take over.

_**How are you useful to Alice…dead?**_

_Shit! Didn't think about that._

**Until next time**

**Review.**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N:Sorry for the mix up in chapter 26...Bella was talking to Rosalie!**

**Alice/Bella**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

Laying here in this small ass hospital bed, I couldn't get Alice out of my mind. She really tried to commit suicide; she really wanted to get away from me that bad.

Have I really lost her?

I didn't want to think about it anymore, I cried a thousands tears already and I couldn't cry anymore. My chest gave its last clinch in pain as I let the numbness surround my heart and soul, she wanted out and I can't hold her back in what she wants. But, forever will she be my medicine. James has been here for me since he got here, and I do see myself trusting him a little, it been a week and I haven't heard anything about Alice or Carlisle. Alice was a strong person, and I beat her down…until she had nothing else to be strong for. I do take full responsibly for what happened to her; she put her full trust in me and gave me her heart.

And what do I do?

I throw it to the side; like trash.

But, from the beginning…..I told her, that I will not be that person, I wasn't that person. I was not going to be there when she fell.

And fuck! She fell!

"Bella" my head shot up, I quickly sat up and tried to get my heart to slow down as the blond doctor walked into the room, and he looked so different without his white coat.

"Carlisle" he looked worn out.

"Just came to check up on you, heard about the-

"Y…Yeah" I cut him off, I didn't want to hear it come his mouth, what I did.

"You and Alice are a match made in heaven" I flinched at the roughness of his voice; he was angry and sad…and hurt.

"Carlisle, I didn't mean to…..when Rosalie told me what Alice did and she basically told me that Alice was unresponsive. I went ballistic, I couldn't live on this earth without Alice" he sat down and put his head in his hands.

"This is your entire fault, you know that right" he looked up at me.

"Y…Yes, I know that and I want to right all my wrongs, before it's too late" he shook his head.

"Rosalie was right, she's not responding at all and I'm fucking scared" I felt my throat constricted painfully.

"W…What"

"She's not responding her body is so weak" I threw the covers off me and stood up, not seeing the dresser there, my bandaged arm slammed against it as I hissed in pain.

"I need to get to her"

"You done enough Bella, I don't thi-

"I don't care what you think, she's waiting for something….she's waiting for something to live for and I think I know what it is!" I quickly started to put my clothes on and James came through the door.

"Ah! Good, you're dressed already, I was thinking we could take a stroll and talk about-

"James….that shit will have to wait, Alice needs me"

"But Bella, you are a patient and patient can not leave this facility" he said looking at Carlisle, I shook my head.

"You don't get it, I said that Alice needs me and….I'll be damn if she fucking dies on me" I saw Carlisle flinched.

"Bella, I'm your doctor and I am ordering you to-

"You're her temporary doctor….I'm her real doctor and she's coming with me" Go Carlisle! I gave James a smug look and put my boots on; I had on some black jogging pants and a black fitted shirt and to top it off…is by black combat boots.

"Bella, I thought we were going to talk" I stopped and looked at James.

"Reschedule, I'm coming back" I said in a duh voice as he turned on his heels and stormed out like an angry kid.

"That's why I don't like working with interns" I laughed and we made our way to the elevator, when we got on…..my heart stopped.

"Bella" her voice was soft…..yet strong, I felt my scars start to itch as she looked down at my bandaged arm and wrist.

"Mrs. Harris" I looked from her to Passion who was looking down at the floor, she looked skinnier than before. I cleared my voice and looked at Passion.

"Passion" she turned her head away from me as I swallowed and looked ahead, Alice was my first priority right now…..she will have to wait for that apology.

When we finally gotten to the first floor, I felt my chest give a sign in relief. That elevator ride was tense, Mrs. Harris and Carlisle tried to small talk as Passion would sneak a look at me but, turn her head when I look up at her. When the doors opened, I quickly walked off.

"So what happened….I want to know everything" we got to the garage, when I spotted his black Mercedes, I pick up my pace and we got in.

"Well….after I took her away from the hospital that day, when we got home, she went straight to room. she will stay in there for hours on end….the only time she came out was when she had to go to school but, that was far and between. Days went by and still no sign of Alice, I could hear her crying at night but that was it. Then one day, I was at work and I was beeped that my daughter was being carried in, my heart dropped in my chest. She had took all the pills in my medicine cabinet…..all of them but, luckily Edward found her just as she on her four bottle and rushed her to the hospital. My team and I tried everything but, she still slipped into a coma" I didn't even realized that I was sobbing until I felt my body shake at the painful sobs racked my body.

"I'm so fucking sorry!" He signed and put his hand on my thigh and I gasped slamming my back into the car door.

"Shit! I'm sorry, I totally forgot…please forgive me" he asked pulling his hands back in lighten speed, as I nodded and sniffed.

"Bella what I was trying to say, is that it's not your fault…relationships has its up and downs, what she did was not your fault, you didn't make her swallow those pills"

"I did! She told me that she had lost herself while being with me; I made her lose herself…her reason to live. I was her reason and when she lost me; she lost her reason"

"Well….if that's the case, you will bring her back to us….give her, a reason to come back" he said.

"But….how?" I sniffed.

"By getting better, and being there to catch her…. when she falls" the car went silent.

**A/N: Will Bella do it? Or will Rage stop her from mending things with Alice?**

**Until next time Review.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

When we arrived at the hospital, I was so fucking nervous.

"Okay, I want to warn you about Edward. He is not your number one fan and he will go off when he sees you're here"

"I don't care about his scary ass, all I want to do is see Alice" we walked into the doors and quickly went to his office where I heard voices of the Cullen's.

"Carlisle, I was wondering where you went, the nurse ca-

Esme stopped in mid sentence when her eyes landed on me, I could feel their hot glazes boring into my head.

"What the hell is she doing here!" both Edward and Rosalie yelled.

"She's are only hope" Carlisle said as Edward spoke.

"Hope for what? Killing her faster!" I snapped and pushed him into his father's desk, I felt Carlisle hand on my shoulders.

"I love Alice and I am here to help" he pushed me away from him and glared.

"It's your fault she's in there in the first fucking place!" I couldn't agree more.

"I know that and I want to help bring her back, I will leave the second she opens her eyes" that was a lie but I had to say something.

"Whatever, I think this is a waste of time, she hasn't fucking moved since she been in here" I could see the hurt and fear in his eyes.

"She will wake up…I guarantee it" he looked up at me with a pain expression.

"How do you know for sure?" I signed.

"Because, she needs me to wake her up….she's just waiting" I said and looked at Carlisle.

"Show me to her room" I asked, when I got to the front of her door, I felt myself freeze in fear…..something that doesn't happen often.

"What wrong?" Emmett asked.

"I….I'm scared" those words haven't escaped my lips since I was little.

"So you know how we all feel" I opened the door and walked in, I closed the door behind me not letting anyone in.

I needed to do this by myself.

_Here we go._

_**I still think we should turn around and go back to the hospital... she doesn't belong to us anymore**_

_No! She's still my Ali and I want her back_

_**Well, good luck with that.**_

Walking over to her bed, I saw how pale and white she looked. Her lips were as white as the fucking white sheets that were over her.

"What have you done Alice?" I whispered sitting down and grabbed her hand. Her flesh was so cold and clammy. I didn't now what to say as I looked her over.

_**Ooh! You should lift her gown up…I bet you she's not wearing anything under there**_

_Can you please shut the fuck up! I'm trying to be serious here._

_**What! Just a little peek**_

_Bye._

"Alice I don't know what to say" I started.

"I know we both promise to do better but, I broke my promise. But fuck! You didn't have to do this. You are so beautiful and smart, this isn't you….I have corrupted her mine so much" my voice cracked.

"I told you I was dangerous and you shouldn't be near me but, you had to listen to your heart rather than your head telling you….hell screaming at you to run away, but that's you. You never let anybody tell what to do; I am not getting better with you lying here not responding to the medicine that your father has giving to you Alice. I can't get better without you…..you are my reason and need you back, I need your smile to lift my dead heart, I need your encouraging words to flow over me, I need your touch and feel to know that your there for me…..I need you baby" I felt myself bust into a sob.

"I can't do this without you! Please just come back to me" I fell over her body and cried.

"I promise I will be better, I won't hit nobody anymore….I will be less angry all the time, I will always call. Please my Ali" after crying for five minute straight, I signed and pulled away wiping my eyes.

"I know you can hear me" I lean over her face and looked at her.

"I'm not going anywhere and I will be here when you feel up to waking up and stop being fucking stubborn" I said harsh but quickly soften my voice.

"Alice I'm angry because, you tried to leave me…..did you know what that did to me when I heard, I went crazy and tried to kill myself as well because a life without you is pointless….heaven can wait, because I need my angel down here with me" I heard her heart monitor started to go off and pulled back scared.

"Alice!" I whispered as nurses and doctors started to file in as I ran out and out the hospital, I couldn't stay there anymore…she was leaving me. I ran until I could run anymore, falling to my knees and hands I felt my heart give a harsh beat, it was so painful as I clutch at my chest. I felt arms around me.

"Shhh. everything will be alright" I heard Esme voice say as I clung to her, she rocked me back and forth.

"Let's get you back to the hospital" I nodded and we made our way to her car and got in, looking back at the hospital…I let one last tear fall.

**/**

Arriving back at the hospital, James was on my ass the moment I walked into the door.

"Are you alright?" he saw how red my eyes must have been.

"No" I walked away from him and made my way to my room, when I got there I saw that the door was cracked open, the anger quickly rose inside.

"We need to stop meeting like this…..it never ends well" I said as Passion stood up from my bed and walked over to me.

"I heard about Alice" I frowned, great! All my business is around the fucking hospital.

"That doesn't explain why you're in my room"

"I wanted to talk to you, when I saw you on the elevator I was scared to open my mouth but, here I am now" I walked over to my bed and took my coat off.

"Well…whatever you have to say, I don't want to hear it" I fell down on my bed and put my head in my hands.

"It hurts doesn't it?"

"Yeah"

"She will come back to you" I looked up.

"How you know" I said harsh as she shrugged her shoulders and smiled at me, that's the first time I really saw her smile.

"Because, I the love you both share is unbreakable"

"I hope so" I whispered, I looked up at her in confusion.

"Why are you being so nice to me" I had to asked.

"I know how it feels to have someone so evil within trying to take over "

"But I hurt you so much"

"Bella that wasn't you and I know that"

"For what it's worth…..I am sorry" I walked over to her and stuck my hand out for her to grab.

"I accept your apology but there's something I want to ask you" I nodded and shook her hand, she quickly let her other hand guild up my arm.

"If Alice wasn't in the picture….would you consider being with me?" what kind of fucked up question is that!

"What!"

"I just want to know….we are similar Bella and I was just wondering" I though on it.

"Y….Yeah but, Alice is in the picture and I love her with everything in my soul" I told her as she smiled.

"That's okay, I just wanted to know…see you around" she quickly left leaving me stumped.

_Why would she ask that?_

_**She think Alice won't survive and she thinks she got a chance**_

_Well she can go to hell!_

_**Hey…hey don't be so hasty, she's fucking hot and how she took that fucking brush was crazy! She's has someone like me inside her as well….what a perfect match!**_

_It's not going happen because; Alice will always be my number one._

_**God your so damn pussy whipped**_

After taking a shower, I laid down on my bed and let my mind take over. Alice has to come out of this okay…..it will be nothing at all if I cant be with her…..her most sweetest caress or her soft lips.

She was my world and I can't function without her.

Without Alice

There's no Bella.

Finally letting my eyes closed they were quickly reopened as the door of my room swung open, revealing a smiling James.

"She's awake!"

**A/N: Now that Alice is awake, what will she do now? Would Alice be the same Alice as before or would Alice has create a rage of her own while in her coma?**

**Until next time**

**Review.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

It's been a month and still I haven't gotten my ass up to go see Alice.

I wanted to so badly but, I was scared that she will dismiss my ass before I could get a foot into the door. When Carlisle called me after James told me she woke up, to say he was happy was an enormous understatement.

He was fucking shitting rainbows.

Just finishing a session with Mrs. Harris, I was actually feeling better, I haven't heard any remarks in my head as of lately. James has been over the moon with my improvement, I vowed to myself that if she had woken up that I would get better and win her back and when I heard those words of she's awake slip through James lips…..my life shifted and I knew I had to do to get her back. Now standing here outside of their house with James, I was sweating bullets.

"Bella can you please calm down before you pass out"

"I can't!" my hands were wet with sweat as my collar of my shirt was choking me, I actually put some effort in getting dress to see her, with a black tight button up and some black slacks and to top it off was a white sweater vest.

"Okay Me about to knock and leave, you need to do this on your own" James told me as I looked at him in fear.

"Hell no! You're not leaving me, what if she doesn't want to see me!" I started to panic as he grabbed my face in his hands.

"Bella….come on! Grow some balls and make her take you back. Your fucking Bella Swan!" I nodded.

"Your right! She's should be happy that I want her back" he nodded and slapped me on the back; I winced and glared at him.

"Trying to break my spine James?" he blushed.

"Sorry got carry away" I rolled my eyes and he knocked, I felt the fear come back as he ran off the porch leaving me there.

"Just stay cool and relax…you got this" I whispered, the opened and I heard a gasp, lifting my head up I saw Esme standing there.

"My god look at you!" she threw her self at me as I caught her, I never felt so much love in a hug before….it made tears well in my eyes.

"Come on…I know everyone wants to see you" I looked at her.

"Everyone" she looked at me sadly as I signed. When we walked into the living room two things happen.

One, Emmett ran to me and picked me up.

Two, Alice dropped the glass bowl out of her hands that held the salad.

"Damn look at you….you looking like you looking!" he said with laughter booming through the house, Carlisle smiled at me and hugged me when Emmett let me go.

"Good to see you Bella"

"Carlisle" I hugged him back after a moment, I was waiting for the fear to start creeping but when it didn't I smiled and hugged him tighter. The living room was silent.

"Um…Hi" I said to the rest of the them, Jasper stood up and hugged me; Rosalie surprisingly hugged me as well.

And then there was Edward.

"I don't' know why you're here but—I want to thank you" he stood up and hugged me, I was taken back.

"You brought her back to us…." He whispered in my ear, when I nodded he pulled back. My eyes landed on Alice who was still frozen in her spot. I slowly walked closer to her but not that close.

"Ali" I voice was almost a whisper but I knew she heard me because, she flinched at the nickname, and everybody had left to give us some privacy, she waited until she heard the front door shut before speaking.

"Why are you here?" I didn't let the hurt expression show on my face as I spoke.

"I wanted to see if you were okay and well" she screwed her face up and stepped over the shattered glass.

"Bella It's been a whole month….why now are you showing up" she sneered.

"Alice you know I don't have free will to leave the hospital like that" she raised her hand and shook her head.

"Look it doesn't even matter, I don't care what or why you're here so I suggest you leave before I have you removed physically"

"Alice come on! Please talk to me, I'm getting better! Can't you see that? Look at me, I'm fucking wearing a vest….I hate vests but you love them on me" she closed her eyes.

"Bella what you said to me is still fresh in my mind….and I won't just jump in your arms because, your not punching people in the face"

"Alice you know that was not me…..mentally that is"

"It was you…I don't care if there's a crazy person living in your head or your condition, you hurt me and I can't just forget that. Last time I tried I ended up in a fucking coma" I narrowed my eyes.

"Look I know I messed up but, don't stand there and blame me for that….you swallowed those pills yourself; I didn't put a gun to her head"

"Might as well! Bella I loved you so much"

"Loved" my heart broke at the pass tense she use.

"Yes….Loved, Bella I was serious when I said it was over" I took a step towards her.

"Can we talk about this" I asked as she shook her head.

"No….There's nothing else to say Bella, so leave" her voice was so cold, I felt my tears finally fall as she saw them and I saw the hurt flash in her eyes.

"Alice please, you are my reason I'm trying to get better….to love you better. Please don't let this go away…I need you" I started to beg, you know I was out of ways when I started to beg.

Fuck I hated begging.

"You can beg I you want but, it still stays the same Bella….your making a fool out of yourself, leave now while you still have some dignity" I bit my lip and quickly stood up, she had the fucking nerve to laugh.

"Wow! I never would have seen you Bella fucking Swan, the heartless bitch on her knees begging" I felt a painful pressure hit my mind as I ignored it.

"Alice, just-

"Bella can you JUST leave, there's nothing here for you anymore….go back to your crazy place you call home and stay there" she said

"Okay…I will leave but I will come back" I gave up.

"Don't waste your breath" she said sitting down on the couch.

"I will get better for you….I know your angry and hurt and I want to help you heal and bring back my Ali that I love dearly. No matter how much you try to push me away I will fight" I told her, she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah...well you better hope I don't find someone else by that time" I grabbed my head in pain and groaned as the rage inside yelled in fury, I tried my hardest to keep her back as Alice smiled at me…she was provoking me.

"A…Alice don't fucking say that" I gritted as she smiled; I saw her eyes shine with an unrecognizable look that I haven't seen in her eyes….ever.

"Say what! By the time you really are cured, that I will be fucking another"

_**Took you long enough! I should fucking give you migrant for trying to get rid of me! I told you for the millionth time Bella….YOU CAN'T GET RID OF ME!**_

_No!_

_**Yes….I'm back**_

"What's wrong Bella? Can't handle your rage" I looked up at her.

"Stop fucking testing me Alice before…"

"Before what? I would love to see before what" she pushed me into the wall.

"Not so big and bad now uh….all the time you hit me" I felt her fist collide with my jaw.

"All the time you kicked me" her foot smashed into my ribs as I fell backwards.

"Shit!" I yelled at the pain

_**Get your punk ass up! And kill that bitch!**_

_No I can't_

_**If you won't then step aside and let me teach her a fucking lesson!**_

Before I could argue, I felt myself drifting into a coma state while she kept fucking kicking me as the rage took over….since the last time with Passion.

"Stupid bitch you want to play!" I flew up and tackled her into the living room glass table.

"You fucked up now" I grabbed her hair and smashed the back of her head into the wooden floor; I could feel her nails digging into my arms and hands. She caught me in the side and I rolled over. She straddled me and wrapped her small hands around my neck and squeezed.

"Big Bad Bella down for the count" I struggled to breathe as I felt her tighten her grip, I kept punching her in the side but, it wasn't fazing her.

"I really did love you but, now your just gum under my shoes now bitch!" I quickly thought of something and smiled. I grabbed at her breast and pulled with all my might, her screams made me smile. Rolling us over I hovered over her and ripped her shirt and bra off in one swift move and took one of her nipples in my mouth and bit down…..extremely hard.

"AHHH!" she squirmed under me as I looked up at her and started to slowly twirl it around my tongue. Her painful scream turned into moans as she started to rip at my clothes. I head butted her as she pushed me off her and we both stood up, her naked from the waist up and me in just my slacks and bra.

"Your nipple is bleeding" I laughed darkly as she grabbed the lamp next to her and threw it at me; I quickly ducked and lunged for her.

**/**

_TWENTY MINUTES LATER…_

"OH! BABY DON'T STOP!" I sucked her throbbing clit into my mouth as she harshly yanked at mines; I was so glad that we ended up in her room after the disastrous fight downstairs. I really don't know how we ended up fucking on the floor but I wasn't complaining. I felt her fingers flex inside of me as I licked her until she was convulsing on top of me.

Fucking love 69

"Fuck!" I yelled into her pussy as I started to clench around her fingers, she was thrusting her finger so hard that I knew I was going to sore afterwards. I quickly turned around and pulled her to on all fours, she glared at me.

"Fuck! Why did you stop!" she yelled but was cut off when I got behind her and took her into my mouth, she quickly lost her balance and fell face first into the wooden floor and moan loudly. This was the first time I actually did this, her response to this was fucking mouthwatering…she was so fucking wet.

"Don't fucking stop" she warn me as I let my thumb enter her asshole as she squeaked and scratched at the wood, it didn't take long for her to explode like a fire hose and pushed her away from me.

"Bitch"

"Slut"

I crawled over her and laid down on top of her, she moved my hair away from my face and spoke.

"This doesn't chance anything" I nodded not paying to any attention to what she was saying.

"Will see" I said tired and let my swollen eyes closed in pain, as Alice tried to stop her nose from bleeding….damn we really fucked each other up.

"And for the record….I fucking love this new Alice" she rolled over and let me spoon her, grabbing my hand and putting on her breast.

"Me too…now shut the fuck up and go to sleep before I throw your ass out" I smiled and kissed her neck.

"Yes Alice" …..

**A/N: That fight was so long over due….so how do you like the new Alice, she's not taking any shit from Bella anymore? Will Bella get the rage back into its cage or will Alice rage keep her out to play?**

**Until next time**

**Review**


	30. Chapter 30

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

Since the fight and fuck last week, I haven't heard from Alice since. I knew she was ignoring me but, I wasn't going to let it get to me. Alice was playing fucking games, one minute she's grinding her shit in my face and next she's dismissing my ass like last week garbage.

That shit hurts.

Carlisle tried to cheer me up by telling me that Alice calls out to me at night that did little to my ego and heart. She had been beating the shit out of my ego and self esteem lately, the bitch had fucking jokes.

I see how she feels now….all the time I said cruel things to her.

"Bella" James yelled as I rolled my eyes at him.

"What do you want?" he came through the door with Charlie, Sue, Leah, Seth and SuAnne.

SuAnne!

"Hey!" I said smiling as Charlie hugged me tight, when everybody….well except for Leah gave me hug I looked down at SuAnne and smiled.

"Hey"

"Hi" she was so big; I saw that she missing teeth.

"Snag of tooth" I said as she laughed and ran to me, I quickly picked her up and hugged her to me.

"God I missed you" she buried her face in my hair.

"I missed you Bella, when are you coming home" I looked at them who looked away from me.

"I don't know Annie" she frowns.

"I want to come home please" I signed, I knew seeing SuAnne was going to be difficult, she touched one of bruises and spoke.

"What Happen?"

"I got into a fight"

'With who?" Sue asked as I rolled my eyes….was I talking to Sue? NO

"Alice"

"Wait! Alice did that" Leah said laughing as I glared at her.

"I don't want to talk about it" they stayed at the hospital for some hours until visiting hours was over, SuAnne didn't want to go but I told that this place was not good and only bad and sick people was in here. After they left, James left me to myself and I grabbed my diary I started to write—recommended by Mrs. Harris. She wanted me write down everything from since I was seven to now, I stopped written when I got to Henry because that was too fucking painful to write, it scared me how painful it was writing it….just picturing me speaking about it. Henry was a sore subject and the last doctor only brush the tip of the ice burg as Mrs. Harris was chipping at it a little. She was a very good doctor and I was happy that she remained my doctor after what I did to her daughter, and she told me about what happen to her face…..not like I didn't know but, she trusted me and told me her story.

I wanted to do the same.

Walking through my halls I made my way down stairs into the game room and saw Dell and Jeremy playing the PS3.

"Hey dick and balls" I said flopping down on the couch next to them, they both looked wide eyed.

"Look who's finally came out of her room of darkness" Dell said bumping fist with me as Jeremy spoke.

"How's it up there?"

"Lonely"

"I bet" Dell said killing Jeremy on the screen.

"Ha! Beat you" I looked around and saw new faces; I saw Carlisle walking through the doors and smiled.

"Carlisle!" I yelled as he looked up, my smiled dropped at his tired face.

"Damn you looked like road kill" I said as he smiled.

"Funny"

"What's wrong" I walked with him to his office, I was a little sad that James was going to be leaving soon because Carlisle was back.

"It's Alice" I stopped moving and glared at him.

"What's wrong with Alice" I all but yell out.

"Nothing….it's just she's being a pain in the ass, she was never like this before the coma"

"What you thing she change when she was in her coma"

"Yeah….don't you?" I nodded; well yeah I think she changes….because the Alice before never threw a lamp at me. I felt my lips curl as I replayed our fight scene in my head over and over.

"Bella are you listening to me"

"Um...No but I am now" he shook his head.

"I don't know what to do with her; she called Rosalie a cunt five times and punched Jasper in the nose" I tried not to smile.

"That's bad"

"Yeah it is…I think she's becoming rebellious" rebellious! I think not!

"I guess"

"You know you should talk to her, I can see the changes in you and I don't want Alice following down the path you did" I smiled, me talking to Alice will most likely end up with us fuck fighting….you know what I should talk to her.

"If you assist" I smiled, after he cleared me to come along with him, I was practically jumping in my seat at the anticipation of what to come, when we arrived at the house, I said hey to everyone and took three step at a time and knocked on her door, she yelled.

"Fuck off!" I licked my lips and knocked again.

"I said fuck off, do you not speak English!" I smiled and knocked harder and faster, she swung the door open and saw me and glared.

"Hey Babe" I said as she slammed the door in my face as I signed in anger.

I knocked again as she opened the door.

"Go away Bella….I don't want anything to do with you" she slammed the door again, I gritted my teeth.

That's will the last time she fucking slam a door in my face!

Knocked again and again until she swung the door open with strength and pushed me into the wall.

"Bella get the fuck out of here" she was about to close the door again and I stuck my hand between the door and yelled in pain, she quickly opened the door and grabbed my hand.

"Shit! Are you alright?" she asked with so much concern as I smiled and ran past her into the room.

"You should know by now that I love pain" she huffed in anger and slammed the door closed.

"God you're so fucking annoying!" she said falling back on her bed.

"You love me" I said as she snorted and laughed.

"Past tense Bella" I grabbed the book she was reading and threw it.

"Stop trying to piss me off!" I smiled and yanked on her hair, she pushed me away from her.

"Come on Alice! I know you want it….I can see it in your eyes" I told her getting on my knees in front of her.

"I like you on your knees…. You look so weak"

**Awe hell no!**

_Hey! Shut it…I'm trying to get us some_

_**Ugh!**_

She grabbed my hair and pulled my head back.

"I like when you lick my pussy when your on your knees" holy shit!

"Do you want to do that Bella" I couldn't help but groan at her grip on my hair; I grabbed her rug and squeezed.

"Yes Alice" I horsed out as she pushed me on my back and stood over me.

"I want you to kiss my feet" what was she playing at?

"Now Bella" I got back on my knees and crushed my lips to her foot and looked up at her, she pressed her stomach into my face and ran her fingers through my hair.

"Do you want to taste me Bella" I quickly answered.

"Yes"

"Yes what?" I felt her hand twisted my nipples hard as I moaned loudly.

"Yes Alice" she told me to get up and lay on the bed, I immediately obeyed, and she pulled my clothes off and crawled over me.

"Take my clothes off" I quickly shredded her of her clothes and kissed the swell of her breast, she must didn't like that because I felt her pull on my lower lips painfully as I gasped and looked at her.

"Did I tell you to kiss me" I shook my head as she pulled harder and I grabbed her hand stopping her.

"Move your hand"

"No! You move …..That shit hurts!" I said as she smiled.

"I thought you love Pain" she suddenly took my painful lips in her mouth as I grabbed at her sheets. When I felt her nib at my clit I flinched.

"Stop fucking moving before I stopped and kick you out" I quickly went stiffed and closed my mouth. Her tongue was doing so many things to me, this wasn't my Alice…..my Alice didn't know how to do that! I yelled out my orgasm as she licked every drop up as I tried to catch my breath.

"You taste very good" she moved up my body and grabbed at my hair.

"Now it's my turn and I don't want you to stop until I tell you" I nodded and pulled her down on my face…..

TEN MINUTES LATER…

Still my face was between her thighs, I felt my tongue cramping as I licked and sucked her into my mouth.

"Alisw" my voice muffed by her pussy, she moved and I took a rather large gulp of air.

"What!" she said angrily.

"I can't fucking breathe" I said trying to catch my breath as I flex my tongue trying to get the cramp out of it.

"I was getting tired anyway" she pushed off me as I pushed myself up on my elbows.

"What is that suppose to mean" I asked hurt.

"Nothing…..put your clothes on and meet me down stairs" she quickly walked into her bathroom and closed the door; I knew that her bathroom had a pathway to the hallway. When I go dressed and down stairs I saw that she was sitting on the couch by the front door.

"Come outside with me" I nodded and grabbed her hand, she quickly pulled it away…..I didn't let the hurt flash on my face.

"Alice what happened to you?" I asked as she sat down on the porch.

"I just stop caring about people who didn't care about me" she said.

"But you are mean to your family"

"They just get on my nerves sometimes, I always wanted to tell them off and it feels so good to do it now"

"Is this because me" I sat down next to her.

"Not everything about you Bella"

"Look I brought you out because…."

"Because of what" she smiled at me and stood up.

"This" she ran back into the house and slammed the door before I could stop her.

_**Wow! I think I fell in love**_

_Shut up!_

**A/N: If you are feeling bad for Bella….please don't, Bella was a bitch to her behind the scenes and that fucked her up, she deserved every bit of what Alice is doing to her….trust she won't take it for much longer.**

**Until next time**

**Review **


	31. Chapter 31

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

"Want to know what I think you should do" James said stacking a pile of paper on his desk; I was sitting on the small purple couch trying to shoot paper clips in his trash can. James was leaving tomorrow and I was sad about it, the little annoying shit grew on me. He has been there through all the Alice drama…as I call it. He was there for me when I had breakthroughs in therapy….he was like a bother I never had.

"And what that might be?" he dropped the full box on the desk and tapped it shut.

"You and Alice should have a conjointed therapy session" stopping my movements, I let my mind soak up the words that escape his mouth.

A conjoined therapy session

It might work!

"James you are a fucking genius!" I jumped from the couch and kissed him in the cheek; he frowned and wiped it off in disgust.

"Okay….Ew and thank you" he smiled at me, I rushed from the room and ran down to Carlisle office in pure excitement, he was beating himself up trying to find a solution for Alice and her sudden change in behavior.

"Carl" my voice was cut short, when I saw Charlie and-

"What the hell is he doing here?" my voice boomed loudly, they had the nerve to bring this fucking low life where I was staying, I can't fucking believe this!

"Bella calm down, he was just-

"Just what, seeing if his insane daughter finally committed suicide!" I yelled and stalked up to the man I use to call my Father, I always thought that out of everyone….he would be the one there for me. I saw how my Mother would turn him against me every time she saw us bonding or getting alone. She was always jealous of him, jealous that I would rather have him instead of her.

"Isabella" I grabbed at my head and pulled as hard as I could.

"Don't call me that, you known that Henry called me that whenever he wanted to put his dick inside me!" they all flinched as I looked into my Father's eyes with hate.

"Bella I didn't know" I laughed bitterly and rolled my eyes.

"You going to stand here and lie to me! Every time I looked into your eyes begging you to take me with you….you didn't see the hurt and fear" he fell into the seat and out his head in his hands and I heard him sniffed.

_**Fuck! Is he crying?**_

_I think so_

"When she would always make up some fuck up excuse for me to stay with _him_ when you guys went on yours vacations"

"I blame you both but, I blame everything he ever did to me on _her_, she was a heartless and loveless woman who only loved your money" My father lifted his head and saw the tears rolling down his face.

"You know I always asked her why we never took you on none of the trips….especially to Florida; I knew you would have loved Disneyland. She would say that you did something bad and you were on punishment, but in the back of my mind….you were the sweetest and obeyed child I ever seen" I leaned back against the door frame as he continued to speak.

"I didn't picked Henr-

"Don't say it!" Carlisle yelled at him as Charlie glared, I closed my eyes and counted to ten like James told me, when I was at seven I felt the anger and hurt lessen, reopening my eyes I saw Charlie in front of me with concern echoing his features.

"I'm alright"

"I am sorry….I should've known better" I was getting tired of talking about this, I signed and spoke.

"Why are you here?" I asked as he stood up and walked over to me, I took a step back.

"I want to make amends" he said I scoffed.

"I want my virginity back….looks like we both out of luck" I looked at Carlisle.

"When he's gone, come and find me in my room, I need to talk to you about Alice" I turned around but was stopped by my Father's voice.

"I left her" I stopped in my tracks and whipped around in shocked.

"What?"

"She said some things that were unforgivable and I couldn't take any longer, I rather not have her in my life then you. I don't know why it took me so long to finally see her for her true colors. But I know deep down it's my fault anyway" he looked down at his shoes.

"How is her being a cunt your fault, as to what I've seen….you were a damn good husband" I saw his lips curl a little.

"When she got pregnant with you, off the back she wanted to abort you but I told if she did that I was going to leave her, at that time I was providing for her. She had no one, her Mother kicked her out when she was eighteen and when I met her, she was a fucking bum on the street who asked me for some money. I saw something in her and took her home with me, I fed her, I clothed her—I gave that bitch everything I had…..and she repay me by trying to have my unborn child aborted" I quickly looked at Charlie, when he sadly nodded, I sucked in a deep harsh breath.

I was a fucking hair away from being aborted

Damn!

"After she had you, thank god her Mother instincts came in and she took care of you. But that lasted only for a couple of months, she got tired of playing Mommy to you and dumped every thing on me, I didn't mind because, I was the only one who really wanted you anyway. You started to grow up and she hated that my attention was on you all the time; I never gave her the slight attention when you were around me, and it was like I fell in love all over again. She saw the bond we shared and tried her best to break….or finds ways to pulled me away from you, and that's when she brought up the nanny situation. Bella you have to believe me that I never wanted a male nanny for you, you can't fucking trust any guy around your little girl…but Renee convinced me that _he_ was a family Nanny" I walked towards the couch and sat down; he quickly sat down as well.

"When she hired _him, _I started to see her change, she started to give you attention and affections, and I really thought that she changed. You don't know how happy I was when I came home from work to see you two on the carpet playing with your blocks and coloring books, she would smiled at me and kissed me, she would have dinner ready…everything was perfect"

"Too fucking perfect" I said after a silence pause, I wrapped my arms around myself and blinked back the tears.

"You got older and she got colder, ordering me to take her with me to my jobs conferences every weekend and leave you at home, at first I was not for it but, I knew that these trips wasn't for little kids and I knew I couldn't trust her to look after you by herself, so I reluctantly decided to leave you with _him_" before I could say anything Charlie spoke.

"And by doing that, you brought on to her the main thing you tried to protect her from" he said as I finished his sentence.

"Pain" I quickly wiped at my eyes and stood up, I couldn't hear anymore….I fucking needed Alice. Running to the door his voice cried out.

"Please Bella I'm so sorry! I was a fool and I let you down….I hurt you, he hurt you, your Mother hurt you…I see it in your eyes that the world has hurt you as well. But I just want to know if my little Bella is still inside of there somewhere?" he asked looking deep into my watery eyes.

"We both lost that Bella the moment that front door closed, with you on the outside and me on the inside unprotected"

"I don't know if I would ever see that Bella again" I swung the door open and ran, my feet slamming down on the tile floor as I ran pass the security and out the door, I heard the sirens go of like they do when someone's trying to break out of jail, I had to get to Alice before I lose myself entirely. Stomping through the grass, I hopped the fence and sprinted down the street…..

I had to get to her.

**/**

When I arrived at the house, I saw that there were no cars in the driveway.

"Please be home" I whispered and let my fist slam into the door, about five punches that door suddenly swung open.

"What the fuc-

Lifting my head as my tears fell had down my face; I watched the anger quickly is replace with worry and concern.

"Get in here" her voice was soft, softest as I heard it since she woke up from her coma, stepping inside on shaky legs.

"Bella what's wrong" she said scared at my unstable state, I tried to speak but, a sob slipped and I dropped to my knees pulling her to me and burying my face in her stomach.

"Oh baby!" she cried and slammed to hers knees in front of me; I saw tears in her eyes.

"Please Bella tell me what's wrong…..please" she held my head in her hands.

"I…I

I was cut off; when I saw a girl walking out the kitchen with a soda can in her left hand and a bowl of popcorn in her right.

_**SHE'S FUCKING DEAD! DO YOU HEAR ME BELLA….FUCKING DEAD!**_

**_LET ME OUT BELLA...LET ME FUCKING OUT NOWWWW!_**

Pain shooting through my whole body as the Rage clawed at my chest in anger.

"Bella look at me….this is not what its looks like" my eyes were trained on the girl who was sitting on the couch not knowing the danger she was in.

"Alice bring your fine ass over here, the movie is about to start" I heard Alice whimper as I felt the most painful feeling break inside of me and release the Rage. I didn't give Alice a glance as I jumped from my knees and ran.

The girl didn't even see me coming, as I wrapped my arms around her neck from behind and squeezed, closing my eyes I felt the tears fall as I tighten my grip with every cry or struggle she gave, I felt her nails digging in my arms as I squeezed harder. I could hear Alice behind me screaming for me to let go, her nails digging into my neck as I grabbed her by her hair and yanked her over the couch as I resumed my grip on the girl with both arms, I pulled her from the couch and slammed her down hard on the wooden floor and kicked her in the face, she passed out at the force, I turned around and narrowed my eyes at a scared Alice.

"Bella please...I'm so sorry" I was suddenly thrown back by the force of a flashback.

Of Julia.

"N….N…No" I whimpered at the pain that my balled fist was making; I could feel the blood inside my fist at the pressure. She scramble to get away as she coward away from me, I quickly grabbed her foot.

"Bella please don't this!" she yelled as I shook my head.

"I love you so much….why would you do that to me?" my voice broke. She don't know how much I would do for her….I would give my life for her...I would take a life for her.

"Why would you break my heart like this" I twisted her ankle with all the strength I could mustered, her scream bounced off the walls.

"BELLA STOP!" I heard her scream but I didn't stop; I let her broken foot go and fell to my knees on the side of her waist and grabbed her face in my hands.

"I was going to love you forever" I whispered in her ear and slolwly wrapped my hands around her neck. Suddenly Julia face came to view and I let my sob go as my hands choked her tighter. Her hands were pathetically trying to pry my hands from around her neck, I felt her start to weaken as her struggle got weaker and let my quivery lips kiss her forehead as I let my tears go…

**A/N: Damn neared cried writing this**

**Until next time**

**Review**


	32. Chapter 32

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

**Warning…..some heavy shit.**

My anger has no limits

Once a normal girl with a dream and a goal

Now is just a empty soul

I never wanted to hurt anybody

But it seems that everybody was out to hurt me

Every time I opened my heart to someone

I would always get it back broken

And they see why I do what I do

Because no one will love me as much as I do

I have to concentrate on me

And let the world destroy it's self.

**Three weeks later….**

When I felt her hands fall lifeless to her side, I felt my heart cry out. She drove me to do it, I never wanted to hurt her, and I just wanted to get better for her….to love her better. When I was dragged away, I gave Alice one last glance as I saw Carlisle pushing on her chest as he blew air in her mouth trying to get it in her lungs, when I saw the hopeful look in his eyes I felt disappointed.

I felt angry that I didn't finish what I started.

After being pushed into a car and watching as the ambulance take both Alice and the girl who name I didn't know away.

Here I am now two week later, in a small room with just a bed and a toilet. It looks so much like jail but, I knew I wasn't in there…..because in jail you had inmates.

I was alone.

I was losing my mind in here, I've haven't heard from Rage awhile and I happy but since these two weeks in here…..I have been hearing another voice.

A familiar voice

No one came to see me in here; I was afraid that everyone would forget about me and leave me to rot in here.

But another part of me didn't care…..I wanted them to forget about when I finally take that last breath…..I won't be missed.

Holding the sharp object in my hands with determination, one late night, I was sitting here with my knees pressed into my chest as I rocked back and forth. The silence was killing me, when suddenly a shiver object was pushed under the space of the door, hitting my foot.

Someone in here wanted me to kill myself.

At this point…..that sounded more appealing now than ever.

I was slowly going crazy and there was no one here to bring me back to sanity.

"_Bella"_

There's that voice again.

"_Bella"_

It sounded so soft like a child's voice, closing my eye; I grip my hair in anger.

"Shut up!" I screamed in the empty dark room, there were no windows…..just brick walls.

"_Why did you let him hurt us Bella?" _

Feeling tears finally fall, I suddenly knew who voice this was.

"I didn't let him"

"_You did! You let him touch us! You let him take away our innocence!" _

"I…..I…I couldn't fight him"

"_You let him take me away" _her voice broke as I smell the rusty smell of blood hitting my noise as I looked down and saw my hand bleeding at the pressure I was putting on the sharp blade.

"Please leave me alone!" I pleaded with the voice, hearing my seven year old voice accuse me of letting Henry do what he did broke me apart. The pain was too much as I screamed and yelled for someone to come and save me from myself.

I want them out of my head.

_You can't leave me Bella! I need you!_

_We both need you!_

A…Alice. I wanted her here with me, I needed her arms around me and her soft voice telling me that everything will be okay. My body starts to shake with harsh sobs as I let myself be pushed into a flashback.

_**Watching the Cullen's walk through the hallways of the school like royalty, my eyes suddenly caught Alice, Rosalie, Tanya, Maria and a girl I didn't know. This girl had an arm slung over Alice's shoulder, she was my height, and her hair was this blond color with red highlights. Walking towards them, I smiled and pulled Alice to my chest and crushed my lips to hers. **_

"_**Hey babe" Alice beamed up at me, as I watched the girl smile vanish when I pulled Alice from her. I let my eyes fill with hate and rage as the girl back off and smiled at the girls. **_

"_**Hey I'm late for class, I'll see you guys later….and I will see you next class Alice" she smiled at my girl as I crushed Alice hand in mines, she winched and smiled. **_

"_**Y…Yeah Mariah" so that's the bitch name. I leaned over to Alice ear and spoke low.**_

"_**Can we talk somewhere private" she looked at me and saw the anger in my eyes, she knew what was about to happen and nodded, I smiled at the girls and pulled Alice along.**_

"_**Sorry but I am going have to take this one from your hands for a minute" I said as they smiled and nodded, when we got into the girl's bathroom, I locked the door and turned around and saw that Alice had ran into one of the stalls. **_

"_**Open the fucking door now Alice" I said with so much calmness that it scared me a little bit. I heard her whimper.**_

"_**I'm not going to hurt you, I just want to talk to you…..face to face" I stood there for about a minute before she spoke.**_

"_**Bella you know I love you with all my heart, I would never cheat on you…Mariah is just a friend" I punched the stall and yelled.**_

"_**Come out now Alice!" **_

"_**P…..Please Bella" her pleas were doing nothing for me, that bitch had her arm around my Alice.**_

_**She was touching what belong to me.**_

"_**Come out, I'm not going to ask you again" I heard the lock snap and I pushed the door open and grabbed Alice by her hair. Slamming her into the wall, I grabbed her hands and pinned them above her head.**_

"_**Why was she touching you?" my grip on her wrist tighten.**_

"_**She's a friend Bella…nothing else" I slammed her down on her knees and sat down on the close toilet seat. **_

"_**Who do you belong to you Alice" I pulled my belt from the belt loops of my pants, she coward away.**_

"_**YOU! Bella please don't this!" she started to shake in fear. I unbutton my jeans and pulled down.**_

"_**Come here" she quickly came to me on her knees. I stood up and grabbed her hair.**_

"_**Now show me who you belong to"…**_

Mariah!

That's who was in the house!

Feeling rage well and fire spread, I couldn't help but let the blade cut through my skin on my bare thigh, feeling pain as it consumed me. The orgasmic feeling was too much as I felt a moan escape my lips.

_**So this is how we are going out…uh?**_

_Bella I don't want go out!_

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I cut too deep this time as blood started to leak out my leg like water. I felt woozy like I was floating.

_**It's been my pleasure to finally get you here**_

"To where?" I said softly as my eyes started to droop as my right hand let go of the blade.

_**To freedom.**_

_Goodbye Bella._

My breaths were coming in short gasps, as I let my head rest on the cold brick, a smile made its way to my face as I took my last breath…..

**Tears of blood I have shed**

**I have no meaning for this life anymore**

**Misused and abused **

**As I walk the steps to hell**

**With a smile on my face**

**I finally gotten what I wanted**

**Freedom.**

**A/N: Don't have anything to say after that….. Two chapters left.**

**Next chapter will be a jump and will be in Carlisle POV**

**Until Next time **

**Review**


	33. Freedom

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

**WARNING!**

**Carlisle**

I still remember that day when I saw my little girl fall in love for the first time, watching her eyes shine and sparkle as she twirled around throughout the house. I wanted to meet the girl who had my baby girl over the moon, when I had the pleasure of meeting Charlie's niece….the one who stole my daughter's heart, I was speechless.

I knew right there when I looked into her eyes, that she was going to change our lives.

I should've listened to my instincts when I had the chance.

Bella condition was not something even I could cure; we labeled her illness called (IED) because it was the closeness thing to her condition we could get. Bella was her own illness.

That I called… (SOD) _Soul of Darkness. _

She was doomed before birth, her mother cast her aside and a Father who let the world stop him from protecting his child. Bella was alone in the world, she had no one but her in this dangerous world we called life. I do not blame her, I blame her life she was chose. I blame the world of all her pain and suffering. She was just an innocent child who had done nothing to nobody, tears I have cried for the poor girl, the pain I have felt every time I saw the pain and darkness rest in her brown dark eyes. She was on a level that none of us could possible understand, she was her own creature. Everyday I spent with Bella Swan was a learning experience for me; she made me think out the box and above and beyond the norm of life. She made me see that life was a bitch and if you couldn't handle it, you would be sunk into the darkness like she did.

She once side that, at one point in life the minds gets corrupt thus….creating people like her… people of insanity.

I never really listened to her when would spit crazy talk at me when she was dope up on her meds, but I knew now that everything that came out of her mouth was a learning experience for me and any body else who was around her, she made me think out side the box and beyond. I have shed tears; I have felt the pain as I looked into her dark brown eyes. With a heavy heart, I closed her folder with falling tears as my office door swung opened. I looked up and saw James.

"How are you James?" I asked knowing how close he was to Bella, when Bella was happy and full with joy, she was the most beautiful person to be around and she sucked most of the people in here in her web.

"I'm not doing so good doc" that was understandable. I grabbed her folder and safely put it away in my briefcase and walked around my desk, grabbing the broken men in my arms, I let him cry his heart out, and I let him cry his pain away.

"She was doing so well!" he cried in my arms as I held him tighter and nodded, in fact she was doing excellent.

"Maybe she was ready to finally let go" he shook his head.

"I don't believe that! Have you read her notebooks, she was happy that she was getting well, she was happy that she was getting well for Alice…..Alice was her motivation" feeling pain in my heart at my daughter's name, I nodded and let him go.

"That she was" …

**/**

After the corners left with Bella, the hospital was silent, patients frozen with pain and grief. The hospital would never be the same again. When I gotten the call late night, that Bella had died, I actually cried, I rushed around the house for my clothes, I knew that my family knew something bad had happened and they didn't want to alert Alice of what was happening, she needed to heal and be prepared for what was going hit her when she finally found out about Bella.

When I found out that Bella had excess to a blade, I went the fuck off, I gave strict orders to not let anyone close to her while she was in there. I have my suspensions of who gave her the blade, trying to get my self together before I face my Family…to face the Swan's, I gave a long deep breath and left my office. When I arrived home, I was ambushed.

"Carlisle!" Esme flying into my arms, I hugged her to me and looked at my kids who were sitting down in the living room. I guided Esme to the love seat and pulled away, I cleared my throat and spoke.

"You all are aware that I was called last night" they all nodded as I sat down and signed, Esme put her hand over her mouth and closed her eyes.

"Bella died last night" Esme sob hit us all as I grabbed her, Emmett sat there shocked as I watched the tears fall from his eyes. Rosalie, Edward, Jasper, Tanya and Maria froze in their seats.

"I do not want Alice to know right this minute, she needs to get well and I don't think telling her that Bella has died will help her heal" Edward spoke first.

"What happened?" I licked my lips and squeezed Esme to me.

"Suicide" Rosalie jumped from the couch with tears falling down her face.

"I don't want to fucking hear this" she ran out the door as Emmett followed after her, I looked back at my kids.

"Fuck! Alice" Edward said as I finally felt the fear of what this would do to Alice, her love for Bella was real as real gets and she might have left Bella but I knew that love like that don't just go away like that.

"I will come up with something, but until then, I don't want her to know" they all nodded and separated to their own parts of the house, I looked at my wife who was barely keeping it together.

Now the hard part…..The Swan's.

When I arrived on their porch, Charlie knew something happened. Watching Charlie break down triggered the tears I have kept at bay since last night, clingy to Sue as they both cried as Seth and Leah held each other, I was happy that SuAnne was at School because I didn't know if I could have watched that. After a couple days, Charlie had arranged the funeral plans and told Phil about Bella, he told me that the poor guy had gone into shock and was hospitalized.

Her funeral was set on the first Saturday of the summer. Alice and SuAnne was still in the dark about Bella, I was as scared for my daughter as Charlie was for SuAnne, the two girls that Bella utter those three words to. Alice and SuAnne were like water to flowers to Bella, now that she was gone, I was so afraid.

That Alice would follow Bella's footsteps.

But there's one thing I could say now that I couldn't when she was alive.

That she was now pain free.

**A/N: I never envisioned a happy ending to this fic, Bella was too damage to ever recover from the pain and suffering she had went through, like Carlisle said, she was her own illness….she was trapped inside of her own darkness and couldn't get out until…now.**

**I will write two more chapters….one with Alice and SuAnne finding out and the funeral…and the other with be of Bella's thoughts in her notebook as the final.**

**Until next time **

**Review **


	34. Alice and SuAnne

**Bella/ Alice**

**Rated M**

**A quick note from the beta: I hope you all enjoyed this story like I did. It is incredible how this story played out. You are able to become a part of Bella and her pain and suffering. Blood Venom Tears0816 did a phenomenal job. She is one hell of a writer.**

**As you can see, I have finally found my Beta!...thank the lord.**

**To: TinkerDink09!**

**I wished we would've started from the beginning but, you came at the right time….so thanks for proofreading and making Rage and Fire go out with a bang.**

**And to the rest of my readers…..Enjoy!**

Alice and SuAnne.

**Carlisle**

Packing my thing up to leave and go home, I found myself in front of Bella's door; I quietly opened the door and walked in.

Her room was trashed.

Dropping my briefcase by the door, I picked up the torn pictures of Bella and Alice.

"You know, I never thought she would actually go through with it" I whipped around and saw Passion standing there; I felt my heart beat faster as I tried to keep my fist from balling. Passion was my prime suspect; after what Bella did to her, I wouldn't put it passed her.

"Passion"

"Dr. Cullen" I looked around the room.

"You did this" she walked inside and sat down on the crowed bed, I sat down as well.

"I had to, she was far passed hurting….she was suffering, I couldn't keep watching her suffer like that, and it was her time" I stood up with anger and hurt.

"That wasn't your call to make! She would have gotten better!" she looked up at me.

"She almost killed your daughter…twice, she attempted suicide twice and still you sit here and say that she was getting better" she stood up and pick up a picture of Bella by herself looking out the window downstairs.

"She hid her pain so well, but I saw it…every beat of her heart was painful to her, she needed an out….she needed to be set free and I gave her that" never in my life have I wanted to slap a woman but, I was having trouble trying to keep my hands to myself.

"Bella was family to me"

"Bella was walking the line of darkness; she was beyond fixable to be considered part of anyone's family"

"You don't know Bella like I DO! She was a girl that had a bad life" she laughed, something about that laugh sent chills up my spine…it reminded me of Bella.

"Your wrong, nobody knew the real Bella…you didn't know about the voices" I quickly snapped my eyes to her.

_Voices _

"W...W…What?" she nodded, caressing Bella's face in the picture.

"Bella heard voices in her head, it would look like she has a split personality but, in all truth…..Bella had an evil voice in her head that she called…Rage. You can see the difference between the two, Bella was the calm one who loved Alice with her whole heart, then you had Rage who wanted Alice to bow and kneel at her feet, Rage wanted vengeance as Bella just wanted to be loved" I fell on the bed in shock as I felt tears fall from my eyes.

"How could I have missed something so important like that, I was her doctor, I was her friend….I didn't do my job" the pain in my chest was too much and I grabbed my brief case as her folder fell out and a picture of her smiling fell to the ground. I picked it up and closed my eyes, I failed her.

I failed Alice.

I failed everybody.

I looked up at Passion and glared.

"You're not getting away with this" I said as she nodded and walked out.

/

I met up with the Swan's and we arranged to have both Alice and SuAnne be told at my house, Charlie was a strong man, Bella was like a daughter to him. When I saw his police cruiser parked in front of my house I took a deep breath. Getting out of the car, I walked up the steps and inserted my key, the door swung open before I could turn the key, and Esme wrapped her arms around me as I kissed her.

"How are you my love?" I asked her.

"Afraid" I hugged her to me tighter and we walked into the house, I saw Rosalie playing with SuAnne who was laughing and full of happiness, I felt like a monster because I was about to take her happiness away with the news I was about to share.

Where's Alice" I asked putting my briefcase down.

"Still barricaded in her room"

"I'll go and get her" I walked up the stairs and knocked on her door, I quietly opened the door, when I stepped in; the room was dark and silent.

"Alice" I sat down next her and rubbed her back, I felt her body shaking with silent sobs.

"Baby girl, I need you to come down stairs, I really need to talk to you" she turned around; I saw that the redness around her neck was fading.

"Okay" her voice was small and emotionless; I helped her up and gave her her crutches, we made our way down to living room where everybody was quiet and sitting down. Alice limped to the couch and wrapped her arms around herself.

"Good to see you're okay Alice" Charlie said as Alice just looked forward and kept quiet, I sighed and gave a silent prayer to let Alice get through this. I looked at Charlie and Sue; they took SuAnne to one of the guest rooms as I bent down eye level to Alice.

"Sweetie, I have so horrible news and I want you to please jus-

"What happen this time, has she tried to kill somebody again…..oh wait! I know, she finally gave up and killed that bitch Passion?" everybody looked down as Esme started to cry, Alice looked around and saw the sad looks everybody was giving her. When suddenly we heard SuAnne's loud cries…..that done it for Alice. She pushed past me and was about to fall when Edward grabbed her, she struggled and she let out a painful scream.

"NO!" she yelled in pain as I ran to her and Edward.

"I'm so sorry Alice!" I yelled and took her from Edward as she kept screaming and struggling, I rocked her back and forth.

"She's free Alice, she not in pain anymore" I said in her ear as she kept screaming and sobbing, her body was shaking so badly that I afraid that she was going to go into shock, she suddenly grabbed at her chest and gave a painful gasp.

"B….Bella" I let her go and grabbed her face in my hands, she pushed me away from her and slammed down hard on the floor and scratched at the wood, her wails were piercing the air as we all watched her break apart in front of our eyes, I heard another sob burst from behind me and saw Rosalie running to Alice as she picked Alice up and put her in her lap. Alice and SuAnne both cried themselves to sleep; we all took turns watching Alice. Charlie and I sat down and talked about the funeral and the reception, everybody else just sat around talking about the good times they had with Bella.

/

Today was the day we were finally putting Bella to rest, Alice hadn't said anything or moved since Edward picked her up off the floor and took her to her room, Rosalie and the girls helped her get dressed for the day, I was dressed in a black suit as well as every other male, Charlie had invited the whole Reservation as well as Phil….we couldn't get in touch with Renee. We all left and got into the limo as Charlie's whole force rode in front of us on motorcycles and their police cars, so many people were there when we finally got there, the church was filled with people from the hospital and from school. I saw Charlie and I told Edward to not let Alice out of his sight, he nodded as I walked over to Charlie and Phil.

"The funeral should start in ten minutes, we should start getting people inside" Charlie said, I could see that he was trying his hardest to keep his composure; Phil wasn't that far behind either.

"I never wanted to say goodbye to her" I said as they both nodded.

"Me either" we all split up and got everybody inside and seated, The Swan's and Cullen's was in the front rows as everybody else was three rows behind us. The preacher started the service and we all finally let go. Charlie spoke…barely getting through his speech, SuAnne actually went up there with the help of Leah and spoke; she had the whole church crying. Alice sat there motionless when Charlie asked her if she wanted to say something, I nodded at him as the service was coming to an end. Emmett, Edward, Jasper, Seth, Charlie, and I was the pallbearers, when they opened her casket, we all heard the shrilling screams of Alice when she saw Bella. I pushed off Charlie and ran to her, everybody was looking scared and shocked, and I bent down and grabbed her to me. Her eyes were unfocused and pained.

"Its okay baby girl….let it out" and that she did as Esme came over and held her with me, I let her go and everybody started to moved to go to their cars, her grave site was only ten minutes away, Esme and Rosalie took a crying Alice into the limo. When we arrived, I saw Charlie starting to cry as he grabbed one of the bars, I saw Seth losing it as well.

"She's in a good place now" they nodded as I grabbed my bar and we lifted her up, even though I haven't cried doing the service, I knew I wouldn't be able to keep them at bay when they lowered her down into the ground. Everybody watched us pull her out and bring her to the middle of the crowd and put her down.

"We are here today to say goodbye to Isabella Marie Swan, she was judgeed not by her heart but her actions, but I stand here today; as I watched her family grieve, I know that she will be missed. As we lower her to her home of peace, does any one have any last words?" I quickly pulled Bella's picture from my pocket as they lowered her down in the hole; I stood up and let the picture fall from my hands.

**Rest in Peace**

**Isabella Marie Sawn**

**A sprit that will forever be felt.**

A/N: Next and last chapter of Rage and Fire will be of Bella's thoughts.

Until the next time

Review.


	35. Notebook

**A/N: I just want to say that I have had a very difficult time written this story but I did it and I thank you all for the heartfelt reviews. **

**I want give special thanks to Tsubasa: your review made my heart swell, because of people like you and the rest of my readers make me want to write and put my heart out there through my words. **

**So many people I want give a special thanks to, who been there since chapter one, I really wanted to end this story with a happy ending but it never seemed to fit as I wrote chapter after chapter.**

**So for the last chapter of Rage and Fire…I want to do a time jump, the Cullen's are moving away to college and Alice will find Bella's Notebook in her book bag.**

**Give love to my Beta!**

**TinkerDink09**

**Bella/Alice**

**Rated M**

**Enjoy!**

**NoPOV**

Twenty boxes stacked one by one by the door of the Cullen's house, the house was quiet and gave this feeling of sadness. Esme the Mother, sat back and watched as her children pack up to leave her, she knew they were going away to build a better life for themselves but, her heart still broke as she watched her daughter put the last piece of tape on a small box and laid it by the rest.

"I'm really going to miss you Alice" bringing the small girl into her arms, the raven haired girl clung to her Mother with sadness.

"I'm going to miss you too Mom" just when they pulled away, Emmett, and Edward came tumbling down the stairs and into her arms.

"We're going to miss you Mom" they both said with emotion, Esme couldn't keep the sob that erupted from her mouth, she was losing her babies. Box after box was carried out and put in the truck they rented for the drive to California, where UCLA was waiting. Carlisle walked out of the kitchen and held his wife in his arms, he saw Alice run her hand through her hair.

"Do you think she will be alright?" Carlisle asked as they watch the boys and Jasper rumble on the ground, everybody was smiling and happy; except for Alice who looks about ready to cry.

"Carl-

She didn't have to tell him twice, as he went flying out the door and pulled his daughter into his arms and she finally let out the cry she had been keeping in.

"She should be here moving to California with me" she sobbed as the kids stopped what they were doing and sighed bowing there heads in shame.

"What did I tell you? Bella will always be here with you Alice" Carlisle whispered to his distraught daughter.

"I just wish she was here standing next to me with her arms around me" she said with so much pain and sadness that I couldn't help but feel tears well.

"We all do Sweetie" she pulled away and wiped her eyes, she shook her head and ran into the house and up the stairs; Rosalie was about run after her but Carlisle put his hand up stopping her.

"Leave her be" Carlisle walked back into the house and made his way to his office and slowly pulled the black tattered notebook from his desk.

"She needs to know" Carlisle's head shot up and saw his wife standing there, they both looked at the notebook.

"There are so many things in this book that will hurt her"

"And there's things in there that she should know about too" Esme said as she took the notebook from her Husband's hands. She let the pages flip as she scanned the pages with her fingers.

"This is the closure Alice needs, Carlisle ….more than you do" Gasping, Carlisle looked at his wife with pain.

"H…How?"

"You loved Bella just as much as me or Alice did, your hurting as well and you keep this notebook for comfort but, do you think Alice would need the comfort more than you" Carlisle felt ashamed, Esme was right. Alice needs the book more than he did, he snatched it and ran outside, he saw that no one was in the car and he snuck the book into her book bag. After the tear stained goodbyes, the kids were off to their new life as college students.

**To have Bella's thoughts written, I wanted to put Alice POV in here, so when she finds it…it will start off there.**

**Alice**

"Alice sweetie, we're here" Tanya's voice ran through my ears, I rubbed my eyes finding out that I was crying in my sleep. I got out of the car and we started to unpack the boxes and bags, I was so tired and sleepy. When we got to our dorm room, Rosalie was roomed with me as Maria and Tanya was roomed together just down the hall. Our third roommate was nice but I wasn't in the mood to fucking socialize with anybody, I wanted to unpack and go to fucking sleep. That's been my routine since….

_Don't say it!_

Shaking my head as I felt the tears, I quickly made my way to my new room. My boxes were stacked nicely….thanks to my brothers and Jasper, opening the first box, I grabbed the handle of my book bag and pull it toward me as all the contents fell out.

"Just great" I mumbled and got down on my knees to pick it up, I heard my door open and glared at who ever it was.

"Alice" it was Rosalie, Tanya, Maria, Deana and their roommate Tristan. What the fuck was this? An intervention?

"Can I help you all with something?" I said picking up the things that fell out my bag, my hand caught on to something black. Looking down I saw Bella's sloppy handwriting across the cover

_Bella's thoughts_

"I was wondering if you wanted to come with us and go site seeing?" Rosalie asked, my hands shaking, as I felt the lump in my throat grow with every second.

"A…Alice are you alright?" Maria asked, I picked the book up and felt my tears fall, I suddenly looked up and screamed.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" I jumped to my feet as they all looked scared and shocked, they all left quickly as I locked the door. I slowly turned around and saw the black notebook taunting me, I felt a whimper escape my lips as I pulled at my hair and slid down the door. My heart wanted to read it, but my head told me that I was going to get hurt even more if I read it, I wonder how her notebook got into my bag? Shaking my head, I crawled over and grabbed the book.

"You can do this Alice" I whispered, slowly opening the book I read the first line…..

**You will see the difference between Bella and Rage as you read her entries….**

**Here we go.**

_**3/03**_

_My name is Isabella Marie Swan, named after my Grandmother, I wish I had memories of her….they say she was a wonderful woman. My uncle Charlie told me everything about her, he says she was the heart of the family. He told me she took care of everybody, I wonder if she was still alive, would she bare the pain I have lived for me? Would she take my pain away? We would never know. _

_Henry._

_I could write his name down many times but if uttered once…I feel the pain and loss strangle me to death, he took so much and damaged me for anybody else, he's the reason for my ways but not all is put on him. My mother is a huge part of my heartless way, she showed how to not love, she showed me the way to hurt someone without physically doing so. _

_Henry who took my innocence and killed me from the outside._

_My mother who unbeknown to me killed me from the inside._

Wiping my tears I turn to the next page.

_**6/03**_

_How would I describe Passion in one word?_

_Mysterious _

_She makes me think, I don't know it's something about her that makes the rage inside burn with need and lust, I don't want to but I can't help how I feel. She's beautiful yes but she doesn't hold a candle to my goddess Alice, I would move the world for her….I don't think she even knows how deep and serious my feelings for her are? I love her with so much that it hurts. She makes me want to get better and have kids and a house, to be a family._

_I would love to have a family with Alice, to have that pure love of devotion and care, to love and protect my family like mine failed to do for me. I would never leave my daughter unprotected ever! Our child will have the love of millions in her heart because I would be damned if she feels even a little ounce of what I did growing up. _

_Alice…..my beautiful Alice_

_How I would love to be that person for her but I know I'm not going to get that far, I'm too damaged...Or should I say unfixable to have a family._

_She wouldn't want to have a family with a freak anyway. _

"Oh Bella" I cried.

_**13/3**_

_I need her arms around me._

_I need to feel her skin against mine as she whispers her love for me in my ear._

_I can't stop thinking about Alice and her soft touch that send chills inside my heart, the girl has my heart in everyway. I can't imagine not being with her, if I couldn't be with her I don't know what I would I do, she is my whole reason why I haven't taken a gun to my head. She knows that she has my life in her hands, she knows that if I can't have her then I have no meaning to live. But I know she will always love me, and that's why I have so much faith in my self to get better and love her right and keep my hands to myself. I have scarred her beautiful face…..I never felt so much pain then when I saw the blood pouring from her head where I hit her, I didn't mean to I swear. She was making me so mad and I snapped, I felt empty and heartless. _

_I hope she can forgive me for all my wrong and help me do right so we both can have a life full of love and happiness._

"You left me Bella" …

_**19/3**_

_She left!_

_She fucking left me!_

_Because of fucking Passion's raggedy ass! I have so much fucking anger…so she thinks this is really over, well she got another thing coming, no one walks away from Bella like that and fucking live to tell the tale. Alice must have lost her mind! She is so lucky that I'm locked up in this stupid ass hospital because if I was near her I would defiantly try to tear her head off. _

_She lost her rabbit ass mind! Passion fucking pushed me and I snapped, I couldn't stop until it was over, she should be fucking happy that I was hurting Passion and not fucking her._

_Because lord knows I want to. The girl makes me so fucking hot and bothered that I can't handle it, she feeds my anger and fuels my Rage with her words and aggression. If I wasn't with Alice I would have her legs spread and pussy wide open in seconds._

_Stupid ass bitch! Telling me we're over!_

_I say when we're over not her!_

_I say what's goes on in this relationship….she has no voice, whatever I want she will do._

_And if she wants to give me some lip._

_Well I will punch her ass in her lip._

_Just wait until I get the fuck out of here, she will learn…that her place is at my feet._

_**26/3**_

_If I killed everybody here, would I be doing everyone a favor?_

_I don't know I just feel that most of the people in here is a waste of space, like me. If I had the chance to give them an out I would…I wish someone would give me one. _

_Alice hasn't called or came by, I'm not going to dwell on it though, she can do whatever she fucking wants to….I'm not going to stop her. Passion is getting on my fucking nerves and James is about seconds from having his nuts for lunch, where the hell is Carlisle, he was my doctor…..not this ponytail wearing faggot. He's been pushing my limits and I was ready to explode, I hope fuckers know to stay clear away because when I blow...Somebody's getting hurt._

_She thinks she can fuck with my head but, I tell you this, that bitch will have a rude awaken if she think Bella fucking Swan will follow her ass around like some lost puppy…Bella don't get down like that, she might have my heart but she don't have the permission to treat me like shit._

_Where the hell is Carlisle!_

Hearing a knock on my door, I yelled at them to go away and turned the page, tears falling hard as I read.

_**28/4**_

_Once had friends…..now all alone in this box they call a room, I'm suffocating in this piece of shit._

_I'm losing hope_

_**4/5**_

_I saw an angel._

_I was dreaming and suddenly I woke up and there it was, just sitting there on the end of my bed. Its wings extended and bright. She was beautiful and had the most gorgeous eyes I have ever seen. _

_Her wings were this gorgeous black color, I smiled at her as she smiled. _

_She didn't talk and so I didn't we just stared at each other until I felt myself shooting up in the bed sweaty and scared._

_What does it mean when you see a angel?_

_But more importantly what does it mean if your angel's wings were black?_

_**16/5**_

_I don't want to hurt anymore._

_Baby don't you know that I can't handle it. _

_I don't want to fight anymore._

_Life has won this battle._

_Too much pain._

_I give up._

**This last one, will be of Bella last thoughts while she was locked up, her last words carved into the stone with the blade before she died.**

_**20/5**_

_HERE I AM FUCKER!_

_You want me!_

_You can have me…I don't want it anymore! I know you can hear me, I know you feel me because I can feel you. I can hear you breathing in my ear._

_I feel your presence. _

_She betrayed me….I have no reason to want it anymore, so you can take it…I don't need it._

_You're a coward!_

_And I thought we as people suppose to be scared of you! You are a bitch._

_If you want me…you have to come and get me yourself._

_Your little shadows on the wall don't scare me, I am a of emotions….she killed me and now you can have my soul._

_No one else wants it._

_I would gladly walk the steps into your eternity._

**Well there you have it, the end has come and I had a emotional and thrilling ride writing this. I never wanted to go this deep in this story, I just wanted her have a anger problem but my mind came up with something total different…but I am glad that mind went this way because this story shows the hardship that most people in this world has to deal with. I am blessed that I have family that loves me and care for me, if I could I would love everyone….because not feeling loved at all can damage a person dramatically. Bella had so many stab wounds, her mother didn't want her, her father let her mother brainwash him resulting in leaving her unprotected and Henry stole something precious from her. She found love at the last minute, Charlie tried his hardest but it wasn't enough…Alice broke at the end only to feel the pain of losing her love. This story brings tears to my eyes.**

**Thank you all and make sure you go and tell someone you love them even when you haven't said it to them in awhile. **

**Tell someone you love them….you might be the first person to tell them that.**

**From yours truly, **

**BloodVenomTears0816.**


End file.
